Thursday, October 30, 2008

Is That All There Is? Is That All There Is?
Reflections on the '08 World Series...

If that's all there is...then let's start dancing...let's break out the booze and have a ball...If That's All...There Is...

I can't help but feel that this year's World Series was just kinda totally fragmented somehow. Monday Night, no one seemed to know what to do. I'm referring to the split-up Game 5 between the Phillies and Rays. The rain was coming down in torrents in Philadelphia, and both teams were slogging away in the rain, and it was getting just Plain Old Ugly out there. Finally, The Tampa Bay Rays tied it, 2-apiece, and BAM! The game was called. I got the impression the Powers That Be were looking for a stroke of luck, trying to find an appropriate place to End The Game. Technically, the Game could have been called after five and a half innings, if Weather had been a factor, Which It Definitely WAS Monday Night in Philly. The Phils were leading 2-1, and in most cases, it would've been Game Over at that point. Ah, but this was the World Series! Obviously, the ideal situation here was to have both teams TIED before "calling the game"; my question is, if Tampa Bay had not scored that second run, how many rain-soaked innings would the teams have had to play before a decision was made? Would we have seen ballplayers out there wearing snorkels and swim fins flailing away at moisture-laden baseballs which had swollen to the size of grapefruit?

Had Tampa Bay not scored that second run when they did, this World Series Game would have become a colossal exercise in futility; Sportscasters Joe Buck and Tim McCarver were expressing incredulity at the fact both teams were still out there, and no one seemed to know what to do. The field was fast assuming the texture of knee-deep Oatmeal, and really, no one (except ducks and other waterfowl) could play in that weather. And then, Tampa Bay scored the tying run, which was just the doctor ordered; the game was (conveniently) shortened at that point. My question: Would the game have been shortened if Tampa Bay had not scored that tying run when it did? And Tampa probably wouldn't have scored any more runs in upcoming innings that weren't played that night, because it's pretty hard to hit a baseball when the batters have to wear swimming goggles, and it's hard to run the bases when your rain-soaked uniform all-of-a-sudden weighs 20 or 30 more pounds due to water saturation.

The Series Could Have Been Decided Monday Night. According to generally acknowledged rules of Baseball, An "official" game was played before Tampa Bay came up to bat in the middle of the 5th inning. This is a rule that all teams know, going in. But if The Commissioners were gonna wait until the score was tied 2-2, why not just play a New Game when the weather's better? A New Game starts out at 0-0...what's the difference? Instead, we all tuned in again Tuesday night, and the rain-shortened game was again postponed due to Rain, and finally, on Wednesday Night, the Entire Baseball Nation tuned in for a measly three innings of baseball; after an hour, the Phils won the game, and won the series, 4 games to 1, and that was it! Because of the Rain in Philly, neither team could really take full advantage of Player Talent; it's hard to do anything well when Mother Nature is pouring bucketfuls of Cold Water On Your Head. Basically, in order to preserve the integrity of The World Series, a Rule Was Broken. The one that says, Ya End The Game After Five-and-a-half innings if the weather's Rotten. Isn't player safety an issue?

But since that's NOT what happened, and perhaps if Tampa Bay hadn't tied it, perhaps play would've continued for two or three more innings Monday nite, and the batters would've been zipping between bases on Jet-Skis, and the outfielders would've been wearing Life Preservers. If you're gonna make One Special Rule for the World Series ("any game that has a possibility of being shortened due to rain cannot be Officially Suspended until a tie score is achieved", for example) then ya might as well commit to just starting the Entire Game Over, so you can see some half-decent baseball instead of having to endure the visage of Baseball Players Wallowing Around In The Mud Looking For The Baseball, Which Landed, "Splat!", somewhere between the pitchers' mound and home plate, disappearing in the muck. Not ending this rain-soaked game 5 until the score became tied, was a decision of CONVENIENCE, pure and simple, on the part of Major League Baseball. "Oh no, we can't have a team in the World Series win a rain-shortened game, especially one which decides which team is the Series Champ; it just wouldn't look good!"

If I was baseball commissioner...I would do what I heard several Sports-Talking heads advocate: MAKE THE BASEBALL SEASON shorter! After all, Inclement Weather has a funny way of happening in the Middle Of October. Another advantage of a shorter season: Less Injuries, more quality baseball due to less injuries! Major League Baseball can't really eliminate the various Division Series; that would be akin to trying to shove toothpaste back in the tube. To that, I present some alternatives: shorten Spring Training! Or, perhaps, Play Less Regular-Season Games. It's either that, or require Every Major League Team In America install Domes With Retractable Roofs, which obviously, some smaller baseball markets can't afford. The only good thing I can think of, concerning this just-ended Series is that Jamie Moyer is getting his World Series ring. No one in baseball deserves it more. Jamie Moyer, at his best, is a true wizard. He doesn't throw much over 80 miles an hour. If there's such a thing as a "crafty Lefty", he's it.

As to the title of this blog, "Is That All There Is" was a 1969 hit for Peggy Lee, who had to have been at least 120 years old at the time. Okay, she wasn't 120. But she was gettin; up there by then. That song is one of the most haunting tunes I've ever heard. More trivia: The song was composed by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, who also wrote Elvis' "Jailhouse Rock". So now ya know...

Monday, October 27, 2008

The Beatles' "WHITE ALBUM":
...still challenging to listen to after all these years...

Oh great...just another thing I became aware of that makes me feel Really Old. The most famous album in the world that featured (in its original pressing) absolutely NOTHING on the cover, except for the words, "The BEATLES", in raised-letter print, set at an angle in the lower right-hand corner, was released 40 years ago this month. Original copies were also Numbered...mine is 0094485, which is a pretty low number, considering that the White Album sold at least a couple million copies back then. It is still one of their weirdest albums; even though there were no psychedelic effects on it, it's chaotic, it's disjointed, and parts of it are STRANGE. In 1968, things were so bad, John, Paul and George recorded a lot of the albums' songs separately, while Ringo went from studio to studio to provide drum licks. In fact, things got so bad within the group, that Ringo quit the band for a few days; that's when "Back In The U.S.S.R" and "Dear Prudence", the first two songs on the album, were recorded, with Paul on drums.

Beatles Producer George Martin wanted to boil down The White Album by featuring the best songs, which would comprise a really good single album, but by then, The Beatles weren't letting anyone tell them what to do, and wanted to release all the material as a 2-record set. John said the "White Album" was his favorite, because he got to portray himself and his music accurately, while Paul described it as "The Tension Album", due to the fact that John didn't want to do anything Paul wanted him to do, and George was fast growing into a great songwriter and got sick and tired of Paul telling him what to do. I've read one Beatles' book that describes the "White Album" recording sessions as "poisonous", which is about as bad as any given situation can get (as stated in recording engineer Geoff Emerick's recent book, "The Long And Winding Road", a great read and a fascinating character study of the Beatles).


John, Paul, George and Ringo; photos which were included with the White Album.

So, if to you, the "White Album" sounds chaotic, slightly off-center, and threatening to collapse upon itself, that's because that's how it was back then. I always felt the album had a weird "vibe" to it...much later, when I read about those recording sessions, I can see why it sounded so absolutely fractuous. They all hated each other back then and no one was getting along. And that "vibe" translated into the music. It's a hot, tense, uncomfortable vibe. I think it's a real testament to the group that they still managed to record some great music under a great deal of stress and strain, which was only made worse by John bringing Yoko into the recording studio during the sessions, something which the other Beatles absolutely HATED. In fact, she SINGS on the "White Album" (side one, track 5,"Bungalow Bill"...that's her high whiny voice on the line "not when he looked so fierce"). To cap it all off, John insisted that "Revolution 9", an 8-minute montage of sound effects, radio anarchy and speech excerpts be included in the album's tracks, which went directly against the wishes of everyone else in the group.

My take on the "White Album"? It's hard to listen to. "Revolution 9" SHOULD have been left off. I didn't like George's track, "Piggies" all that much, either. Ringo's "Don't Pass Me By" is barely passable. There are songs that indeed could have been left off, but after all these years, it is what it is, an audio documentary rife with animosity among the Beatles when they were recording it. Is it a good album? I think so, although I tend to agree with most critics who say the album is nothing more than a collection of solo tracks, John's, Paul's, Georges' (and even one track written by Ringo), with the others functioning as sessionmen, not really caring about what the others were doing. Without Paul pushing everyone else in the band, there might not have been a "White Album", or even an "Abbey Road"...trouble was, the other group members hated Paul for Pushing So Hard, trying to keep the group together. The Beatles didn't so much break up as BLOW up, and the White Album is where the bad vibes came to the surface. It's not the easiest album to listen to, but it's honest, laid out there for us all to see. 40 years later, it still sounds fairly bizarre.

The next album, "Abbey Road", was the last thing the group ever recorded, and by that time, the group knew it would be their last, and they wanted to go out on a good note, which is why "Abbey Road" sounds much more harmonious than the White Album, although "Abbey Road" did have its tense moments. Anyway, since I included the Beatles' "White Album" photos above, and I've mentioned "Abbey Road" here, here's a little Halloween Salute inspired by John, Paul, George and Ringo...if you look closely, you'll see the faces are actually pumpkins...



"Abbey Road" was the last album the Beatles recorded, although "Let It Be" was the last album they released. If you want to experience Beatle Tension first-hand, all you have to do is view the "Let It Be" movie. That movie is as hard to watch as the White Album is to listen to.

SHOVING SOME WORDS TOGETHER...
...THIS is what I do when I get desperate for stuff to post...

John Lennon was once asked, by some nosy, invasive reporter, how he got his ideas for songs he wrote. Lennon, obviously sick of the press, said, "I just shove a bunch of words together and then I just shove some music on." That's kinda how I wrote this blog post...

The World Series: So far, the Philadelphia Phillies are ahead 3 games to 1, which means they could win it all Monday Night. (Let's See...I've got two TV's; maybe if I hook them up side-by-side, I could watch the World Series and Monday Night Football simultaneously?) One of the big factors in the Phils' success in this series is Former Seattle Mariner Pitcher Jamie Moyer, the crafty Lefty who throws at Approximately slow-pitch softball speed. He got severely hit around in his first two post-season appearances, but his light shone brightly last night; he made it into the 7th inning, and all of a sudden the Phils had a win that no one thought they'd win. Congrats, Jamie...so I'm rooting for the Phils 'cos Jamie's such a good guy and no one deserves a World Series Ring More. Think of it...an ex-Seattle Mariner in the World Series...which is about the only way one could Perceive That, since there'll never be any current Mariners in the Series for quite a few decades. Or Centuries.

They probably didn't need to make the call: I got phone-solicited the other day by a lady who was calling in support of Barack Obama's campaign. She was obviously hoping I wasn't going to vote for John McCain. As if anyone will vote for him? Well, yeah, there's probably a few Republican diehards who will, but McCain's campaign has repeatedly shot itself in its collective foot, and the entire Republican Prezzidential Campain comes off as disingenuous, dunderheaded and in dissaray. I have never seen a political campaign conducted so amateurishly. Honestly, I'm tempted to vote a Straight Ticket this time around; I'm so disgusted with how the Republicans have been running the country. Some pundits out there are saying that Sarah Palin (who has vacant real estate inside her skull) is planning ahead for the Next Election. Huh? What? She has a worse chance of Ever Becoming Prezzident than Dan Quayle. At least Dan Quayle didn't come off as Evil. Quayle? Harmless. Palin? BAD NEWS. Go home, Sarah, and Spy On The Russians some more from your lofty perch in Alaska...

I had to get rid of a bird: I recently had posted that I bought Another Bird...I thought my Meyers Parrot (Little Jill) needed some company when I was away. Oh, my gosh, did the feathers fly. One parrot would attack the other, leaving me to wonder, why can't we all just get along? Maybe I should've stuck it out, but what with all the Doctor/Dentist things I'm going thru these days, I couldn't take the Parrot tension anymore...I would bring them both out at the same time so they could get used to each other, and maybe even play together...but things don't work out that way in the Bird World. You see, Little Jill has turned out to be very possessive of me, and saw the other bird as a threat...so after one last skirmish (where I got bitten quite hard by both birds), I just gave up and took the the other bird, a little Conure, back to the Pet Store, where they're selling him on consignment for me. Live and learn, huh?


If you try to mess with me, you've gotta deal with a Possessive Parrot and her finely-honed beak first!

I have to look at it this way: If Jill doesn't mind being 'the only bird', that's okay with me. She's a good little girl, she waits at home for me, and luckily for the rest of the human race, I never have company over, so she can't bite anyone. I wish I knew what parrots think, or what they feel, but one bit of information I've come across is true: Parrots are Wild Animals, no matter how tame you think they are. I have beak-punctures on my fingers to prove it. I'm frankly amazed at how parrots can become attached to people instead of other birds. Or maybe I'm just not used to things being attached to ME. That's part of it, probably.

Some things I'm Really Looking Forward To: Oliver Stone's movie, "W." is coming out very, very soon, if it hasn't already, and although I don't go out to many movies, this is one I've just gotta see. That's "W.", as in George W. Bush. Also, the new James Bond movie comes out in November. And finally, Paul McCartney is coming out with a new album, only it's not by McCartney although it IS. (???) The album is being released under a McCartney pseudonym, "The Fireman" (why he chose that name, who knows...). The first two "Fireman" albums were nothing more than new-age-type music spiked with Ambient Noise. This third Fireman album ("Electronic Arguments" is the title), has some McCartney vocals on it, reportedly. And on one song, he screams nothing but Bad Things About Heather, you know, the witch he divorced. I'm not a big McCartney fan these days, but, I'll buy anything new he records. Although he doesn't need my money. Not by a Long Shot.
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A Wall Of Water: One of my favorite things to do is to Sit at the End Of The World. Well, it may not be the Actual End, but when I'm sitting waay up high on the rocks of the Jetty, where Ocean meets bay, I can actually immerse myself in nature, appreciating the winds, and the weather, and the natural beauty of it all. I can see Pelicans hunting and diving for food, ships passing by, smell the salt air, and just Take It All In. And it always makes me feel a bit better. So here's a view you don't see every day...from where I was perched, about a dozen feet above the ocean...a Wall Of Water...


Once, while sitting up here, the Winds weren't blowing in my favor; a Wall of Water similar to the one pictured above crashed into the jetty, sending Half A Ton Of Water Spray in my direction, and I felt like the entire Green Bay Packers Defensive Team had Landed On Me. I was soaked to the Gills in an Instant. I'll never forget that...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I've been FLIPPED OFF before...
...but I've never gotten the 'finger' quite like this...

I don't even know how to start out this posting. Hell, I don't even know if I should post this at all! So, I shall proceed in best blundering fashion, all the while trying to "metaphor" my way out of something that could be quite graphic to those of us who aren't employed in the medical community somewhere. (How am I doing so far? Ulp...) I see my doctor like clockwork (if indeed a six-month interval can be termed "clockwork"), and he asks me how I'm doing; if I've had any problems, my blood pressure and pulse rate get taken, my Uric Acid levels are analyzed, and with that, he'll write me a prescription and send me on my way. Well, that's the way it usually works...I'm 54 years of age, which is pretty-much the age that similarly-aged Males are, well, ahem, "thoroughly" checked out every now and then. Fortunately for the doctor, he had the element of surprise working for him, because if I'd known THIS was gonna happen, I woulda been freakin' out for days and days beforehand. As it was, I didn't have time to get scared!

So what kind of checking did the good doctor do? (Oh, this is painfully excruciating...) Well, the best way I can describe it in a family-oriented blog such as this is, "The Doctor Put On One Rubber Glove", and let's just say I got to know my physician A Little Bit Better. Yikes! I mean, it's only been a year since I got checked out...er, "under the hood" (colonoscopy). But yet, once what was left of my presence of mind returned after becoming totally and abjectly surprised with a deer-in-the-headlights sort-of vacant stare, reason prevailed, and I told him, "well, this is probably the wrong stage in my life for me to be afraid of doctors, so ya might as well go for it." Things turned out good, though...let's just say 'the plumbing is unobstructed' and leave it at that. "Roll With It, Baby", as Steve Winwood sang back in the '80s. I'm just responding to things the way a cork responds when it's thrown into the middle of a cascading stream. Go with the flow. And I've NEVER been a 'go with the flow' type person, EVER. And ya know, it's kinda interesting, once the shock of certain things wears off. I feel like I'm observing myself from outside of myself, and most of the time, I'm quite bemused.

I'm also doing extremely extensive DENTAL things these days. I'm paying a heavy price for not listening to My Mom when she told me to Brush My Teeth. I don't know why I was never very vigilant about Tooth Care. I just wasn't. I can't explain it. Maybe I've been a good-for-nothing slob all my life, which is Distinctly Possible. However, I submit the following: Along the way, I fell victim to some very bad dentistry, as witnessed by the fact that half of a tooth came out when I was eating scrambled eggs one morning. Or a root canal that never healed enough for a permanent "cap" resulted in That tooth getting broken off. Plus, the fact that, whilst engaged in the minimum-wage wars of the last 20 years, I was never able to AFFORD proper dental care. A few years ago, I got some funds from my parents' estate, and Now's The Time to Get On It, as far as doctors & dentists are concerned. So now I'm having to lay down $$$ for dental care, because My Teeth Are Poisoning Me.

I had three extractions yesterday; I'm having three more next week, and more in the weeks to follow. And I imagine I'll be helping to keep the company that makes "Poly-Grip" in business in the days to come. Dentists aren't cheap. So I have less money in the Investment Account than ever before, now, in this age of the Government Bailing Out the Financial Community 'cos things are so Financially Rotten everywhere. Do I regret that my finances are dissipating? Of course. But what good is money in the bank when one's health is at stake? And so, all of this goes back to the "Cork In The Stream" metaphor (remember, the one I used waaaaay back in this post?). It's time to Quit being afraid of Doctors and Dentists. The other day, the dentist asked me, after he shot my head full of novacaine (or whatever they use these days) if I was ready, and I looked up at him and said, "Let's Rock And Roll". He's an Old Bald Guy, and I bet he doesn't hear THAT response very often. And, it's reassuring to meet Someone Older Than Me. Now I Don't Feel (quite) So Old.


Money wasn't meant to be kept. And if you try to keep it, it just flies away faster!

I'm thankful that I've lived this long. All the internal components the doctor examined today (including the prostate) are Just Fine. My blood pressure is 110/80, my heart rate was clocked at 66 beats-a-minute, and my Gout is Still Very Much In Control; I've been on gout meds for going on 3 years now. I look forward to feeling better after all my Dental Stuff is done, because frankly, I've been chronically tired and without drive for the last year; I still think that bad bout of flu I had in September '07 knocked the daylights out of my system. And my rotting teeth dumping dental gunk into my system can't be helping much, either. So, I am getting things done, because Now Is The Time To Do Them. And you know...every day, no matter how painful, is worth living. I believe that's the long-term picture any of us has to have in order to survive. That attitude's gotten me this far. Life is meant to live. So I'm living it, warts and all.

At the end of this long, tough day, I was sitting in the La-Z-Boy with a parrot on my shoulder, and the thought came to mind that "it doesn't get much better than this". There is hope. In spite of the fact I can get chronically depressed over Not Very Much, sometimes I'm content, too. Here's to extending those times of contentment.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Joe The Plumber...
...gets his fifteen minutes of fame...
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Well, everyone's talking about him, so who am I to be different? I'm speaking, of course, about "Joe The Plumber", who was mentioned myriad times by both Prezzidential Candidates in the last dizzy Prezzidential dee-bate. And shortly thereafter, the News Organizations began focusing their evil eyes on poor ol' Joe. And talk about shining the Bright Light...in the Pressure-Cooker of Politix, the NewsPeople can cook yer goose faster than a Microwave Oven. And that kinda
happened to ol' Joe here...
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Hey, Joe...where you goin' with that Wrench in yer hand?
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John McCain immediately began referring to Joe The Plumber in the latest Debate. Yep, Mr. McCain sure seemed to be concerned about him. After all, in Joe The Plumber, McCain finally found someone more BALD than he is. So, imagine, this plumber from the Great State of Iowa; one day he's busting open someone's bathroom floor, trying to get at all the Toilet Connections...then the next, he's trying to fight off all kinds of ultra-invasive News People who clamored, breathlessly, for a chance to get a scoop on the Nation's Newest Celebrity.
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Perhaps this whole thing will turn out great for Mr. Joe The Plumber. I can just see it now...during the Super Bowl, we'll see Joe the Plumber in a Roto-Rooter ad, perhaps. Maybe Joe can license his image, and then maybe Tidy-Bowl will win the rights to make those little Toilet Freshners, you know, the ones that clip inside the bowl, and the 'cake' will be round, just like Mr. Joe's bald head. (John McCain already has the market cornered on Pillsbury's "Doughboy" image.) Maybe, one day at your local Mega-greedy-Mart, in the plumbing section, you'll find "Joe The Plunger", replete with Joe's smiling visage on the label. And Joe will be a millionaire, living out the American Dream, as few of us who even Dare to Dream come even remotely close to doing.
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But before I get too carried away here, I must point out that Mr. Joe's fifteen minutes of glorified fame might have just run out. Due to the harsh scrutiny of the "kick-em-when-they're-up, kick-em-when-they're-down" media, it's been revealed that ol' Joe has a Tax Debt. And, he's not even Really A Plumber. He doesn't have a Plumber's license. And I had dreams for ol' Joe The Plumber. John McCain could boot Sarah Palin offa the ticket, and bring ol' Joe aboard. Joe The Plumber. Just the guy who could fix LEAKS. That would've fit somehow, in a Repubblican administration. Well, that's all shot to hell now. Joe's credibility is an issue. 'Bye, Joe...
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Once my pipes burst in the dead of winter. I called a plumber and got one to come out "after hours" to fix things. It took him the better part of an hour to get things fixed. But since he'd driven 25 miles into town (he was home when he got called out), there went the better part of $300. Plumbers are like doctors; only Plumbers don't work on Living Things...I guess I should be grateful that Plumbers Still Make House Calls...

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

An Open Letter To RINGO STARR...
It Don't Come Easy, You Know It Don't Come Easy...

Ringo Starr, drummer for the Beatles All Those Years Ago, has told the public he doesn't want to sign things anymore, so Don't Send Him Stuff. A video of him is circulating around the web, in which he's Royally Pissed Off, bawling out his fans, telling them to basically "*&#$ off". And this is what I would want Ringo to know...

Ringo, I've loved the Beatles' music forever. And, your solo albums are pretty good, too. You're the inspiration for countless musicians; when I play drums, I hear 'drum fills' you've done in my head as I play. I thought you did an impeccable job of backing the Beatles, and you've carried that flair over to records you've done, whether they be Solo Albums of Yours, or on which you backed up the other Solo Beatles, or other artists in general.

I'm a fan. I'm a good fan. A Damned Good One. I never clamored for autographs, I never sent you things in the mail, I never wanted a Piece Of You. I didn't passionately want the Beatles to Reunite; I figured the Beatles collectively went as far as they could go. All I ever did was play Beatles records, as well as other records you drummed on. I was content to let the Beatles' music become the soundtrack to my own life. After all, had the Beatles not come along, perhaps the music of the '60s, which I grew up in, would have been radically different.

I see the Beatles' legacy as the Sowing of Musical Seeds, which other groups either specialized in or developed further. As a result, because of the Beatles, I grew to love all the other bands, too, whether it be the Byrds, Paul Revere and The Raiders, the Dave Clark Five, the Lovin' Spoonful and countless other myriad bands that came on down the line. I loved 'em all. I have to give the Beatles the Ultimate Credit for Starting It All, for creating a climate where dozens of bands who actually played their own instruments and wrote their own songs, charmed and fascinated thousands upon millions of music lovers such as I.

I am offended at the tone you took with your Fandom, sounding royally pissed off that Fans Actually Remember You. For every single fan you've signed something for, there are hundreds of us who Loved The Music, and that's All We Wanted. So in a way, I feel you are scolding ME for something I didn't do. Is THIS the thanks I get for being a devoted fan for so long? Is it WRONG to be a fan? Would the Beatles have existed WITHOUT fans?

I've read the Beatles' story in various pictorials and histories; I know you guys had a hard time dealing with the imprisoning fame that the Beatles (and later, others) generated; it had to be very difficult for you all, and I suppose that, in a way, you have a right to Hate The Fans. Were I in your position, after touring for years and getting mauled by Audiences who loved You Guys, I might be cynical towards fans, as well.

But I am disappointed, a little bit hurt, and taken aback that you expressed yourself as you did in this video. I guess, even though someone such as yourself is endlessly appreciated for the music you helped create, in the end, All Us Human Beings, whether famous or not, are nothing more than Imperfect Creatures Stumbling In The Dark, making mistakes and (hopefully) learning from them. I'll play your music when inspiration strikes, but I'll never see The Beatles in the Same Light Again.

If indeed the Camera caught you in a weak moment, when you forcefully told us fans to Take A Hike, this must be how you REALLY feel, because what you said wasn't gilded with all kinds of politically-correct-sounding phraseology; oh no, you came right out and said it...'Fans, get lost, I don't want you anymore, I don't need you, and oh, by the way, Peace And Love'. So, Ringo, I'm disappointed. Really disappointed.


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The Beatles' Legacy is fast becoming a Remote Thing Of The Past. Sometimes I wonder, I honestly do, why I collect the records, why I've spent so much money in the acquisition of Beatles' collectables. And then I remember how important they were to me; how fulfilled I was by their music, and I'm so thankful they came along when they did, not only for their own music, but by the countless other musicians they inspired. But in the end, we're all human. Painfully human. Oh well...

Sunday, October 12, 2008

ADVENTURES AT LOW TIDE...
Well, it might be low-key, but it's an adventure for me...

Actually, today began with fog, clouds and an occasional sprinkle, so naturally, I thot I'd just stay home all day; it was Sunday, after all. In the middle of the Seahawks' football game, I looked out the window, and it turned out a sky of blue had replaced all the ugly gray clouds. Par for the course on the coast, where weather changes every 30 seconds. Figuring the 'Hawks would lose anyway (which they did), I made sure the parrot had enough food, and off to the beach I went. And this time I remembered the camera!

When I got to the beach, it was Low Tide. Very, very low. It seems like every Sunday I've been out here, these guys can be seen with their steeds; notice the lead rider's got a young cowpoke-to-be on the saddle with him...(Me, I kinda shy from animals who are bigger than me...)

The last time I'd been up to the Jetty and looked among the rocks, I'd noticed a whole bunch of little bits of sea life that you don't see when the tide is high. Only, I didn't have the camera with me. Hopefully that won't happen again....and today, sure enough, there were signs of life just waiting for my camera lens...


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Starfish! A bunch of Starfish! At first glance, all you see are the orange ones, but if you look really hard in the shadows, you can see a couple more (click the photo, it blows way, waaay up). They're just hangin' out, waiting for the tide to rise once again and engulf them. They then resume filtering food from the ocean water, as only starfish can do. They certainly can't do much of anything at low tide, but just hang around, which they're doing a pretty good job of here.

I tried to get really, really close to get a good photo, but the jagged rocks, combined with my own sense of imbalance, coupled with the fact the tide was coming back IN, made it a hassle to get too close. So I stood upon a rock, and used the zoom lens to capture this picture of a starfish in detail...



Now, I'm no Wildlife Expert, although I know a Starfish when I spot one. After taking the above photo, I walked up the jetty, toward (somewhat) higher ground, but since the tide was way, waaaay out, quite a lot of the jetty rocks that are normally underwater weren't. Another Starfish presented itself, along with some of his little Ocean-buddies (those greenish-ring-things--anemonies, maybe?), and it looks like this starfish is an especially pudgy little guy...



...further up the jetty, the Star-fishes became fewer and fewer, but that didn't mean they weren't there; it just meant that I had to look a little harder for 'em. So I slowed down a little bit, took more time to look between the various rocks, and lo and behold, found this little guy, who was hangin' on as best as he could until the tide rose once again...



...but of course, Starfish ain't the only creatures one can find among the rocks during low-tide; oftentimes, you can find other little water-bound creatures who've become marooned from the rest of the ocean, because the tide has receded so much, leaving little tide pools, here and there. And that's where little Mr. Crab was lurking, hoping no one would find him...



This little fella was hiding in a pool of water, between the rocks, desperately trying not to become Dinner for some Seagull which might be flying by. Finding Mr. Crab was a total surprise for me...I nudged him with my walking stick; first he moved towards it, in some sort of crab-attack mode, then he slinked away, further under the rocks, but that's okay...he was captured with my camera...
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By this time, it was beginning to get kinda late...and kinda chilly. The days are getting short...in July, the Sun was setting even with the Jetty Rocks below, at the right edge of the picture; it now sets further south, beyond the left side of this photo. And in-between the two sides of the picture, a commercial fishing boat can be seen coming in after being tossed around by the waves all day (I get green in the gills just thinking about that...ulp...).



Maybe I'm a tenderfoot lightweight (or a heavy-footed tenderweight), but the chill in the air as sunset neared supplied me with all the motive needed to begin heading back down the beach to the car (a half-mile walk), and since this cool panoramic view was ahead of me, I thot, well, why not try to immortalize it, so here 'tis...the Cape Arago lighthouse, sitting high atop Chief Rock. The lighthouse is no longer in operation, but it'll probably sit there forever; it's solid concrete, and has stood on that rock since 1930...if the harsh coastal winter weather hasn't ripped it apart by now, it probably never will...



I still haven't yet been able to see the Moon directly over the ocean; I can imagine when the Moon is setting over the ocean, that's a tremendous view, as the curvature of the Earth's atmosphere magnifies the Moon's size. So I pointed the camera the other way, and captured the Moon at the same time a gull flew into view. Pure luck on my part; sometimes, photos have a way of constructing themselves...


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...and so as night fell once again with a resounding thud, I took one last photo (below), and then did an about-face, heading down to the beach, where my chariot awaited to whisk me home. Here's the Moon over the local Coast Guard station, located on top of what is called "Chicken Point" (I have no idea where THAT name came from)...
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I've put a lot more new photos into my Oregon Photos album, which you can access by clicking the appropriate Missing Link located in the Left Margin...you'll probably have to scroll down to find it, but it's there...truly an internet showcase...

Friday, October 10, 2008

IT'S HARD TO LOOK AWAY...
From a You-Know-What...

I used to blog every day, sometimes two or three times a day, as you'll find out if you go back thru my archives...well, I don't do that anymore. Or do I? This week has really been rich with news, and when I heard about today's developments, A Picture Popped Into My Mind, and the urge to post blasted away inside my skull. First, the gory details...

Repubblican Prezzidential candidate, senator John McCain's been spreading comments alluding to, but never quite saying, that Barack Obama is some flamethrowing Arab Terrorist Subversive Fascist, and McCain's supporters have swallowed the bait...at a Republican rally-type appearance today, McCain found himself having to DEFEND His Opponent! "Barack Obama is a nice guy, not someone you have to be afraid of"...and McCain's supporters actually BOOED when McCain said that! If that's not enough, here's something else for ya...

A bi-partisan committee of the Alaska State Legislature has found that McCain's Running Mate, Sarah Palin (The "Sarracuda") ABUSED HER POWER as Governor when she got a State Trooper Fired for personal, conflict-of-interest-type reasons. Palin's husband evidently was the one who instigated this whole thing, and it's obvious Sarah didn't put the brakes on her husband. All of this is now boiling and festering, and threatens to throw the campaign, well, off-track...

In short, it's hard to look away from a you-know-what...



All of this reminds me of a Journalism teacher I had back in my college days...we were learning about headline composition, and he told us never to refer to politicians as "Solons", because being a "Solon" implies that one is Wise...

Thursday, October 09, 2008

I didn't even realize he was GONE...
...as much as I watch MSNBC, you'd've thot I would've noticed...

I spend quite a lot of time watching MSNBC...although I make sure and switch off the channel at strategic intervals so that Chris Matthews of "Hardball" can't bark at me. That's gotta be the most obnoxious voice I've heard since Sam Donaldson used to bark at President Reagan way-back when. No, Matthews isn't gone; he's alive and well, with that Voice of his that can Peel Paint. Matthews seems to be one of those people who have built-in amplifiers somewhere deep in their vocal cords. Some people have piercing, annoyingly loud voices; it's folks like that who can't even WHISPER quietly.

I've got the kind of voice that goes hoarse after a 10-minute phone call. I had dreams of being a radio announcer, and I actually did that, but I have a CRAPPY voice for radio. And I met a whole lotta radio people in my lifetime who had BIG, BOOMING VOICES, and half the time I couldn't stand to be around them. My Dad used to yell, Yell, YELL ALL THE TIME, and nothing sounded as awful as My Dad YELLING away at me, only he kinda "honked" more than he yelled. Images of Canadian Geese come to mind here. HONK! HONK! HONK! Could be that's why I never got along with loudmouthed bosses. They kept HONKING at me. Of course, I have another flaw; I Hate To Be Told What To Do. So what's my recourse? I CAN TYPE EXCEPTIONALLY LOUDLY, SHOUTING IN "BOLD" ALL-CAPS, HA HA HA HAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Ahem...I got kinda carried away there...anyway, the MSNBC Talking Head that I don't seem to see anymore is Tucker Carlson. Talk about someone with a crappy voice; it isn't really so much a voice as it is a constant twanging, nasal whine, as if he were a case of arrested development; he kinda reminds me of a nerdy high-school kid, you know, the kind that wore dress slacks, white shirts, wing-tip shoes, and who carried a briefcase around with him, everywhere he went. The kind of nerdy kid who was more at home discussing quantum physics rather than reveal any sort of genuine personality. Tucker is best heard in small sound bytes; I guess he's some sort of correspondent for MSNBC now. His show's been replaced by Rachel Maddow's show. And, get this...Rachel's voice is deeper than Tucker's. Honestly, I didn't even know he was gone 'til I read about it somewhere on the internet this evening. How long's he been gone? 2 months? Half a year? I honestly don't know.

Okay, all of that leads me to this next feature...a "separated at birth" sort of thing. This first one features Tucker Carlson and the image that came to my mind every single time I saw him on TV...he used to wear that nerdy trademark red bow-tie, which made him look even nerdier. I guess the powers at MSNBC had similar thoughts; in his last couple of weeks (whenever that was), he was wearing a necktie, like all the other talking heads, which removed any individuality he had to begin with...so here's Tucker...



...and here's the image my mind conjured up every time I saw Tucker Carlson trying to look anything like an authoritative talking head...



...aah, but, Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm not done here...next up, the other talking head I referred to in this post, Chris Matthews of "Hardball". Here's Chris...



...and here's the image that comes to mind every time I see Chris Matthews, barking away at someone or something...



...political animals they both are. Woof! Actually, that squirrel up above reminds me of John McCain, too. But actually, he looks more like the Pillsbury Doughboy...
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Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Below, you'll see THREE DIFFERENT POSTS in one long posting; it was getting late, I had all this stuff which I wanted to post. I didn't want to leave any of it out, but I didn't want to make three separate postings...so, awaaaay we go......

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Debates? Or just ARGUMENTS?
...you know, it's just EXCRUCIATING to watch these things...

Ho-hum, another election year, another bunch of Prezzidential debates. Only, are they really debates? From my perspective, they sound like argumentative confrontations. I always thought the word "debate" implied, you know, some dignity, some civility. But ooooh my, these Prezzidential Debates are just Downright Nasty. I made history last night by enduring a Prezzidential Debate for the first time. And then I went totally off the deep end, watching MSNBC's re-broadcast. That way, if you hadn't had enough of John McCain's pacing like a punch-drunk boxer, throwing the kitchen sink at Barack Obama, all the while Obama demanded the right to re-butt one of McCain's points after McCain had lambasted Obama in a rebuttal, so Obama's response was a rebuttal to the rebuttal, all the while Tom Brokaw, who I thought was not as graceful and debonaire as he usually is, scolded both candidates like school kids getting into a fight over a piece of bubblegum....

I did find it amazing that McCain referred to Obama as "that one" when referring something that Obama did or didn't do. Honestly, there was so much thrown out there by both candidates, that for me, it all sorta runs together. The only positive thing I can see coming out of this debate, is that both candidates have the next 27 days to clarify things so people who ain't normally political, such as myself, have at least a few cut-and-dried options disguising themselves as any kind of knowledge, so that when I enter the voting booth, I can actually feel like I'm almost making a decision that borders on at least a foggy semi-knowledge of what's going on. Which would be good.

The economy absolutely stinks right now, and the Candidate that Us Citizens believe can lead us out of all of the stock-market-based woes will probably be the one who Wins The Election. But more than that, there's a certain "likability factor" that ticks away within us all, originating deep within our respective frames of reference. What was our impression of the person we just saw; how do we feel about what they said, and so on. I got the distinct impression that Obama is Really Trying To Be Nice while at the same time, fending off McCain. At the same time, McCain seemed to "circle the ring", looking for a pugilistic confrontation. McCain's attempts at humor and his cheesy fakey-smile were ill-advised, and I thot it was rather ironic when McCain was standing in front of Tom Brokaw's cue cards at the end of the political jousting, and Brokaw asked him to move. So I've got Just the Slogan for the Obama Campaign: "McCain...In The Way." Come On, Mr. Obama...take the gloves off...you can do it...

Face it, things get pretty crazy when you have two firebreathing candidates competing for the Prezzidential Seal (as seen at left, arf arf...) In short, I just didn't LIKE McCain a whole lot last night. Oh, he's slick, all right. He rattles off the political jargon; indeed, it oozes out of him like some acerbic form of Verbal Slime. McCain knows his way around the Political Arena, for sure. After all, he's had 30 YEARS OF PRACTICE! Maybe, in any other time, McCain's Military Experience might count for something, but Our Country just happens to be going through an economic Deja Vu, circa 1929 these days. I've even taken to reading Stock Reports to get an idea of how my bank is doing. Gosh. First I get political, then I start reading the financial page? The world as we know it must be ending. There's a comfortability factor that McCain just did NOT have; his entire presentation sounded forced. And in a way, Obama is damned if he attacks McCain (respect your elders!), and damned if he doesn't (lest Obama be seen as a wimp). I think, after the last 8 years, we're all wanting a Prezzident who is believable, can complete a sentence, and maybe projects some warmth and compassion. I don't expect perfection; we all screw up. But, doggone it, isn't it about time we had a Prezzident who can LEAD? I was so disappointed when Bill Clinton threw away what little integrity he had for a White House Library Encounter. I don't want needless scandal to negate a President's effectiveness. Don't you hate it when that happens?

I have reservations about BOTH candidates. We've all just endured the Most Corrupt Prezzidential Administration in history, led by an aging Frat Boy, with the Really Scary Vice Prezzident calling all (or most of) the shots. McCain may be a good guy. But LOOK WHO'S HIS RUNNING MATE! If McCain's heart clocks out 6 months into his administration, we've got HER in the Oval Office, and, oh my gosh, I don't even want to think about that. At the same time, Obama IS a Junior Senator; he's just about Everybody's Junior in terms of Senate Experience. An unknown quantity, versus a time-worn and possibly antiquated quantity. I guess if you wanted "a choice" and have been frustrated 'cos you didn't have a choice, well, you've gotta HECKUVA choice this time around. I have an idea of which way I'm leaning in this election, but rather than endorse anyone here, I'll just say, let the best man win, and regarding Prezzidents I've voted for in the past, well, I've been disappointed before. Maybe this time I'll get it right...
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Have the wheels come off the "Straight Talk Express"? Will "Change" lead us all to more of the same? Who knows? I heard a radio DJ saying, "why do I need all these (political talking heads) telling me what the Debaters said?" Well, sometimes those talking heads can clarify, perhaps provide focus, although I get suspicious that any focus they may impart is nothing more than Spin. What, me cynical?

...and now, for posting number two, because after all, you see, there are three posts in this post; an unheard-of value in these inflationary times...

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Pause and Remember, if you will...
Today, October 9th, is his birthday. He would've been 68.

But he belongs to the ages now. John Lennon, probably the Most Famous Person In The World way back when. From all accounts, it was a crushing fame. Some see him as a sage, a visionary; I see him as Just another imperfect Human Being who helped bring a huge about-face to music All Those Years Ago. He's still very much alive in his recordings; he sounds vibrant, vital. But he left this planet 28 years ago, and with each day he recedes further and further, sinking ever deeper in our collective consciousness...

I remember at the time of his death, and long afterwards, I felt Tremendous Loss 'cos he was killed at such a young age, so senselessly. Now? I still revere him, but the sting of his passing is largely gone now. George Harrison's death probably had a lot to do with that. The Beatles, or rather half of them, are Old Men Now. (Even tho Paul will never admit to it.) I love their music; I always will. What can I say; I'm a product of my times.

The Beatles' Fame is a thing which will probably never fade out until the last Beatle has drawn his last breath. Gosh, I remember how much I loved their music...whenever a new Beatles' single hit the airwaves, I just had to Go and Buy it as soon as I could. They were part of my life. No, I didn't look to them for vision or inspiration or any of those lofty things; rather, I enjoyed the music, for it was Melodic. Adventurous. Different. Unique. And it's still a pleasure to hear them. Maybe I'm an old 'phart', but I still find their music fulfilling. And it's still a pleasure to watch them old Beatles' records spin 'round and round...
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I don't listen to them as much as I used to. Nor do I spin their records as much as I once did. But whenever I play 'em, they "Don't Let Me Down". The music still sounds like it was made "Yesterday". And when I hear Beatles' music, "I Feel Fine".

Okay, kids, just one more little innocuous post to go...and this one's especially innocuous in an eminently forgettable way...

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A FACE ON A VASE...
An arty artifact that I've had for FORTY YEARS...

In 1968, I was sitting in my Earth Science Class in Junior High School; it was mid-morning, and all of a sudden I began feeling sick. Sweaty. Clammy. Really Sick. I had to be carried to the Principal's office. My Mom was called. Her best friend, a nurse, was visiting my Mom at the time. They came and got me and took me to the hospital. All of a sudden, I was being "shaved" and prepped, and wheeled off to surgery...I'm not kidding, it happened just like that. My Appendix had come awfully close to bursting; the doctor said it was just about ready to explode when he took it out. I was in the hospital for a week. I was looking forward to watching TV nonstop. Well, that plan went down the tubes; former President Eisenhower died that week, and the networks (all 3 of them!) were providing 24-hour coverage over several days. I'll always remember a remark my Dad made: "They better BURY him before he starts to STINK!" Funny, the things a person remembers.

So anyway, I told you that story to tell you this one: While I was in the hospital, recovering from my Appendix Extraction, the Pastor of our Church came by with Flowers In a Vase. And somehow, through every time I've moved into a new place down thru the years, whether it be college dorm, apartments, houses or wherever, I've managed to keep this vase (seen at right). It features the face of a Shepherd. Maybe Jesus? I've never been sure. I suppose it would be a fairly valuable heirloom, except that I dropped it about 20 years ago; a piece broke off; nothing Krazy Glue couldn't fix, however. I suppose I put the Plastic Rabbit in the vase for some sort of absurdist touch, since I can be, more than occasionally, absurd. As I've been here, in this far-less-than-relevant-to-anything section of posting...
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There you have it. Three posts for the price of one. Never let it be said that I never gave you anything less than full-value for your Hard Earned Dollar. I strive to blog truthfully, never letting my public down, with never an ounce of Spam...(whoops, I'm sounding like a Political Candidate now...)

Yep, you made it through all three posts. I realize that if you've read this far, you've put your life on hold for a while. Thank you, dear citizens, for your sacrifice. Vote for me! (Wait, I'm not running for anything...)

Monday, October 06, 2008

Obtuse Observations...
Nothing special to post about, so here's a bunch of stuff:

FROZEN OUT OF BASEBALL: I spent all season watching one of the worst-ever teams in the Annals of Baseball History, The '08 Seattle Mariners. And they may not be much better next year, either. No prospects in the farm system, same old management, and the ever-present hex on any team that bases itself in the Emerald City. The M's tanked this year, the Seahawks are in the process of undergoing another losing season, and the Pro Basketball team moved to Oklahoma, where the corn is as high as an elephant's eye...anyway, now that the Baseball Playoffs are underway, I'm being FROZEN OUT. The playoffs are on TBS, a channel which my expanded basic-cable DOES NOT feature. And if my cable company thinks I'm gonna upgrade so I can watch two weeks of baseball playoffs, they're CRAZY.


One could say that the Seattle Mariners pretty-much "unraveled" this season...

I've been told I can listen to the Baseball Playoffs on ESPN radio. Great. The local small-town station that carries ESPN down here has all the transmitting capacity of a couple of 9-volt batteries; you can't hear it if you're on the wrong side of a rocky ridge after the station lowers its power...which is happening earlier and earlier as the days get shorter. (Radio Waves travel further at night, so some "AM" stations have to 'power down' at night, lest they interfere with another station on the same frequency).
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I GOT SCOOPED BY MY OWN PHOTO: I stay in touch with what's going on where I used to live by reading Huckleberries Online (www.spokesmanreview.com/blogs/hbo; better click it while you can 'cos I understand the web address is soon gonna change). For a long time, I read the Spokesman-Review Newspaper, and it, like many other dailies, is Experiencing Hard Times. Sad. I'm familiar with some of its people. Layoffs have happened. Christmas is only 60 days and change away. So I sent the editor of Huckleberries Online a little fotoshop-thing I did, to cheer him up, and he went and POSTED IT. I got scooped by my own photo, 'cos I haven't posted it here yet. Although I am largely 'apolitical', I couldn't resist doing this...


Basically, the SaraCuda is being hunted so someone can put a MUZZLE on it...

Okay, that's fine. I'm glad they used it, although I didn't do a very good job...you can see 'smears' in the above photo where I couldn't match Shades Of Blue uniformly in the picture. Now, here's where the irony lies...I sent That Same Person another cheer-up photo quite some time ago and he never posted THAT photo. All I did was take a quaint summertime picture of two little girls jumping into the water, and modify it just a wee bit...


You gotta watch out for them Rocky Mountain Lake Sharks. They're constantly in a feeding frenzy...
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TURNING THE TABLES: Lately, I've been listening to the soundtrack of the movie "Woodstock", where, in 1969, people got to wallow in the mud for 3 days listening to their favorite bands with 300,000 other people. I love the music, but You Can Keep The Mud. There's enough of THAT in Politics. Anyway, I came into possession of the 4-CD set of Woodstock Performances, which features previously-unreleased material by Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Band, Johnny Winter and Tim Hardin, as well as More songs by the artists which were featured on the original 1970 Soundtrack album. My favorite Woodstock Moment? Stephen Stills, of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, thanking the crowd for the applause: "Thanks, we needed that. This is the second time we've ever played in front of people, and we're scared SHITLESS." This, after the group BEGAN its performance with "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes", one of the most complicated songs I've ever heard. Believe me, CSN (and Y) EARNED that applause.


The Woodstock soundtrack (one record in a 3-album set) spins away on my turntable...

My favorite Woodstock Musical Rarity is "Sea Of Madness", a song written and sung by Neil Young (The "Y" in "CSN&Y"), and to the best of my knowledge, the Woodstock Soundtrack is the ONLY place one can find that song. He recorded it nowhere else, on the legions of albums he (or the group and he) have made over the years. Brain teaser: What groups were Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young in, before CSN&Y? Answer at the bottom of this post...
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WANT TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?: You remember those fairly-recent American Airlines commercials which depicted yer Average American having a Really Bad Day, and it wasn't about to get better anytime soon...I think that pretty-much sums up the photo below:


The "Juice"... got SQUEEZED...where's Johnny Cochran when ya need him?
(Photo stolen from the files of Huckleberries Online, where they're all pickin' and grinnin'. Well, not grinnin'...)
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THIS IS KINDA HARD TO SWALLOW: What ISN'T wrong these days? We've just had some sort of big stock-market bail-out instituted by the Bush Administration; the net result being that the day after the bail-out, the market plunged another 300 points. Originally it sank by over 800 points, but it rebounded, if you can call reaching a lesser Negative mark a rebound. That's what it is. A Negative Rebound. Sheesh. I think I've just invented a new political term, one that ranks up there with "Slippery Slope" or whatever else the Pundits like to decorate their pseudo-newscasts with these days. But the Economy, WILL be the major issue in the forthcoming Prezzidential Election(well, along with McBlame's unconscious aloofness and SaraCuda Palin's relative ignorance, plus zillions of things that Joe Biden's Smile Alone Cannot fix...). So you're irritated, all up in arms, you can't relax, you're losing sleep, inflation's eating your paycheck...all right, take a deep breath; I've got just the cure for you. The world-famous CHILL-PILL...


As promised, here's the answer to the question I posed above: David Crosby was a member of The Byrds. Stephen Stills and Neil Young were members of Buffalo Springfield. And, Graham Nash was a member of The Hollies. That's his voice you hear on "On A Carousel" (Not one of The Hollies' best tunes; in fact, it's kinda cloying and annoying...) Ah. Blog over. Time to Chill. Where's that doggoned pill...

Friday, October 03, 2008

What Does a Parrot Do All Day?
A Day In The Life of my little Meyers' Parrot...

What with all the serious stuff happening out there (take your pick; stock market buyouts, high gas prices, The Vice-Prezzidential Debate, layoffs, the just-concluded Miserable Seattle Mariners '08 season), we need maybe some lighthearted stuff; after all, this is the weekend. So what do I have to offer, on a somewhat lighter note?

Well, how about some speculation on the lifestyle of the typical Parrot? Since I have a Typical Parrot (no, that's not a new breed of bird), I can maybe fill in some of the blanks here. If you were a Parrot, well, what would you do all day? I will try to enlighten you, based upon things I've read, as well as personal experience with Jill, my typical Meyers' Parrot. I can only guess what she does early in the morning, since I'm not a Morning Person and probably will never be. But anyway, if you were a bird, your day would probably go something like this:


Jill, my Meyers Parrot, having an in-between-snack meal...

*SUNRISE TO 9AM: Rise and Shine. Yawn...Guess I better Get Up, stretch my legs and wings, and then maybe I'll climb down the cage bars to where my Food Dishes are. MMM! What should I start with? Oh, those Sunflower Seeds look good. (Crunch, Crunch, Crunch.) Oh, the bowl on the floor has More Seeds and some Sun Chips fragments which that "big blobby thing" that takes care of me left in the bowl. MMM...Sun Chips...yum........(crunch, crackle, chew, chew...)

*9AM-11AM: My caretaker hasn't gotten up yet...well, I guess I'll go back to the top perch and take a little nap.....yawn, stretch.....all right, I feel rested now...oh, I've just gotta have more seeds and Sun Chips fragments....okay, I'm kinda full now...think I'll climb around the cage some more...I hope my owner gets up soon; I need some fresh Green Beans...I'm so hungry; need green beans...need green beans...need green beans...I'll just go back to the top perch and wait for that funny two-legged creature who serves me to get out of bed...(for all I know, that's probably how my parrot sees me...)

*11AM to 1PM: Oh, boy! My owner got up! He reached inside my cage! He's taking the green bean food cup! Yaay! I'm getting some Fresh Green Beans! Oh Boy! And he's back! He's putting the Green Beans in my Cage! Yummm! Oh, what's that thing he's carrying? It seems to hold a steamy brown liquid which my owner needs after he gets up...did I hear him say, 'gooood coffee'? Mmm...good green beans (chew, chew, chew)...oh, now I need some seeds...(munch, crunch...) now I need some water...more green beans...more seeds...oh, this food is making me sleepy...time for a nap...ZZZzzzzz....
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(It's usually during this mid-morning time slot that the Bird Owner makes a break for it while The Bird is eating ravenously; after all, the Bird Owner needs to get out of his cage...er, house...and see what the Rest of the World is doing...)
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*1PM to 5PM: Oh, my owner seems to be gone...I hear some funny kind of noise from that big black thing over there...(that would be a radio, folks, left on so the bird has a little something to listen to)...mmm, that was a nice noon nap...I need more seeds (crunch, munch)...I'd better take it easy on my Sun Chips fragments or I'll run out (crunch, crunch)...oh, good, I still have some green beans in my dish...(sorry, green beans don't 'crunch')...yawn...this food is making me sleepy...ZZZZzzzzz.....(Repeat this sequence a few times.)

5PM (or whenever I get home) until 7PM: Oh boy! He's back! We're gonna have some FUN now! Whee! He's taking me outside for a Walk Around The House on his perch (which happens to be my shoulder)...Whee! Now I get to sit on the perch in the front room where all the WINDOWS are! Wait, I'm hungry now...(seed dishes are near that perch as well) MMM...he brought my Green Beans from my cage! Yum...oh, more Seeds and Sun Chips Fragments (crunch, munch, chew, chew, chew)...and now I get to sit on his shoulder! I hope he scratches that place on my head that's been itching me so bad! Oh, and I'd better ruffle my feathers, too...yawn...oh, I'm getting sleeepy again...

7pm-9pm: Yawn...stretch wings...Oh, good; my server is Taking Me Back To The Cage...I need a nap; whoops, I'd better eat some Green Beans and Seeds and Sun Chips Fragments first (chew, chew, crackle, crunch) yawn...ZZZZzzzzz....(sometimes Bird is too tired to find a perch sleep on; she can fall asleep in her food dish)...now I'd better eat some more of all my food (chew, crunch, crackle, munch...) okaaaay, that's it...bedtime...if I can just make it to the top perch...oh, good, he's dimming the lights and turning the TV down....ZZZZZzzzzzzz.....

9PM-Sunrise: Bird, For All Practical Purposes, Is Dead To The World. Repeat Above Steps after Next Sunrise. Dream of being a mighty Eagle. ZZZzzzzz.....

FROM WHAT I'VE READ, most birds have an active time in the morning and again in the afternoon. It would seem that in the afternoons, after the bird's mid-day forage, it's play-time. Time to snuggle with the owner, time to fly from living-room perch to owner's shoulder, time to sit on owner's shoulder while owner does housework, etc. etc. etc. For those of you who need pictures, you can play the little photo album thing-a-ma-jig that I've inserted below...



So there you have it. I'm pretty sure pet birds don't scheme or plan or plot all kinds of insane things when left alone...at least I don't THINK they do. Now that I'm done with this post, I think I'll go get something to eat (chew, chew, munch, slurp, crunch...)