I've been FLIPPED OFF before...
...but I've never gotten the 'finger' quite like this...

I don't even know how to start out this posting. Hell, I don't even know if I should post this at all! So, I shall proceed in best blundering fashion, all the while trying to "metaphor" my way out of something that could be quite graphic to those of us who aren't employed in the medical community somewhere. (How am I doing so far? Ulp...) I see my doctor like clockwork (if indeed a six-month interval can be termed "clockwork"), and he asks me how I'm doing; if I've had any problems, my blood pressure and pulse rate get taken, my Uric Acid levels are analyzed, and with that, he'll write me a prescription and send me on my way. Well, that's the way it usually works...I'm 54 years of age, which is pretty-much the age that similarly-aged Males are, well, ahem, "thoroughly" checked out every now and then. Fortunately for the doctor, he had the element of surprise working for him, because if I'd known THIS was gonna happen, I woulda been freakin' out for days and days beforehand. As it was, I didn't have time to get scared!

So what kind of checking did the good doctor do? (Oh, this is painfully excruciating...) Well, the best way I can describe it in a family-oriented blog such as this is, "The Doctor Put On One Rubber Glove", and let's just say I got to know my physician A Little Bit Better. Yikes! I mean, it's only been a year since I got checked out...er, "under the hood" (colonoscopy). But yet, once what was left of my presence of mind returned after becoming totally and abjectly surprised with a deer-in-the-headlights sort-of vacant stare, reason prevailed, and I told him, "well, this is probably the wrong stage in my life for me to be afraid of doctors, so ya might as well go for it." Things turned out good, though...let's just say 'the plumbing is unobstructed' and leave it at that. "Roll With It, Baby", as Steve Winwood sang back in the '80s. I'm just responding to things the way a cork responds when it's thrown into the middle of a cascading stream. Go with the flow. And I've NEVER been a 'go with the flow' type person, EVER. And ya know, it's kinda interesting, once the shock of certain things wears off. I feel like I'm observing myself from outside of myself, and most of the time, I'm quite bemused.

I'm also doing extremely extensive DENTAL things these days. I'm paying a heavy price for not listening to My Mom when she told me to Brush My Teeth. I don't know why I was never very vigilant about Tooth Care. I just wasn't. I can't explain it. Maybe I've been a good-for-nothing slob all my life, which is Distinctly Possible. However, I submit the following: Along the way, I fell victim to some very bad dentistry, as witnessed by the fact that half of a tooth came out when I was eating scrambled eggs one morning. Or a root canal that never healed enough for a permanent "cap" resulted in That tooth getting broken off. Plus, the fact that, whilst engaged in the minimum-wage wars of the last 20 years, I was never able to AFFORD proper dental care. A few years ago, I got some funds from my parents' estate, and Now's The Time to Get On It, as far as doctors & dentists are concerned. So now I'm having to lay down $$$ for dental care, because My Teeth Are Poisoning Me.

I had three extractions yesterday; I'm having three more next week, and more in the weeks to follow. And I imagine I'll be helping to keep the company that makes "Poly-Grip" in business in the days to come. Dentists aren't cheap. So I have less money in the Investment Account than ever before, now, in this age of the Government Bailing Out the Financial Community 'cos things are so Financially Rotten everywhere. Do I regret that my finances are dissipating? Of course. But what good is money in the bank when one's health is at stake? And so, all of this goes back to the "Cork In The Stream" metaphor (remember, the one I used waaaaay back in this post?). It's time to Quit being afraid of Doctors and Dentists. The other day, the dentist asked me, after he shot my head full of novacaine (or whatever they use these days) if I was ready, and I looked up at him and said, "Let's Rock And Roll". He's an Old Bald Guy, and I bet he doesn't hear THAT response very often. And, it's reassuring to meet Someone Older Than Me. Now I Don't Feel (quite) So Old.

Money wasn't meant to be kept. And if you try to keep it, it just flies away faster!

I'm thankful that I've lived this long. All the internal components the doctor examined today (including the prostate) are Just Fine. My blood pressure is 110/80, my heart rate was clocked at 66 beats-a-minute, and my Gout is Still Very Much In Control; I've been on gout meds for going on 3 years now. I look forward to feeling better after all my Dental Stuff is done, because frankly, I've been chronically tired and without drive for the last year; I still think that bad bout of flu I had in September '07 knocked the daylights out of my system. And my rotting teeth dumping dental gunk into my system can't be helping much, either. So, I am getting things done, because Now Is The Time To Do Them. And you know...every day, no matter how painful, is worth living. I believe that's the long-term picture any of us has to have in order to survive. That attitude's gotten me this far. Life is meant to live. So I'm living it, warts and all.

At the end of this long, tough day, I was sitting in the La-Z-Boy with a parrot on my shoulder, and the thought came to mind that "it doesn't get much better than this". There is hope. In spite of the fact I can get chronically depressed over Not Very Much, sometimes I'm content, too. Here's to extending those times of contentment.