Thursday, October 09, 2008

I didn't even realize he was GONE...
...as much as I watch MSNBC, you'd've thot I would've noticed...

I spend quite a lot of time watching MSNBC...although I make sure and switch off the channel at strategic intervals so that Chris Matthews of "Hardball" can't bark at me. That's gotta be the most obnoxious voice I've heard since Sam Donaldson used to bark at President Reagan way-back when. No, Matthews isn't gone; he's alive and well, with that Voice of his that can Peel Paint. Matthews seems to be one of those people who have built-in amplifiers somewhere deep in their vocal cords. Some people have piercing, annoyingly loud voices; it's folks like that who can't even WHISPER quietly.

I've got the kind of voice that goes hoarse after a 10-minute phone call. I had dreams of being a radio announcer, and I actually did that, but I have a CRAPPY voice for radio. And I met a whole lotta radio people in my lifetime who had BIG, BOOMING VOICES, and half the time I couldn't stand to be around them. My Dad used to yell, Yell, YELL ALL THE TIME, and nothing sounded as awful as My Dad YELLING away at me, only he kinda "honked" more than he yelled. Images of Canadian Geese come to mind here. HONK! HONK! HONK! Could be that's why I never got along with loudmouthed bosses. They kept HONKING at me. Of course, I have another flaw; I Hate To Be Told What To Do. So what's my recourse? I CAN TYPE EXCEPTIONALLY LOUDLY, SHOUTING IN "BOLD" ALL-CAPS, HA HA HA HAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Ahem...I got kinda carried away there...anyway, the MSNBC Talking Head that I don't seem to see anymore is Tucker Carlson. Talk about someone with a crappy voice; it isn't really so much a voice as it is a constant twanging, nasal whine, as if he were a case of arrested development; he kinda reminds me of a nerdy high-school kid, you know, the kind that wore dress slacks, white shirts, wing-tip shoes, and who carried a briefcase around with him, everywhere he went. The kind of nerdy kid who was more at home discussing quantum physics rather than reveal any sort of genuine personality. Tucker is best heard in small sound bytes; I guess he's some sort of correspondent for MSNBC now. His show's been replaced by Rachel Maddow's show. And, get this...Rachel's voice is deeper than Tucker's. Honestly, I didn't even know he was gone 'til I read about it somewhere on the internet this evening. How long's he been gone? 2 months? Half a year? I honestly don't know.

Okay, all of that leads me to this next feature...a "separated at birth" sort of thing. This first one features Tucker Carlson and the image that came to my mind every single time I saw him on TV...he used to wear that nerdy trademark red bow-tie, which made him look even nerdier. I guess the powers at MSNBC had similar thoughts; in his last couple of weeks (whenever that was), he was wearing a necktie, like all the other talking heads, which removed any individuality he had to begin with...so here's Tucker...



...and here's the image my mind conjured up every time I saw Tucker Carlson trying to look anything like an authoritative talking head...



...aah, but, Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm not done here...next up, the other talking head I referred to in this post, Chris Matthews of "Hardball". Here's Chris...



...and here's the image that comes to mind every time I see Chris Matthews, barking away at someone or something...



...political animals they both are. Woof! Actually, that squirrel up above reminds me of John McCain, too. But actually, he looks more like the Pillsbury Doughboy...
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4 Comments:

Blogger Dogwalkmusings said...

Oh my, I'm still laughing. Tucker has been gone for several months now. Rachel kind of had an audition on Keith Olbermann for several months then got her own show taking Dan Abrams spot.

I've pretty much quit watching MSNBC myself because they've become to Obama what FOX is to McCain. Nothing but bashing. Enough already!

3:04 PM  
Blogger Idaho Escapee said...

I prefer MSNBC to Fox, but yeah, MSNBC does sorta lean Obama's way, just a little bit. As always, the truth is somewhere in-between. On CNN, perhaps?

5:18 PM  
Blogger MarmiteToasty said...

I dont know these people, BUT the photo comparisons are great LMFAO.... very funny..

x

1:38 AM  
Blogger Idaho Escapee said...

Oh, Marmee...those two 'talking heads' appear on MSNBC, a cable-TV channel; they're both politically-orientated talking heads...

7:10 PM  

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