Saturday, April 11, 2009

I guess it's a British thing...
A Yankee Doodle's Initial Reaction to MARMITE...

I recently was the recipient of a small "Care Package" from one of my internet buddies, an English Lass who is known to all of us (and indeed, the world and the entire Universe) as "Marmitetoasty". For the longest time, I wondered what "Marmite" was; maybe a meat by-product derived from raised-in-captivity Marmots, for instance? Nope, I couldn't have been more off-base...Marmite is actually YEAST EXTRACT. (I can tell your taste buds are activated by just having found that out.) I'll Repeat: Yeast Extract. I imagine that Marmite is actually Very Good For You; it's full of all kinds of nourishing things, but like a lot of things that are good for you...well, you know, like Cod Liver Oil or Molasses out of the bottle...well, you get the idea...



In my little "Care Package" was one of the small heart-shaped containers of Marmite, seen above left. And I thot, 'how is that small package supposed to last long enough for me to get my fill?' And right away, I found out. It's gonna take me a while to finish that off. As you can see above right, Marmite is a thick oozy liquid with a thickness similar to Pancake Syrup that's been on the shelf for a couple of years, and it tastes like a 50-50 mix of Barbecue Sauce and 20-weight Motor Oil. Although there are people in our world who really love this stuff, even the company that manufactures it has accepted that Marmite isn't everyone's cup of tea; it's ads even say that you'll either Love or Hate it. Yep, no such thing an understated reaction to Marmite, for sure.
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If you're intrigued with all of this, and you're excitedly thinking to yourself, "Is there More?", well, yes there is. Marmite Is Here To Stay. How do I know that? Well, it turns out that Marmite has achieved a sort-of off-base popularity in various places in the world which evidently has manifested itself in other Marmite-derived products out there for you to enjoy (or not). You don't have to settle for just Ordinary Marmite and nothing more, no sir...may I humbly present, Marmite Breadsticks, and if you think Marmite's Great, you'll think Marmite Breadsticks are the greatest thing since Sliced Tofu...


That's right, Marmite Yeast Extract Breadsticks provides you with a crunchy way to enjoy your marmite. By themselves, these breadsticks taste not unlike Cheese Nips, one of my most favorite snacks; by themselves, they're pretty good. In the bag pictured above, there's about 20 sticks, each about an inch long and roughly the diameter of a pencil. Now, I realize most assumptions I make are just wrong, but looking at the marmite container and the little marmite breadsticks, it just seemed natural to assume that one should dip the breadstick into the marmite, and that I did...and that's how I came to taste the Marmite. And that's when my taste buds hit "TILT"...alarm bells went off in my brain, and all of a sudden that little teeny container of Marmite assumed Epic proportions. I honestly don't know how I'm going to get all the way thru it. It's an 8-gram container, which means I have about 6.5 grams yet to consume.
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Remember that old TV ad for Brylcreem, the Gunk that was designed for the Male scalp? It was supposed to nutrify your hair and make it look real good; Brylcreem wasn't "greasy kid stuff", after all. Well, I do believe that the same advertising slogan used in those Brylcreem commercials could also be adapted for the promotion of Marmite, and that slogan is "A little dab'll do ya". More than accurate, for I had a little dab of Marmite and it almost Put Me Away. The Marmite manufacturers, however, have expanded their product line. After all, Marmite is widely known in England, and I guess the product also has aficionados in New Zealand and Australia. And included in my little "Care Package" was included a container of Marmite "Cheddar Bites" (pictured below).
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I think The Marmite Manufacturers would've been more correct, though, if they'd named the product "Cheddar Nibbles", because that's all I could bear to do; just take a couple of nibbles, and I'm sorry, I really am, but I can't face eating the whole thing. I reclosed the container, and it's still eminating a rather pungent odor, about half an hour after I re-sealed it. The little container measures approximately one and 1/4 inch in diameter. Am I going to try and finish it off? I might as well try to eat a pound of uncooked Beef Brains...I just can't deal with -it...aughhhhhhh...
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Thankfully, inside the "Care Package" I received from Mizz Marmite, were also included some very fine Chocolates, and today I had Chocolate for Lunch, Afternoon Snack, and I'm even thinking about having Chocolate for Dinner, although if I did that, I'd have to wonder what I'd have for dessert...Marmite, maybe? Ack Ack ACK ACK AAAAAAAAAAAAACK! In addition to the Marmite and the Chocolates in the package I received, are also included a number of different 'experimentally-flavored' packages of "Crisps", which I assume is the British term for "Potato Chips". Among the flavors are Cajun Squirrel (!), Chili & Chocolate (!!), Fish & Chips, Crispy Duck & Holsein (Quack!), and Onion Bhaji (huh?). I double-checked, tho; no Marmite-flavored Chips anywhere in sight. Whew...
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Earlier this week, before receiving my 'care package', I'd gone shopping and bought a bottle of extra-concentrated "Tums" antacid tablets. Talk about timing! That'll come in handy, especially after I consume the Chili and Chocolate flavored Crisps.

8 Comments:

Blogger MarmiteToasty said...

Smiling at your words lmfao hahahahahahaha

That little marmite portion is just a sample..... I buy a medium jar each week :)..which is 250g... ya can drip the bread sticks in if ya want but the usual way of eating marmite is to spread it thinly(if your a doodle) on toastie soldiers and then dunk into a runny soft boiled egg.... me on the other hand eat it out of the jar with a spoon LOL....

You and your doodles blant tastebuds LOL hahahahahaha

Glad you like the rest of the goodies though, and oh, marmite not only do breadsticks and cheddar bits but they do crackers and rice cakes and CRISPS.. which were in your parcel but I ate them before posting LOL cos they are me favourite of all crisps :)

Happy Easter to you..... have a good one..

x

8:25 AM  
Blogger some guy who blogs said...

Hi, Marmie...for a while, I feared I might have alienated you with my Marmite Viewpoint. Gosh, that stuff is strong. If the company were run by Yanks, there'd be 'Marmite-Lite', 'Caramel-Marmite', Sweetened Marmite', etc. Dunking Marmite-saturated bread into runny eggs? Huh? I'm beginning to see why some Brits left their country to seek a New World...it was because of the taste of Marmite!

If the Marmite itself tasted more like the bread sticks, I could handle that. I do thank you for eating my 'Marmite' chips. Is the Marmite Cheddar real Cheese, solidified Marmite, or what? It's pungent stuff...I eat Medium and Sharp Cheddar all the time, but I could only nibble the Marmite Cheese. Blant Tastebuds?

On the other hand, I LOVED the "Fry's Turkish" Chocolate/Orange candy...I should have you buy a case of 'em for me. They taste Most Excellent. I found the CurlyWurly bar difficult to eat. The Caramel sticks to my dentures!

I saw the picture of the Marmite Toaster...is that the origin of your screen name?

Finally, just to let you know my taste buds, while weaker than those of a Brit, isn't totally "Blant"...I used to play drums in a band at local bars (pubs to you), and during break, I'd go up to the bar where drinks were being mixed, and ask the bartender for a couple of Green Olives...bar olives are much bigger and much more tart than what you can find in a store...I used to absolutely Crave those things. I also like OYSTERS. MMM!

7:17 PM  
Blogger toadman said...

Just a note to anyone who's tried marmite and decided it's not the treat for them: I'll take your leftovers!!

I still love the stuff.

2:46 PM  
Blogger toadman said...

I find the Marmite Cheddar bits to be especially nice, actually!

2:47 PM  
Blogger JeanC said...

I haven't tried the marmite goodies she sent me yet, I've been working my way thru the chocolate and candy :D Still haven't braved the crisps yet (and yes, "crisps" is Brit for chips (since chips there are french fries)), I figure I will sit down with a pad and pen and then do a formal taste test and post my results hehehehehe

3:31 PM  
Blogger MarmiteToasty said...

She? SHE? bloody she? who is she? the cats muvver lmfao........ hahahahaha

x

5:16 PM  
Blogger some guy who blogs said...

Hi JeannieC...hopefully your digestive tract won't tie itself in square knots when you sample that Marmite stuff. You could always pour it in your car's crankcase. The car might spit it out, tho. I've still got all my chips here. I don't know whether or not to dread sampling those Chili & Chocolate Chips. Er, Crisps...I thot a "Chip" was crisp, but I guess according to the Limeys, "Crisps" are crisp. I don't like crunchy French Fries. I love curly fries. (Curly Chips to the Brits, I think). But that's enough of this, right?.....

8:43 PM  
Blogger some guy who blogs said...

My averse initial reaction to the Marmite Cheddar Bites was in part because of the word "Marmite"...and since I thought the cheddar bits was chock-full of Marmite, well...aaack...

But, last night, I ate the Marmite Cheddar and on its' own, it tastes just fine. Although I couldn't spread it on my Marmite bread sticks. The cheddar just kinda crumbles. So you put some cheddar in your mouth and then toss in a bread stick. Chomp! But, I still have my unconsumed Marmite goop-stuff here, and I just don't know if I can handle another experience with that. Maybe the Marmite Corporation should make Chocolate Covered Marmite Bars? I might try that...

8:47 PM  

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