Tuesday, March 20, 2012

...that 1967 song by The Association kinda says it all...
My Latest Misadventure began earlier this week. I was in the TV room, and noticed that pine branches were hanging down, visible through the window. I think Pine Trees are absolutely gorgeous; I've lived around them most of my life. Tall and majestic with green needles sprouting forth; great providers of shade and overall, a comfort to see and experience. But the branches I saw out my window were not visible through that window a few days back. It was a matter that needed investigation; just the facts, ma'am, just the facts....and, I think I dodged a big bullet this time around. A TREE FELL ON MY HOUSE! Only the branches cusioned the trunk and kept it from crashing into my house. And that's where the tree branch visible through my TV room window came from. That little branch was actually starting to drop a bit, getting ever lower in the window. Shiverrr....

Luckily, my next door neighbor is a logger who's been laid off and was eager to provide me some help, and who was I to deny him, knowing that he needed to make some money and I needed to get this tree off my roof before those cushy branches gave out; the idea of sharing my TV room with a pine tree isn't exactly my idea of having a good time.

So, Mr. Neighbor and I came to an agreement: For the low, low price of $200 and all the firewood he wanted, things got started. I was in the TV room, trying to assure my little birds that all hell wasn't breaking loose as big limbs struck my house with all sorts of Crashes, Booms and Bams. When the Trunk finally fell, it hit the ground and shook my entire house. 
Here's the scene of the crime, shortly following the completion of "The Mad Pine Caper". You can see where my property rises uphill and the tree actually grew at a slight angle. And all of a sudden, that blemish on the side of my house looks a bit more ghastly without the tree being there. I imagine if I lived in a "zoned" area, I would've had to fill out an environmental impact statement before the tree could come down.
Finally, the residue from the "Tall Pine Fiasco", sans lumber, was piled up next to my car. You can see for yourself the branches that saved my life, my birds' lives, and kept my Beatle Collection from becoming battered into senseless little chips of vinyl. Maybe I'll build a bonfire once things dry up around here and bring the marshmallows and weenies. I like fire-roasted hotdogs only one way: Totally black with lots of mustard. MMMM.
Previously to all this, I'd gone down to see my Insurance people. I wanted to file a claim so I could save my house. Have someone remove the tree, and the insurance company would compensate me for the bill. But it doesn't work that way. I'd need to have at least $10,000 dollars worth of damage before the insurance company would even consider it. That must be what I'm paying my insurance company for...peace of mind knowing that more expensive claims than mine will get speedy service. That's made me come to realize that Insurance is designed to grease the hands of Big Money Lenders who'll gladly accept payments from you, once you have insurance. Who is in whose pocket here?
It's always nice to have something tangible to blog about. It's an opportunity for me to inject some realism into an otherwise bland entity which usually falls painfully short of any kind of Logical Thought. Well, Frank Sinatra once sang, "That's life...can't deny it...many times I thot of cuttin' out but my heart just won't buy it." And so I press onward...


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