Sunday, May 08, 2011

...does anyone have one I can borrow?

My left ear has been out of commission for almost a couple of weeks. Me, a music person with affected hearing. I understand Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys could only hear out of one ear after his dad whacked him in the head with a baseball bat. His ear can't be fixed, but mine can be, hopefully. My ear appointment is tomorrow, at which the doctor will switch on a miniature vacuum cleaner and stick it in my ear and suck all the impacted wax out of it. I've basically had 25% of my normal hearing capacity in my left ear lately, and it's a bummer. I've always had problems with that ear; back when I used to swim regularly, it was my left ear that needed an ear plug; if I didn't use one, I wouldn't have normal hearing for 2 or 3 days. I could hear the water sloshing around in my skull. This time, it's That Annoying Wax Buildup, the same thing all those frustrated housewives in Johnson & Johnson commercials have to face.

Looks like a problem for Roto Rooter!
 More than anything, though, I haven't really been able to enjoy listening to music lately. One speaker, Mono; Two speakers, Stereo. But I've been a Mono person in a Stereo world. I've tried experimenting with my stereo system; turning the right speaker Way Down and turning up the left speaker Way, Way up, and have been able to achieve some sort of audio balance although everything sounds muddy in my left ear. I cannot imagine never being able to hear music. It's one of the few things that can re-set my psyche whenever I've had a bad day. I've also tried listening to some Mono 45's, and old 78's (Scratchy Mono) and that works okay, although I notice that even on bad mono recordings, 2 ears are still better than one; there's a whole dimension of sound depth I'm missing. And I tell ya, if I can get my left ear working tomorrow, I'm gonna have me one heck of a Music Listening Party! And I'll try to stop before I go deaf in Both ears!

So for me to lose an ear is a real emergency, because I want my ears to WORK! I want it fixed RIGHT NOW! I'm afraid I'll lose my hearing! But the medical community doesn't see it that way. I've had an Ear-ectomy (or whatever you call it) performed on my ear before. It's a ten-minute process, but one of the disadvantages of a small town is that the medical community works at its own very, very sluggish pace. I tried arguing with the lady in the doctor's office, and she got mad at me because I was stressing her so badly! But lady, this is my ear! DON'T YOU CARE? "Sorry, sir, but there are no openings for two weeks." When I'm frustrated, I can get really nasty and I did. I later went back and apologized to her. I've tried using "Debrox" which is some sort of goopy liquid yer supposed to pour in the affected ear to dissolve wax, but that hasn't worked at all. So into the doctors' office I go tomorrow, and then I'm gonna set up a regular ear-maintenance schedule. Finally, three paragraphs about a defective ear is probably too much information, so I'll stop now.

Finally...and it must be said...I imagine my readers, all two of them, will turn a deaf ear towards this post...and I can't say I blame 'em...

BLOG UPDATE: I went to the Ear Doctor and now I'm hearing once again out of my Left Ear. Let's hear it for the little Ear-Vacuum cleaner. No More Waxy Buildup!


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