CAN FIFTEEN MINUTES REALLY SAVE YOU 15%?
...does Coach Jimmy Johnson use "Extenze"?
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I've been insured by the Gecko for a long time now. I have no idea how good this insurance company really is, since I've haven't had an at-fault accident since 1977. But who really wants to find out how good their insurance is...I don't want to get crashed into by someone else; traffic accidents being hazardous to your health and all...Insurance is funny that way; you insure yourself to the gills, all the while hoping you never actually have to use it.
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So here's my little green insurance mascot. He can comfortably stand on your open hand and charm you out of your socks if he has to. He's been in a lot of sticky situations. He's had a "name" sticker pasted on his body, basically covering him up altogether. He's been mistaken for a blonde lady's lover of a couple of years ago. He's disappeared up the suction tube of the Mailroom, where he started out with the company. He once stole the first dollar his boss had ever made and then bought a bag of 'crisps' (potat0 chips) with it. Our little friend has had quite a career so far. Indeed, this is one gecko who's paid his dues. While his complexion is green, he is not. He's a large part of why I stay with Mr. Gecko; I like a company that has a sense of humor. And not even Progressive Insurance's "Flo" character can sway me. And I think "Flo" is super cool. But she's not the Gecko. I contacted another major insurance company, and he pulled up my records and said that the Gecko had a better rate than he, the agent could provide me. Rah Rah Gecko!
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So how did the Little Green Guy get so famous? Did he just jump out of the mailroom and into instant stardom? Well, not exactly. Here's how our little green buddy looked back in the day. Image consultants decided that some "mainstreaming" had to be done in order for Mr. Gecko to appeal to the masses. He was as green as a gecko could be, but facial reconstruction and a nip and tuck here and there were needed. After that, he was advised to watch the BBC as much as he could, in order to pick up that accent of his. And lastly, every day while in makeup, a green paste is applied to disguise those blue spots all over his body. The Hollywood Treatment for sure...
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This next photo is transitory in that it shows Mr. Gecko, who had by this time, undergone some cosmetic adjustments, but before before he learned how to walk upright. That would prove to be his biggest chore, since Geckos are hard-wired to slip and slide around, and since they are quite rubbery, they have trouble supporting themselves with their rear legs only. But this was no average Gecko. He rose to the occasion and stood proud and tall. A little-known fact about Mr. Gecko is that he can only stand for 30 seconds at a time, and falls over, exhausted, once the director yells "CUT!!!" So Mr. Gecko has to be a quick study, since he can only do a few "takes" before he needs to get back on his slippery rocks, because after all, no matter how human he seems to be, our little friend is still a Gecko. There's no truth to the rumor that a Gecko Garter is being devised to help our little green friend stand for longer time periods.
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Competition is increasing in the Insurance industry, however. All of the major insurance firms are spending many zillions of dollars telling you how much you can $ave if you switch to this firm or that firm. While things aren't so bad that the Insurance Carriers are ready to Pay You to insure with them, the infighting continues. "Progressive" here. "State Farm" there. "Farmers" behind you. "Allstate" by your side. Soon, insurance firms will have to take out insurance to protect them from other insurers who are out to get them. Indeed, the folks at Geico are trying hard to protect their lovable little mascot from a fate such as this...
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Obviously this is a work of fiction. Or is it? Stay tuned for part two of this project...an insurance commercial I'd like to see. Betcha can't wait!