THE COMPUTER MIMICKS LIFE...

...but it ain't ready to die just yet...

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Over the last few years, I've been posting these blog entries using a primitive little HP dv6000 laptop computer. And it's been a good computer, although it was outdated the day I bought it, replaced by a laptop which had more memory. Kinda like buying a car; it depreciates the minute you drive it off the lot. Along with what's known as the "tail-light guarantee", in which the dealer guarantees your car until he can't see your tail-lights anymore as you drive away. Actually, though, HP has provided me with good customer support, although their computer tech help sometimes is really difficult to understand, especially if the tech person is working in a sweatshop in India or The Philippines or wherever they are. I've spoken English all my life, but there's no way I can talk in such rapid-fire bursts as they tend to do.

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But this post is about my poor little computer. No, it doesn't look quite as bad as the picture might indicate, but lately it's begun showing symptoms of old age and overuse. It began when some of my number keys stopped working. That's really a hassle, since the ever-important "@" key on the "2" began dysfunctioning; that symbol, of course is used in all Web Addresses, and without it yer sunk. And the Number keys are important if you have numbers in your passwords or web addresses. Things got so bad last week that I posted/pasted a bunch of numbers, as well as my e-mail addresses and other number-combinations I frequently use in my e-mail inbox. Every time I used a number, I copied it off the web after which I'd paste that number into my e-mail and then copy and paste it back into whatever I was trying to do. I'd have to copy and paste things several times in order just to type someone's E-mail name. Bah. All of a sudden It Was Work. It would take half me half an hour to address an e-mail if the person's screen name contained numbers.

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Then, my computer Lost Its Identity. It didn't know who it was anymore, or where it resided. In short, my Internet Tinker-Toy couldn't connect with my wireless modem! All of the numbers were coming up as 0.0.0.0, and it couldn't match its pre-established numerical web address. As a result, this computer was about as useless as the average person's appendix or little toe. And THEN, I couldn't get the doggone thing to turn on! Or, if it turned on, it would go immediately to an HP digital player page that would shut me off once again. And then it would take me half an hour to turn it back on! One such time, I hit the "F8" button which took me into some sort of set-up thing, but still, no progress was being made. Now that I'm online again, I suppose I could call Tech Support to reconfigure this machine so the wireless web address will match my IP number, but I just can't face doing that right now. Especially if the tech support person is in India or the Philippines.

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Finally after two days of contemplating whether or not to toss this computer from the highest cliff above the ocean I could find, it hit me: "There are, you know, other ways to connect to the internet! You have CABLES and CABLE INPUTS! Try THAT!" Bingo, the light bulb in my vast empty skull switched on, and yea verily, upon employment of the little sinister-looking yellow 'ethernet' cable, I was once again able to go online, so I could keep depositing cyberspace trash (of which this post is a good example) for the forseeable future. So I am now tied to an umbilical cord of sorts. Instead of being a fancy-free computer that could operate most anywhere in a wi-fi zone, now it is tied down to a cord and it can't go anywhere, although it still has at least some life left in it. But I'm afraid to turn it off; it might not come back to life again. So I'll gently close the lid after posting, and the computer can hibernate 'till the next time I need it.

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After all of the above, I began thinking that 'The Computer Mimics Life'. After all, we're born, we get wiser, we do some dumb stuff along the way, and when we reach old age, our capabilities diminish; it takes extra effort to wake up, and stay awake, and things we do hurt more than they used to. Well, Laptop Computers are manufactured, they leave the plant, someone buys them, they're programmed and filled chock-full of bits and bytes, and it will work just about anywhere you take it. But as it ages, the characters get worn off the keys, you have to pound the computer keys with jackhammer-force just to type a "1" or an "@", and finally it can't receive signals anymore, so it ends up on its last legs, tied to an Ethernet cord until it crashes, burns and dies.

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Finally, my computer has one more symptom, and this one's ironic in that I cannot hear anything on the internet including the stuff I've posted in the left margin of this blog. The speakers have fallen silent. I haven' t found a way to make this better. Help!