I'M STILL OUT OF FOCUS...And So Are My Eyes...

...fun and games in the vast intricacies of the eyewear industry...

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Blogger's note: To fully appreciate what I've written here, you might (or might not) wanna check out my eyewear-related postings for May 21st, May 5th, May 3rd, and April 21st...they're in the archives. Now, back to our blog, already in progress...

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Two weeks after my last visit to the Eye Clinic, I went back in today for yet another eye examination, after which I'd finally get new eyeglasses according to the results of today's exam. That's what I was told; that's what I was led to believe. After I'd been told the last time, that yes indeed, I could get a pair of multi-purpose glasses using the traditional "lined bifocals" format, today, I was told, No, No, No, and the young lady who is some sort of an intern at the eye clinic told me That Last Pair of eyeglasses should have never been made for me (a pair that didn't work; remember, I was seeing "one and a half of everything" according to a post underneath this one). Two Weeks ago, it was the Optician who told me that the Optical Doctor computed the numbers wrong, the numbers that resulted in that erroneous prescription. At least that's the way I understood it, although I can be a blockhead and misunderstand things.

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The eye-intern lady sent me back over to the Optical side of the operation. I then spoke with the same Lady Optician that I spoke with 2 weeks ago. And once again, she was talking about Prisms that have to be put into the eyeglasses in order to correct my vision, and how terribly far apart my eyes were in terms of function, and how They Just Couldn't Do What I Wanted. I told her that, what with all this vision equipment and qualified eye doctors and opticians, all I was hearing from the clinic was No, No, No. No, this isn't gonna work. No, we can't do that. No, your eyes are so messed up that we can't, Can't, CAN'T can't make you the eyewear that you need based upon what you've told us you want, which is, I Want A Pair Of Glasses I Can Use EVERYWHERE.

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I was told This Just Couldn't Be Done. Since the first part of April, I've bounced back and forth like a ping-pong ball, between the eye doctors and the opticians. Each time, I've been given hope that I could get what I needed as I seemed to find out something "new" each time I went in for consultation. They were gonna re-examine me today, I was gonna have new, spiffy glasses in another couple of weeks, but today it was no, No, NO. Nope. Negatory. Nix-Nix. No Way, Jose. You get the picture. So today, I finally exercized The Final Solution, which was quite severe. After speaking with the optician (who is a very, very nice lady), I told her the only thing I could do was to just cut my losses, get my money refunded, and just leave. Which is what happened. I've had a tough financial year, and the money I spent at the Eye Clinic Really Set Me Back. So I'll get a check for $720 dollars from them in a couple of days, and then we'll be DONE.

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Done? Huh? What? Of course not. Did you think this was gonna be EASY??? Just before I left, I told the Optician Lady about a pair of no-line bifocals I had made 5 or 6 years ago; glasses that worked great. Thing is, they're almost too scratchy to see out of (doggone plastic lenses). But I can still use 'em for distance. Plus the lens tint cuts down on glare. So, I put on this old pair of glasses, kept my eyes focused on one location, moved my head up and down and could see perfectly out of 'em, near and far. I'd still be using 'em if they weren't so badly scratched. (Never, EVER, clean plastic lenses with your shirt! And, keep 'em away from BEACH SAND!) The Optician-lady then told me she wondered how those glasses could've been made with my eyes being so bad. She wants to examine that old pair Just To See How It Was Done. So I asked her, "what, maybe you could make me a pair of new glass lenses from those old glasses, I was told, "probably not". Not a "nope" but not a "yes" either. I still wonder, if those glasses were made for me then, why can't similar glasses be made for me NOW? You know, what with technology advancing and all that. Is technology NOT advancing with the passing of time? Maybe we're all being fooled...

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The dust has settled. I am back to wearing the old glass-glasses I got a few years before the plastic-lens bifocals (referred to in the preceding paragraph). I can actually read with the distance-only glass-lenses; all I have to do is put a pair of 5-dollar Reading glasses on my nose along with my old "glass" glasses, and, voila, Instant Closeup Vision! Maybe if I tilt my head just right, my head could receive radio signals, what with all this extraneous metallic-framed eyewear? Anyway, as far as the Eye Clinic is concerned, I'm sure The Answer Is Out There, but I Just Don't Know What or Where It Is. It's as if I'm not asking quite the Right Question, and face it, if ya don't know how to question something, you won't find out any more about it.

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After proofreading this, I'm thinking that whoever came up with "The Peter Principle" got it right. According to that axiom, The Human Race is as good as it Ever Will Be, and that we, collectively, are now on the downhill side of things and with the advancing of technology, we'll only get worse and worse. So there ya go. The Eyes Have it. No, wait, they don't.