THE ANNOUNCER WHO NEVER DIES...
...this time he wants me to buy the Jupiter Jack!
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Oh my gosh. It's the Resurrection. And it's not even Easter yet. How long ago did Billy May depart this planet? He IS dead, right? Maybe he's in an underground bunker somewhere where no irate customers who've bought more stuff than they'll ever use due to the persuasion power of the Loudest Announcer Ever can get at him for beating them in the eardrums with his incessant urging them to buy this or that or whatever else. Billy Mays was never a very slick salesman. No subtle exercises in mental manipulation did he ever employ. What he did was beat his customers over the head (aiming for their ears) with his message, "Buy! BUY! BUY!!! AND THEN BUY SOME MORE!!!"

So Billy's selling the Jupiter Jack; I saw it, I really did saw it (oops; I'm sounding like Tweety Bird here...ahem)...anyway, in this commercial, Billy tests out the system thusly as he drives his gas-hog down the turnpike:

Rrrrring!!!. Billy's secretary calls him. "HI, IT'S BILLY!!!"
SECRETARY: (wincing due to Billy's harsh voice) "Billy, we need you this afternoon for a pre-production meeting."
BILLY MAY: "SOUNDS GREAT; WHAT TIME IS THE PRODUCTION MEETING?"
... the secretary cannot stop the ringing in her ears...and then yells over the phone:
SECRETARY: "BILLY, YOU NEED TO BE HERE BY 2 P.M. CAN YOU BE HERE?"
BILLY MAY: "OF COURSE I CAN BE THERE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL!!!"
SECRETARY: (ears still ringing) "WHAT? WHAT? WHAT???" BILLY, ARE YOU STILL THERE?"
BILLY MAY: "CARLA, SPEAK UP! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!!!" I CAN HARDLY HEAR YOU!!!"
(It should be noted here that Billy long ago contracted severe tinntinnitus thru his own skull, since he speaks so loudly.)
SECRETARY: (screaming louder than ever) "WHAAAA? WHHHAT? ALL OF A SUDDEN I CAN'T HARDLY UNDERSTAND YOU!!!" (her eardrums are sizzlin' now...)
BILLY MAYS: "I SAID...ER....NEVER MIND..." Billy then thinks to himself, "WHY CAN'T I SEEM TO GET MY MESSAGE ACROSS ANYMORE? WHAT'S WRONG WITH EVERYBODY???"
It's at this point Billy gets pulled over by the State Patrol. Billy's charged with distracted driving, plus breaking a noise ordinance. Not for a bad muffler or excessive radio volume; it had to do with the State Trooper hearing Billy's voice a half-mile away. Needless to say, the commercial had to be done over again. His secretary was using ear plugs the next time around. It should be noted here that people who talk, even handless, over their cellphones are Still "Distracted Drivers" and hands-free cellphones are not that much safer.

I watched an old Mariners' game (from July '09) this evening, and what I think happened was that Fox Sports Northwest played the game, with all the old commercials left in as a way to chew up broadcast time, since the network has nothing else to do now that the Olympics, and the NFL season are all over with. And the NBA is not an option with me. So, FSN played it safe by airing old Mariners games, since people like me salivate whenever we hear that Mariners' baseball anthem shocking us all out of our Sports Withdrawals. Baseball! Yeah! Just Crack That Bat and I'll be tuned in! Even with Rick Rizzs' ceaseless unrelenting constant without-a-pause broadcasting style, I'm ready. Come on, Baseball, Get With It! I'll even spring for the Rye Bread and Mustard...GO! GO! GO! Excuse me for a moment...wiping the drool off my chin before it shorts out my computer keyboard...
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Looking over this posting, it's probably an unnecessary and superfluous bit of communication. Good thing the Federal Communications Commission doesn't preside over cyberspace. Yet.