OLYMPIC BLOG-POSTING:
...an event whose time has come!!!
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There would be several different events comprising the Olympic Blog-Posting event. First, there would be the Typing Speed Trials. I do 75 words a minute. There are those who are faster; a lady told me years ago she could do 120. That's virtually superhuman. But I wouldn't be out of the competition just yet...Next up, there would be a grammar competition, with too many semicolons and quotations detracting from the overall score. I don't use semicolons a lot; sometimes they help me to organize thoughts; but I would have to exercise caution. Too many punctuational marks are overused; phraseology, in--and of--itself...needs to become more streamlined. So all I can say to that is "I'll Try". Then, there would be another competition for continuity of thought. No rambling, no hackneyed usage of cliches, and graceful transitions of logic from one sub-topic to the next. I think Richard Nixon would've made a great blogger. He was always trying to make One Thing Perfectly Clear. Finally, in the Olympic originality competition, each entrant would have to be careful not to mix metaphors; that "can't" happen; if it did, The Olympic Blogger would find A Stitch in time would put he/she on a slippery slope, spoiling the stew. And we just can't have that. Uh-oh; was that last thing a sentence fragment? In competition I would be docked for that too, as well. Er?
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SOMETHING ELSE BESIDES THE OLYMPICS: I don't know if this happens a lot to everyone else, but I've always wondered: If I go into a store to get a Pepsi or whatever, and then get back in my car, I'll work all the mirrors so I can see what's around me, to the left, to the right, and in back of me. Nothing. Coast clear. So I'll put the jalopy into reverse, and begin to back up, and THAT'S when people decide to swerve into the parking lot, barely missing me, and THAT'S when pedestrians come from out of nowhere to traipse in back of my car. Honest to God, I could be out in the middle of the Sahara Desert with no one around me for thousands of square miles, and if I put the car into reverse out there, I'm sure a motorist or pedestrian or perhaps someone riding a Camel would Try To Get Me To Hit Them. Have you ever seen the bumper sticker that says, "Hit me, I need the Money"? Is there an economic slant to all this? Maybe everyone's on a mission to test out My Insurance and reap the benefits of a collision? Close-calls when I'm backing up happen to me Several Times A Week. Is it just me? On another note, I've lived in Coos Bay for over 3 years now, and their numerous one-way streets Still Confuse Me. It's easy for me to get Lost In This Small Town. So you don't need to tell me to Get Lost. I already AM.
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NOW, BACK TO THE OLYMPICS: Am I burned out from Too Much Olympics Yet? Judge for yourself: I've long said that I Will Never Watch Soccer, no matter how much everyone tries to jam the sport down my throat. Too many players running pell-mell around the field in every direction, not being able to use their hands which only complicates the game. A typical team might score 1 or 2 goals in a three hour period, and yawn...but not wanting to have a closed mind, I did watch Olympic Hockey the other day. Hockey features Too Many Players skating pell-mell around the rink in every direction, with the slippery-ness of the ice replacing Soccer's "no-hands" awkwardness, and yawn...so, I guess I can't watch Hockey either. Later on, I saw a skating event which totally confused me. There were close to 20 or 30 skaters from several teams on the ice, and as a player exited the rink for the space in the center, another skater would zip out and replace him. Sometimes, a skater from a certain team would venture out onto the track, and grab the rear-end of one of his team-mates, pushing him forward. Hopefully the lead skater has no Unwanted Gas And Bloating (Break out the Beano). This Important Olympic Update: The U.S. beat Canada in Hockey. Yaay. Whoopee. I'll try to curb my enthusiasm. Right now, my eyes are glazing over as I try to make sense of Olympic Ice Dancing. That said, my heart goes out to the young Canadian lady ice-dancing right now. Her Mom died of a heart attack yesterday. She'd come to Vancouver to see her daughter compete. That is So Sad.
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I have an idea formaking the Olympics more relevant to all of us who used to be kids, and I think it would be great fun to watch. Ready? How about Olympic Snowball-Fighting? I could really get into that! And perhaps, an Olympic Snowman-building event...
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