WILD TALES FROM THE CYBERSPACE TAR-PITS...
...or, How Do I Get Hooked Into These Things Anyway?
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BLOGGER ALERT: This is post 900 here on this blogsite. It's taken me close to 6 years (SIX YEARS???) to get this far. Through that time, I've amassed 3 or 4 faithful readers, and I thank you all for visiting. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You. There; that's 4 Thank-you's. That should cover it.
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Well, I missed my Posting Deadline...the previous post, my first of the week, was Friday night. I really tried to get to this here blogsite before midnight Saturday, but I even missed that goal. I've been trying to post twice a week, and, well, I fell short. I've been in the midst of dubbing Albums I Don't Really Care if I keep forever, and have gotten so carried-away with that, my posting deadline came and went, and I keep wondering, where's the time gone? The answer to that would probably be, the time has slipped by at 33 and a-third Revolutions per minute. Although sometimes it slips away at either 45 or 78rpm. Depends on what I'm dubbing.
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And, now, to the wide, wacky world of Cyberspace...A friend of mine sent me an e-mail with an odd subject line, "I didn't invite you." Huh? What? Her message referred to junk e-mails that say, "Someone has tagged your e-mail". I guess all kinds of nasty things come attached with those things, so for heavens' sake, don't open 'em. I'm still getting e-mails from Every Single Country In The World, saying that I've won the big grand lottery prize that's been awarded to me thru an 'Internet Sweepstakes' or some such thing, and that I'm 'sposed to get in touch with Doug Thomas, or Paul Richard or whoever. What's unusual is that most of the time, I'm supposed to contact someone with Two First Names, sorta like Frank Leonard or Robert Edward. So beware of people with two first names...they probably don't exist. Although, the broadcasting industry is full of them. If a Dee-Jay tells you his name is "Joe Arnold", for example, you can safely assume his real name is Joe Arnold Cosnowfitowich or some such other unprounounceable moniker. But I'm straying off-topic...IF I've really won money, all they have to do is send me a check, and I'll cash it. But for some reason, it's never that simple. Hey, I love money and I'd love to be stinking filthy rich. But I sense "scam" with all of these supposed lottery winnings. You notice how those lotteries are in Spain or England, or the Western Bloc or Timbuktu, but Never Here In The States? I won't even buy from Foreign Countries on Ebay, let alone send money to a foreign country to free-up money I've supposedly won. Bah Humbug!
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Anyway, there sure is a lot of junk which travels up, down, and through the internet. I keep getting offered Gift Cards from "Victoria's Secret", although I'm sure nothing I'd buy from them would fit me (well, maybe the 'plus sizes' would), but since I don't look good in silk and lace, I think I'll pass on that, thank you. I also get e-mails which want me to claim my Free Laptop Computer! I got roped into that once and neverrrr again. Beware! If you decide to take the bait, you'll be taken to a page that has 72 special offers everything that you will never need, but you're required to select At Least One. So you think yer done? Not quite...for you will then be taken to another page, with 175 special offers for merchandise, services, whathaveyou, and you'll have to select at least 17 of them. The next page takes you to more offers, which take you to Still More Offers...the time I got suckered in by that scheme, I'd been online an Hour and a Half, Still filling in offers, With No End In Sight! So I decided to leap out of Computer Purgatory then and there. I can just imagine an old Aged Man, who's been online for 75 years, accepting offers left, right, front and center All In Hopes that he's acquiring a New Free Computer. That is, if he ever gets to the END of all those maddening "special offers".
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Never thot I'd admit this, but I've going to Facebook (a social networking site) quite a lot lately; it started when all of a sudden, a bunch of high school classmates of mine sent me Facebook Notices saying They Wanted To Be My Friend...which was initially difficult for me to accept, seeing as how they didn't want or care to be my friend All Those Years Ago. Once you get hooked onto Facebook, you get all sorts of e-mails saying that "Melvin Bungeemeister (made-up name) or whoever commented on something you wrote, so click this link to go and leave a reply!" Multiply that activity by 10 or 15 (I think I might have that many friends), and all of a sudden, Facebook becomes something akin to cyberspace quicksand, 'cos you get sucked in, and all of a sudden you've been on Facebook for 3 hours, and it's past your bedtime! Speaking of Social Networking (which Facebook is), there's another TV commercial running these days saying "Social Networking is out of style". Which might be just as well, since I'm kind-of an Old Crusty Hermit to begin with. Facebook is fun and rather interesting, but so what? A lot of other, more substantial things are, too. And finally...
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...this is what I'm turning into...a Computerosaurus, headed for the tar pits one day. I've been going online since 1997; I've blogged and e-mailed and spent money online; I've done Full System Recoveries when I've had to, I've phone-wrestled with Tech Support People overseas who I can't understand, and I can even give out computer advice to those who know less than I (there aren't many). I'm old now, and I can't run marathons or swim the English Channel or anything like that, but I can still zip away at 75 words-a-minute. That must mean I'm still alive, huh? Little did I think that my High School Typing Class would lead to this...