WHEN IS FAST FOOD NOT FAST FOOD?

...I do think the Madison Avenue ad-forces are messin' with me here...

-

Have you seen the newest "Wendy's" drive-in commercials? They're selling their latest product, whatever that is, and at the end, you hear, "It's Way Better Than Fast Food; It's WENDY'S!" Screeeech. Whoa, boy...hang on thar jes' a minute. Wendy's has a Dollar Menu. Wendy's has a Drive-Thru Window. Wendy's serves up Hamburgers. Wendy's features minimum-wage employees in funky-looking uniforms and visors. Wendy's calls out your number when your order is ready. Wendy's requires you to pay before you get served. Wendy's makes you pour your own soft drinks. Wendy's serves its food, on average, in a Minute and a half. Geeze. I mean, that sure sounds like a Fast-Food Place to Me. Just because they have some sort of Deluxe Sandwich which features pasted-together Chicken Parts or whatever cannot enable Wendy's to escape the Stigma of being a Fast Food Place. Sorry, Wendy's...your advertising logic didn't score with me here.

-

Another chain, "Long John Silver's" serves up Seafood. One of their commercials runs along the lines of, "So Ya Want Lobster, but you think it's too expensive? Try our 'Lobster Poppers' (or whatever their product is called). Now here's the part I don't get...first, a nicely dressed couple is seated in a deluxe restaurant. But, Oh My Gosh, the menu's Prices are too high! Then the commercial crossfades into the same couple, seated in "Long John Silvers", settling for those hard-plastic seats with not enough space for you to sit behind the table comfortably, and the part I REALLY don't get is, She is Really Classy, obviously not the kind of lady who would be content eating in a (well, I've got to say it) Fast-Food Restaurant. Uh, Sorry, Charlie. I don't think that's what you do. If the couple's already married, well, I can see that. You're past the point of making False Impressions You Cannot Live Up To. So You Settle. For "Fast-food".

-

I think if you wanna do the fast-food thing, the best place to go is some sort of Taco Place. You know, like "Taco Bombs" (Taco John's) or "Taco Hell" (Taco Bell). At the local Taco Bell, though, the clerks have no personality; they're always under a rush, no one smiles and order numbers are screamed out incessantly through the speaker system. That Just Fries My Skull. So lately, I've been "settling" for the Drive-Thru Window. That way I can take my Greasy Fast Food and Go Eat It Somewhere, anywhere, at a place that doesn't agitate me.

----------------------------------------

I care about the people, such as yourself, who come to this blogsite and try to figure out if there's any purpose in being here, because my rantings and ravings are so consistently nonsensical. And because I'm grateful to all 3 of my faithful readers, your reward for being such a diligent and self-sacrificing readership is some Eye Candy...a coupla photos for you; hope you enjoy...

-

-
Taken at a local park, I noticed this one seagull acting very peculiarly...it would launch itself off the water, and then take a nose dive. The pond is man-made, only several inches deep, so Mr. Seagull was probably dining on pond scum lurking on the bottom. Blech. Ack. But every time it came up, it was chewing on something, so it must have known something that I didn't. All I can say is, "Eat Hearty". Pond scum? Maybe it's nutritious, but no thanks...

-

-
No, this isn't the Helicopter From Hell...all day long, this Coast Guard Chopper had been performing manuevers with a Coast Guard Boat (not in this photo). What we have here is a case of Fog On The Coast. The air over the sea is colder than the air over the land, and where they collide, There Would Be Fog. Go inland a couple miles and you can get sunburned. On days when land and sea temps are closer, then there's no fog. Anyway, the fog acts like a filter, so You Can Look At The Sun and say, "nyaaah! nyaaah! You Can't Blind Me!"
-

I've posted more photo atrocities at http://www.webshots.com/, under the name 'digitaldave72'. That is where you can see The World According To Me. It's a pretty warped place. But it's not very dangerous. No Pond Scum was harmed during the Posting Of This Post.