Did They Actually Say That on TV???

Oh, my gosh...DON'T LOOK, ETHEL!!!

It's been a while since I've watched Network TV on any kind of regular basis...I have to admit I'm a big fan of "CSI: Miami", although Horatio Caine's character involves him speaking in a low, scratchy monotone All Of The Time; you know, like the characters in the old 'Dragnet' TV show might employ. All hell breaks loose in the Miami Crime Lab, and Horatio is all So Very Serious: "We'll get through this. It looks like someone's taking a Bite Out Our Crime Lab...well, We're Biting Back...". So, I am watching not only the old CSI: Miami shows on A&E, I'm also watching Monday Nights when the newest shows air on the CBS Television Network. To make sure I don't forget to tune in at 10PM Monday night, I switch over to CBS earlier so I won't forget to Go To CBS later. I don't watch the two sitcoms before "CSI: Miami", and even though I don't watch those shows, "Two and a half men" and "Rules of Engagement", I am amazed by them just the same. By my own conservative estimate, 85% of the dialogue during the Monday Nite 9pm-10pm hour on CBS refers to sex happening now, or sex that is going to happen, sex that just happened, or sex that happened long, long ago. The other 15% of that hour is, of course, taken up by commercials. Blahhh...
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It doesn't matter if it's gay sex, straight sex, or sex with the teacher, sexual fantasies, sexual innuendo or blatantly obvious sexual chatter; during that hour (9PM to 10PM), you'll get more than your share of TV sex, even if you're not paying attention to the shows, like I wasn't. And these are situation COMEDIES? They're not even FUNNY! And still, the Network drapes it all in Canned Laughter, which is the network's way of saying, "hey, you're supposed to laugh now, even if you don't want to." I've seen my share of TV shows that dealt with sex, but at least the sexual stuff was done in a classier way, with plot twists, complications, and those shows at least appreciated the intellect of the viewer by not immersing the script in the gutter. In contrast, it's almost as if every line of (at least) these two TV shows has to be draped in sex, directed toward sex, loaded with sex, or immersed in sex. And, if the writer can sneak in the name of an actual body part, so much the better these days (?). Look, I'm no prude, but I don't go for the Lowest Common Denominator either. Have you noticed this trend in the sitcoms you watch? I haven't watched sitcoms on a regular basis for several years now. And, my, How things have changed.

I'm giving up Coffee, at least for a while. So far, it's been Five Days since I indulged in the mighty Essence of the Coffee Bean. I feel like I've been getting really 'jittery' lately after concentrated coffee drinking. Of course, that also involves Soft Drinks, and all I can say is, I'm gonna miss my Pepsi; it's a buddy that's been with me a long time, and I love the stuff. So when I need my carbonation-fix, I guess it's gonna be Root Beer, or Cream Soda, both of which have no caffeine. (Be sure and read the labels for a brand without Caffeine!) Since I won't drink diet pop, they're not "less filling", har-harrrr. So what do you think I read in the newspaper today, of all days? The day I realized I hadn't had caffeine in 5 days, so today I Made My Decision to quit caffeine. An article spouted the headline, "A Cup of Joe Can Be Good For You", and went on to say that people who drank coffee were less prone to get all sorts of mean, nasty, ugly things. It specifically said that if people Smoked and Drank, Caffeine would lower their percentage of coming down with certain maladies, which was something I wasn't prepared for. And, I'm shocked.

So should I now go back to caffeine? And, should I start smoking, so that the caffeine will block all the stuff I'd get if I only consumed caffeine but didn't smoke? No, I'm standing my ground. No caffeine for a while. And no cigarettes, either. Not only am I Highly Opposed to them, even if I was inclined to smoke, but Cigarettes Ain't Cheap These Days, which oughta be incentive enough to force Millions, if not Billions, of people to quit. Even the Generic-cheapo cigarettes, which hopefully yet aren't constructed out of recycled tissue paper, are up and over 3 bucks a pack. That's all my budget needs at this point in time. I also never understood how people can smoke 2, 3 or more packs a day. I must admit long ago that I tried lighting up. Ack. WHO DUMPED THE CHARCOAL IN MY MOUTH? I couldn't inhale at all. My lungs boarded themselves shut, and That Was The End Of That. That was in 1976. I smoked (or tried to) for One Late Evening, while staying up all night studying for College Final Exams. Let's just say I got crazy and leave it at that. How about that. Corrupted by Higher Learning.

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How about one more little thing that Flew In From Left Field and made me shake my head...you've heard about the Auto Company Bail-outs? How about this: It's been reported that Auto Companies who've Taken Bail-outs are finding that their Sales are dropping. Why? Because they took the bail-out!!! I wasn't ready for that one. So, NOTHING'S WORKING!!! And I know President Obama is doing his best, but more and more, it's looking like the Automakers are gonna have to just sort this one out for themselves. Maybe someday this country will look like Downtown Havana, Cuba...a scene littered with old-beater-dinosaur-falling-apart vehicles. If auto sales are slowing down in the U.S., which they ARE, that means people will be hanging to their old klunker-cars for longer and longer. MY car is 10 years old, but it's a Dodge Intrepid, so it still looks fairly cool. But how about that...helping an industry is hurting it at the same time. John Lennon said it well..."Nobody Told Me There'd Be Days Like These...Strange Days Indeed".

Is it just me, or is the world getting crazier as time goes on? It sure feels that way. And after proofreading this post and digesting the subject matter, the words of a 1975 Paul Simon song came to mind...

I sit by myself and I watch the cars...I fear I'll do some damage one fine day...
But I would not be convicted by a Jury of my peers...Still Crazy After All These Years...