I guess I got stuck on 'Stupid'...
Does Anybody Really Know what time/date it is?

Have you ever done that? You lost a day...? For some reason, I thought that yesterday, Sunday, was today, Monday. Maybe I've had my mind on a lot of things, but it's rare that I've been This Clueless. Wanna know how bad it got? Here goes: My Garbage Day is Monday. So every Sunday night, I have to wheel the Plastic Garbage Container, supplied benevolently by the Garbage Company, to the curb so that the Garbage Man can do his thing in the wee-small hours of Monday Morning. That would be today...Monday (I'm repeating that for me). But as I said before, I Lost A Day Somewhere.

So what did I do? I put the garbage out on Saturday night, thinking it was Sunday night. And then, on Sunday, I went to a coffeehouse here which features a Drum Circle I go to on Monday nights (Monday: That would be today). The Coffeehouse is closed on Sundays. But since I thought Sunday was Monday, I waited for over an hour for someone to show up and open the place. I thot maybe the Coffeehouse owners had personal reasons for not being open on What I Thought Was Monday. And I went back home, still thinking it was Monday, although it was actually Sunday.

"Huh? What?", you must be thinking. I'm kinda thinking that, too. Thinking that today was Tuesday, I went into town, first stopping at another coffeeshop I go to. Well, It was closed. Harrumph! After all, THAT Coffeeshop is always closed on Mondays, but is always open on Tuesday, and, I, of course, thot today was Tuesday, and wondered, "why aren't they open?" By this time I was really getting confused, though; two Coffee Shops which I thot should have been open were closed on successive days. Still thinking today was Tuesday, I ended up at a restaurant, which is open 24/7, so that didn't help me either in terms of determining what day it actually was. Ah, but I bought a copy of today's paper, the dateline of which read "Monday, March 9th." Huh? What?

To add to this mess, my wristwatch read "Monday March 10th", so I really began to get confused. Setting the date on an analog watch is kinda tricky; evidently I'd put in the wrong date or day of the week when re-adjusting the watch because the Month of February ends on the 28th, not the 30th or 31st. It was about this time my brain began spinning out of control...Monday or Tuesday? March 9th or 10th? And then it hit me..."I think I've lost a day, here..." I went back home, and sure enough: The Garbage cart I'd put out on what I thought was Sunday Night (which actually was Saturday night) had been taken back to its place in back of my house on Sunday, which I thot was MONDAY. And of course when the Actual Monday Morning rolled by, my garbage cart wasn't out at curbside for the Garbage Man, and he wasn't about to step outside his truck and go looking for it. So my Garbage Cart sits there, right now, full of last week's garbage until it gets picked up Next Monday, by which time I should be on The Right Day. One can hope.

By this time, my brain was a-buzzin'. Still not quite believing it was Tuesday instead of Monday, when I got home, I Wasn't Sure of What Time It was. I needed to find out. Because after all, the Drum Circle meets tonight (I Hope), and I had to find out what time it was so I wouldn't be late. Of course, I didn't want to ask anyone what time it was, because it's really important for me Not To Look Stupid in the eyes of others. (Too late for that, huh?) You can also factor in, that the switch to Daylight Savings Time occurred just this past weekend. By this time, I was Really Getting Confused. And no, I don't take mind-altering drugs. Long story: My VCR/DVD player receives the correct time automatically over its cable connection. It had been off by one hour since a power outage over a year ago. Today, I noticed it read the same time that all my adjusted clocks, as well as wristwatch, read. Evidently my VCR/DVD unit got correctly adjusted after the latest time change. But I initially thought the unit was still off by an hour. So, I thot there was a possibility, if the time was correct on my VCR/DVD unit, that all my clocks and my watch were off by an hour. As you can tell, this was fast becoming a weird sort-of 'time warp' day...

Well, after mulling over all the possibilities, and not knowing anyone I could bother for the Correct Time, all of a sudden, a thot came in thusly to my brain: "Hey, Idiot, You've got the TV sitting in front of you; maybe you can get the Correct Time THERE." That thought, for me was akin to Einstein coming up with E=MC2, by the way. I found Northwest Cable News, headquarted in Seattle, thus in my time zone, and so I at last not only know what day it is, I now know the correct time. I think. Well, I'd better go now; the drum circle meets in 45 minutes...I think!


An artist's rendering of Forgetful-Me. Does anybody really know what time it is?

I think I've come down with a sudden case of PSFD, known otherwise as Premature Senior Forgetfulness Disorder; either that or I'm just plain-old-Stuck On 'Stupid'. And why am I all of a sudden hearing the strains of the "Twilight Zone's" opening theme? Ack!