Friday, January 23, 2009

Of Baseball and Dentures...
...The Seattle Mariners have brought it all together...

Would you shell out Mega-bucks for a lemon? Of course you wouldn't. And if you've got a car that keeps breaking down, time after time, and it begins to become a headache, at which time you've spent more money on aspirin than the car's worth, you get rid of it, right? Well, I'm thinking that Baseball Pitchers should be purchased in much the same way a CAR is. Especially if that Pitcher is Eric Bedard of the Seattle Mariners. He's signed a one-year deal for 7.75 MILLION dollars. Plus, additional monetary incentives kick in once he pitches 150 innings. This is the same Eric Bedard who removed himself from games last year because he was TIRED, the same Eric Bedard who was on the Disabled List much of last year, and who basically had a lousy attitude all of last season, the season in which He Was All Set To Make A Difference, except that he didn't. He sat out most of the games last year. And the M's management is paying him $7.75 MILLION DOLLARS to at least do what he did last year, which was basically NOTHING. If he gets a blister, or maybe a sunburn, if he suffers 'dry-eye' on the mound, if a hangnail hampers his pitching, all he has to do is say "Coach, take me out; I can't go any longer". If he only does THAT, he'll make the better part of 8 Million Dollars. And you wonder why fans are growing more and more disillusioned with the Seattle Mariners. They won't break .500 again this year.

True, the M's need pitching; I've always said that. What they don't need is a bad pitcher with an attitude problem, such as is the case with Prima Donna Eric Bedard. And you wonder why the little baseball near my blog profile (down a little ways in the left margin) looks like a Mister Yuk Sticker with Stitches. Bah. I just don't see the M's assembling something looking like a winning season anytime soon. On the bright side, young pitching ace Felix Hernandez is also coming back, although ironically, he, the better pitcher, is making substantially less than Eric Bedard this season. The M's are also trying to turn Brandon Morrow, he of the flaming 100mph fastball, into a Starting Pitcher. In short, Morrow has to learn to throw more different kinds of pitches, develop the stamina needed to go 7-plus innings, and pace himself, for, unlike being a closing pitcher, a hotshot starting pitcher Cannot Throw Every Ball As Hard As He Can or he'll exhaust himself and throw out his elbow or shoulder (or both) seriously out of joint. So, the M's pitching staff is full of possibilities, but...the same could be said for this team at this point LAST year. Hmmm; if Brandon's shoulder goes out of joint, that'll match Eric's Nose...out-of-joint. Should be an interesting '09 season. So now, at least, you know why I haven't installed some Really Clever Baseball Picture into this post. The 'Frowning Baseball With Tongue Sticking Out' in the lower-left margin of this blogsite will, again, sum up The Seattle Mariners' Baseball Season. Harrumph...
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I almost freaked out: This week, I had five more teeth pulled, my gums stitched back up, and "doink!" an immediate temporary lower denture plate was popped in my mouth, and now I'm sitting here trying to get used to it, which is a tall order, 'cos I'm still not used to the Uppers I got LAST month. All that remains of my own teeth, two, will serve as fenceposts that my lower denture is fastened around. I told the dentist I almost freaked out at the prospect of getting my lower teeth pulled, to which he quipped, "Worry is the interest you pay on tomorrow's problems". That's all I need; a philisophical dentist when I'm looking for sympathy. Nope, none of that to be had. And it's the price I'm paying for not listening to my Mom when she told me to brush my teeth. It's my fault. I know that. The anticipation of it all was worse than the actual teeth-pulling; it was the realization that I would be losing all but Two of the Rest Of My Teeth, Forever. And with that, I've passed a stage of sorts...

I Am Now Officially Old. I'm now at the age where I can Flap My Gums. Guess I'd better put Poli-Grip on the ol' shopping list. But in the aftermath of it all, I'm glad to have it all done. Well, almost all. Those two remaining teeth need to be Crowned. Gold Crowns, maybe? With Gold Prices as high as they are, it's too bad I won't be able to pop my remaining teeth in and out of my mouth I could take 'em to the Pawn Shop for a loan whenever I need the money. And I bought Denture-Cleaning tablets for the first time. When you pop one into the Denture Water, it sort-of explodes, kinda like when someone feeds an Alka-Seltzer tablet to a seagull and the bird explodes mid-flight. "SQUAWK!" No, no, no, I'm not advocating violence towards animals. No creatures were harmed in the posting of this blog. Finally, before I to end this post 'cos if I keep going, things'll get any more ludicrous (if that's even possible), one more observation:
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For a moment there, I was wondering what each of the two subjects in this post have to do with each other. And, lo, yea, verily, I found they were cosmically conjoined thusly: Watching or Listening to the Seattle Mariners slog their way thru another losing season...is gonna be like PULLING TEETH...

2 Comments:

Blogger MarmiteToasty said...

We went to watch the Portland Seadogs Baseball Team when we was in Maine, how confusing is that game to learn lol.... the best bit was watching grown blokes run around the pitch in what looked liked Pjammies lol...... we have a similar game over here but its called 'Rounders' and its mostly played by girls in school lol

My mother had all her teeth pulled at 55, so ya aint old and if it was best for your needs then so be it :).... dont make me have to call you gummy LOL ;)

x

3:38 AM  
Blogger some guy who blogs said...

Hi, Marmee...concerning teeth, women who write personal adverts seeking a mate often specify that a man have his own teeth. Well, these teeth are my own! I paid for em, after all!

Baseball Jammies? I suppose Baseball makes as much sense to you as Rugby does to me...I can't figure that game out at ALL. You evidently saw a 'farm team', which is a lower-level baseball squad which gives young players experience so they someday can play in the major leagues and make more money in five minutes than you or I will ever make in ten lifetimes...

10:32 PM  

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