Friday, December 05, 2008

So he was found guilty of Something at last...
The Sad-Sack Saga of O.J. Simpson...

I try to post at least twice a week in this blogsite, and this week, I was running out of blogging ideas. I've already blogged twice recently about music, so that topic's getting kinda old. I could blog about politics, but I've done that enough already, too. All of a sudden, Friday rolled around and I was, like, WHAT AM I GONNA POST? ACKTHPTF!!!!! And then, all of a sudden, yea verily, like Manna from Heaven (or Hell), O.J. Simpson came along and saved my blogger's behind. THANKS, MAN! Now I can keep my blog all fresh n' timely!
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It all began last night when I looked up from my computer long enough to hear over the TV that O.J.'s sentencing would be today. Oh yeah? And then when I awoke this morning, Lo and Behold, when I switched on MSNBC, his sentencing hearing was already underway. Obviously, it was my destiny to write this post. Who am I to argue with fate? So, like a mosquito drawn to one of those bug-zapper things, I Just Had To Post This. I had no control. And, this post is what happened. So you call me Reckless? Not as Reckless as the subject of this post...

Everyone knows O.J. committed double-murder back in '94; even the Jurors who found him Not Guilty know it. Basically, O.J.'s blood was spread all over Los Angeles County, but instead, somehow the Police Department found itself on trial, and O.J., the Man Without A Conscience, regained his freedom, free to chip golf balls whenever his fancy struck. He could leave bloody gloves all over his property if he wanted, or perhaps go for long, lazy interstate freeway excursions, he laying behind the back seat with a gun pointed at his head while his best buddy drove the Ford Bronco to Brentwood or wherever else.

With his new-found freedom, O.J. migrated to Florida, where all (or most) of his assets were evidently safe from the clutches of the Goldman Family, who had successfully Sued him in a civil case. I guess, though, that someone had somehow procured some of O.J.'s memorabilia, so O.J., along with His Own Personal Mafiosos, went to Nevada to get it back. The big problem for O.J., though, was that guns were brandished and people were coerced, and someone could have been killed, and all sorts of mean, nasty ugly stuff. In Nevada, taking back even Your Own property whilst threatening people with a gun is a big No-No.

And so, it turns out in best ironic fashion, that O.J. is guilty, and going to prison, for stealing a few footballs with signatures on them and other relatively worthless trinkets; he, the same guy who killed his wife and her friend two years ago, and even though his blood was intermingled with theirs, got off Scot-Free back in 1995. And so, he was sentenced today, to at least Nine Years In Prison, if not a Whole Lot More Years In Prison. I've just gotta say "THANK YOU, O.J. Simpson, for providing me with Something To Blog About!" In return, I've come up with a Great New Idea for mass-marketing your image, should you win an appeal and get out on, say, 32 quadrizillion dollars' bail...hope you like it!
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He'll be a-runnin'-for-daylight should he visit the Prison Exercise Yard...

2 Comments:

Blogger MarmiteToasty said...

I thought the story of OJ and his memorabilia was just the run of the mill thing with nabbings and guns that happen everyday in the states.... or do I just watch to much telly LOL

x

6:00 AM  
Blogger some guy who blogs said...

Well, Marmee...seeing as how OJ, a former professional football star, was accused (and acquitted) of killing his own wife & her friend, and then getting trouble with the law AGAIN...yes, we in the States have a lot of criminal activity. Unfortunately, OJ is probably the dumbest criminal of all. So, all that's big news over here...

9:04 PM  

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