Obtuse Observations...
...a case where the 'ruminations' aren't all that 'atmospheric'...

Here's a bunch of obtuse observations which have been bouncing around in my vast cranial cavity for some time now. Like that funny Coors Light commercial says, "LET'S VENT!!!" Posts like this are easy to write...although reading this stuff can be a real chore...

THE SAGA OF "D-ROD": A New York City newspaper is publishing all kinds of stuff about Alex Rodriguez (The $252-million--and quite possibly more--baseball player) and his wife getting Divorced. The papers referred to him as "D-Rod". Paul McCartney, take note: Alex had a pre-nup written into the ol' marriage contract. Still, Paul McCartney has more money than Alex can ever hope to have. But it seems like Alex has a little more sense? Then again, I don't have any Alex Rodriguez records in my collection. So what can I derive from this? I have Two Words for them both: STAY SINGLE.

HE SHOULD TAKE A ONE-WAY TRIP OVER THERE: Prezzident Georgie W. Bushed is trying to arrange some sort of summit with Chinese Leaders, which probably has something to do with promoting such things as personal freedom, human rights, and compassion for the people, things of which China has None Whatsoever. A radio show which Spews all kinds of Political stuff, which I happened to hear, said the Chinese Leaders are thinking, "why would we want to have a summit with a Prezzident who has less than 200 Days Left In Office?" (See countdown clock, off to your left.) Georgie W. Bushed...Lamest of the Lame. Quack, quack.

WELL, I THINK IT'S FUNNY EVEN IF YOU DON'T: A quite-radical radio show I was listening to today had ideas for bumper stickers you would put on Someone Else's car...among them, "I HATE COPS"...the perfect sticker to have when an officer pulls ya over...or how about..."I HAVE A REALLY GREAT BODY...it's in the TRUNK." Whoa...that one's kinda severe. Finally, this Third Bumper Sticker is one I've seen around town recently: "My DOG is smarter than your Honor Student." Ain't that a great one? Credit where credit's due; I heard those first-two Bumper Sticker Things on something called "The Donkey Show"; I think it originates on a radio station in Eugene, Oregon, but I'm not sure...I'm becoming a fan of that show, in spite of the fact that it's anchored by a couple of snot-nosed post-Generation-X punks.

THE SEATTLE SOAP OPERA: The Seattle Mariners Did Find yet another way to Lose tonite: Everyone's been griping about how Richie Sexson has been unproductive in the hits/runs department. Well, tonite, he hit a 3-run homer. Congrats, Richie! Trouble was, those were the only 3 Mariner Runs of the Game and they all came in the first inning. And Seattle lost the game, 4-3. So really, the Mariners were Shut Down and Shut Out for the last 7 innings. So, how bad has this season been? Last night, the Mariners ran out of pitchers in a 15-inning game, so a backup CATCHER had to pitch! I almost forgot...the M's DID have one pitcher they didn't use in that game, Arthur Lee Rhodes. Why couldn't he pitch? He said he'd SLEPT on his ARM, and his Poor Widd-O Little Arm Didn't Feel Good. I'll go look for his address so I can send a sympathy card. No, wait, I'll send myself one. After all, I ain't makin' the money he is. HEY! I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA! A soap-opera starring THE SEATTLE MARINERS: "The Young and the Hitless".
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SQUAWK! QUACK, QUACK, QUAAAAACK! What is the difference between a toddler in his 'terrible twos' and a year-old parrot? Basically, none, other than you can leave the Parrot in the cage, 'home alone' and walk away. My little Parrot-boy throws tantrums, stomps around the top of the cage (in his play area), throws stuff on the floor, and even though Pionus Parrots (of which he is one) are supposed to be quiet, he'll bray like a Donkey if he wants something; half the time I don't know what that would be. I think I need a "Parrot Whisperer." This could take a while to figure out; after all, parrots don't ever really Grow Up, but then again, some people never do either. I think I'd rather try to figure out parrots at this point. I don't know. It's a toss-up.

IT'S NOT EXACTLY EDUCATIONAL TV: I'm watching a TV show which features clips of Dumb Criminals. One such person stole a car, drove away...his car left the freeway shoulder; he proceeded to exit the car and make a run for it, so he leapt out of the car, and the car ran over his THIGH bone, resulting in the Most Painful Bone-break known to man. Even the disastrous, humiliated, conspiratory former figure-skater Tonya Harding, one of the program hosts, was smart enough to ask, "why didn't he STOP the car first?" And co-host Danny Bonaduce, something of a Train Wreck himself, agreed with Tonya. Hmmm...a TV show with Danny Bonaduce and Tonya Harding agreeing with each other? I think TV has sunk as low as it can go.

NOTHING, INCLUDING THIS, MAKES SENSE: A question about my Yahoo E-Mailbox: When I've read all my in-box e-mails, I click the square that deletes 'em all, and, POOF, they're gone. Then I go over to my Yahoo Junk Mail folder and do the same thing. Only, when I delete my JUNK mail, a little gray square pops up, saying, "Are you sure you want to do that?" Dammit, OF COURSE I do. It's JUNK mail. But...why doesn't this happen when I delete LEGIT mail, which has Personal Value To Me (until I decide to delete it, anyway)? Wouldn't it make more sense for that "Are You Sure" thing to pop up when deleting PERSONAL mail? Hello? Is anyone out there in cyberspace?

I'M TOO ALLERGIC TO COOK METH: I wrote recently about My Bad Hayfever Attack. Here in Oregon, "Sudafed", a strong 'fever med, is only available by prescription. Thanks a lot, all you Meth Cookers out there, for adding More Inconvenience To My Life. I had to double-up on using Less Effective Stuff, which more or less worked. My appointment with my Regular Doctor is TOMORROW. I should ask him if he'll prescribe me some Sudafed. What's the use, tho...the hayfever attack is NOW OVER, due to winds whipping around the coast today. Still, I guess I'll ask him. My appointment will cost the same, whether or not he issues the prescription. Gotta get my money's worth, after all. Make that Doctor Work a little bit. Don't worry; if I don't use the Sudafed for my allergy, I'll keep it for the next attack. After all, I have no underground bunkers full of hayfever meds on my property. Let's see, tho...hmmm...if I go out and get some Clorox bleach, and a few wooden matches, maybe some D-Con and Sulfuric acid...mix 'em all together....KA-BOOOOOM!!! And you thot FIREWORKS were loud...
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Another brand-new post lurks immediately below. How did I find time for two posts in one day? My parrot's sleeping out in the other room, which means the room my computer's kept in is free! I think this works out okay. After all, it's not good when a computer-obsessive like me takes the machine into the bedroom, where a lot of my 4:00 a.m. posts have been written. It's hard to think clearly at 4 a.m. Although I'm not sure I'm doing that now...