Thursday, July 17, 2008

No WONDER WIDGET this year...
Nope, the ol' economic stimulus check won't cover it...

I got a little surprise from the U.S. Government in the mail today. Ulp. Most of the time, surprises from the U.S. Government aren't a good thing, right? Before I opened the envelope, I thot back..."well, yeah, I filed an extension on my Income tax in time to extend it, and yeah, I mailed my taxes in a couple of weeks ago..." so hopefully they don't want any MORE money from me. And as far as I knew, I still had a clean "record", and wasn't wanted for anything; not a single Post Office in the land has my picture on a poster in the front lobby. So I figured I was safe. I opened the envelope, and the piece of paper inside told me to expect $300 coming my way soon, as part of that "economic stimulus" package that is supposed to do me and my fellow countrymen a whole lotta good, seeing as how the economy just kinda "blows" lately; it's basically tanked; things ain't good, but as soon as all this extra Government Money gits back into the system, why, all our troubles will be solved and it'll be Ozzie-and-Harriet time once again, here in the good ol' USA.

I don't just wanna be rich...I wanna be FILTHY rich. Must be nice, huh?

Three Hundred Dollars. Free money, raining down from Heaven! And it's my duty as a taxpayer to go out and SPEND all that money on anything I can think of, 'cos I'll be doing a good deed for my country by injecting the economy with my Three Hundred Dollars. However, isn't this kind-of a 'back to square one' development for our nation? The rising gas prices and correspondingly rising prices in every other sector of our economy will eat up yer Three Hundred Dollars (or how much the Gov't has decided to bless you with) before you get a chance to go to your favorite Mega-Mart and get that Wonder Widget you've had your eyes on for such a long time.

In short, all this extra money we're getting is gonna be used to buy Not Quite As Much As We Could Buy in years past WITHOUT an Economic Injection Check. So yeah, GEORGE W. BUSH, this is nothing more than a band-aid solution, but it's not even's no solution. We're paying close to TWICE as much for gasoline as we used to a coupla years ago. And after a few fill-ups (if indeed anyone can afford to fill-up anymore), that Free Money from the Governmental Money Depot will be nothing more than residual particulate matter in the atmosphere when it's all said and done. In short, the Government is giving us faithful taxpayers a Little Bit Of Money so that we can not-quite-afford price increases in Everything We Have To Buy in order to not go broke quite as soon.

Putting my three-hundred dollars in Perspective: Today I mailed out about $250 dollars worth of Bill Payments in Utilities Alone. The $50 I have left over could be used, perhaps, to (almost) fill up my gas tank. What a coincidence. $300 gone right there and I haven't even been to the grocery store yet. But I think I'll only fill the gas tank halfway, cos I've gotta buy food, after all, and food costs are rising. Or, I'll need new shoes. Or, perhaps, stationery. Or Bird Food. Or, cleaning supplies. Or, whatever else I need, and, of course we already know that all the stuff we all buy is trucked in from somewhere, and fuel prices for those trucks are also rising, and of course, the costs are passed along to the consumer. Yeah, I think my $300 is gonna git absorbed pretty doggone fast. This must be one of those "slippery slopes" that politicians and pseudo-intellectual Talking Heads on News Channels keep referring to. How does the Government come to believe that these economic stimulus checks are indeed a wonder for us all to behold? Simple. They think we're IDIOTS.

By the way, just in case YOU think I'm an idiot, well, I'm not. There is such a thing as a Wonder least in theory...

This little doo-dad is a base cone for a Wonder Widget. I have no idea what its purpose is or how it enhances the Wonder Widget's function, whatever that is...hmmm...come to think of it, I might be an idiot, after all...


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