Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Just for the RECORD...
Guess I have a one-track mind (or two-track, if it's stereo)...
I was having a good day. And actually, the day was good all day long. It's a good thing, though, that I don't have any hangups about my advancing age (although I do wish I was younger, but while I'm at it, I might as well wish for world peace). So, I'm in the "wayback machine", only it's headed in reverse. I just get older and older. My body tells me that every single day. I'll be thinking about doing all kinds of wild things and fantasizing about being a graceful human being and zooming here and rushing there and getting tons of stuff, I make a move to get out of my La-Z-Boy, and as I push off, my knees rage out in aching protest, and if I put my hands on my kneecaps, I can feel the many bones of the knee joint grind together...crunch crunch...creak...kinda like if someone put sandpaper underneath your kneecaps (now, that's a scary thought).
What am I leading up to here? Well, I had to visit the Prescription Place so I wouldn't run out of my daily Gout Medication that I will be taking For The Rest Of My Life, and the young, cute, pert little blonde pharmacy tech (she can't be much over, say, 20), greeted me with her best serving-the-public smile; I told her I should have one prescription ready, and she went back to get she rang me up, she said, "your total is $33.45"...aha, I thought...'33-45, how about that'. So I tried to make a little joke with her, something along the lines of, wow, that's cool...all we need now is '78'. And she stood behind the cash register with a blank expression on her face. I told her, "you know, 33-45-78." And she still just stood there, sorta like a deer caught in the headlights...
So I told her, "you know, as in (phonograph) records." And she STILL stood there, not knowing what I was talking about. By this time I was feeling like Methuslah. I explained, "phonograph records came in three speeds, 33rpm, 45rpm, or 78rpm." "Oh," she said. Well, at least my explanation removed the blank look from her face. And then I thought, 'it must be true; some people will never own, or even SEE, a phonograph record.' You know, RECORDS, as in the flat plastic sound re-producing objects that have been A Very Important Part Of My Life. But the perky little girl and I do have something in common; we both have CD's. You know, CD's, as in Compact Discs, which our local K-Mart Isn't Even Selling Anymore (a fairly recent post below details that below).
And so, I dedicate (remember song dedications on the radio?) (you don't?) the following record to members of Generation X or XI or XIII or whatever this present generation is...a song that very accurately describes how I feel about this entire situation...

"What's the joke?", you might find yourself asking...well, back in 1967, a group called The Youngbloods recorded the song "Get Together" (as in "come on now people, smile on your brother, everybody Get Together, try to love one another right now"). Yep, any song that says THAT kind of stuff has Just Got To Be Old.

Finally, a little bit of levity to end this post...although the Ladies who read it will probably hate me: Two guys were talking about Women, and the first guy says, "she's built like a record player". The second guy says, "how's that?" To which the first guy replied, "you know, 33-45-78"! And, if I have to explain THAT, I'm givin' up!


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