Friday, June 13, 2008

How DUMB does this guy think we are?
...and why does he think anyone would want to buy this?
He's the "Video Professor". He's always saying, "Try My Product". And he breathlessly advertises his video discs which are Supposed To Help You Use The Computer. And his newest addition to the ol' product line is a disc that will tell you Everything About Ebay, How To Buy And Sell your stuff, and Get The Stuff You Want, or Put Some Money In Your Pocket. DOES HE THINK WE'RE ALL FLAMING IDIOTS??? Honestly, if there's someone DUMB ENOUGH out there that they don't know how to use Ebay, they might as well hang it up and Never Touch A Computer Again because He or She is an absolute Cyber-MORON.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet John Scherer, an enterprising sort that is full of ideas, savvy, marketing know-how. Why, he'll help you find out All About Windows, or he'll show you how to Navigate the Internet, or do all kinds of interesting stuff. And he wants to send you a FREE DISC, 'cos he knows that if you learn something, ANYTHING, from his overvalued discs, that you'll want to buy other discs in his series of Rudimentary Remedial Average-Everyday Computer Usage that Anyone Can Perform. "Something FREE???", you ask? "It's too good to be true!", you must be saying to yourself. All he wants is just a lil' ol' fee for Shipping And Handling! So I guess it's not really FREE, rrright? A long time ago (ten years or so), when I thought I needed his free disc to Learn More About Computers, I didn't have a credit card. I called his toll-free number, told the operator I could send a check or money order, and the operator Told Me "No". I didn't have a credit card, you see. WHY SHOULD THAT MATTER AS LONG AS THEY GET THEIR $%&!!! MONEY? I never could figure that out.

Now, I consider MYSELF to be an absolute Cyber-moron, and I figured out how to go on Ebay, Navigate the Internet, and indeed, I did a Total System Recovery earlier this year when a virus took over my computer earlier this year. Doggone it, you just keep pressing computer keys and learn for YOURSELF. You don't need a dumb DISK! Moving around the internet, at first, is sorta like ambling down an unlit passageway; you bump into walls and corners until you arrive at your destination. So, when you're online, you press computer keys and click on things until something happens. It's not rocket science. If you can speak your native language well, you can use a computer, f'cryin' out loud. Mr. Scherer, I'm sorry, but we don't NEED you, OR your discs!

Come to think of it, paying for a disc that teaches you how to use Ebay is sort-of a double-jeopardy thing. First, you're paying for a disc that helps you use Ebay, and then you end up spending thousands of dollars On Ebay. ALL THE STUFF YOU NEED TO KNOW in order to navigate around Ebay IS ON THE EBAY SITE ITSELF! It's THERE! As it is with ANY OTHER WEBSITE. However, as you've undoubtedly found out with all of those bothersome, mailbox-cluttering discs you've been sent by AOL or Earthlink or any other service provider, that actually, computer discs are just the right size for beverage coasters. That would also apply to Video Professor discs..."hey, if yer gonna set that drink down on my teakwood table, set it down thar on that shiny silvery disk, okay?"


This is something I've thought about posting for a long time now. And I managed to do it without the help of the Video Professor. Or his dumb disks. Another new post lurks immediately below this one, by the way. So, if this post hasn't yet given you a migraine, you might as well stick around and read that one while yer here. It may be boring, but at least it's painless...I think...


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