Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Nowhere NEAR a Gas Pump...
...and I STILL came out on the 'short end'...

BLOG UPDATE...Down here on the southern Oregon coast, gas is now $4.05 a gallon. Why do I have this sudden feeling of DOOM? There...that should set the stage for this regularly scheduled blogpost, already in progress...

Today, whilst driving home, I forgot to look at today's gas price when I passed the gas station I usually halfway-fill-up my tank at. Call it a moment of convenient forgetfulness, call it being air-headed, call it ignorant, call it what you want; maybe in the greater sense of things cosmic, the 'forces' were protecting me from yet another psychic assault from the ever-rising per-gallon prices posted on the gas station's readerboard. Yeah, that's gotta be it. Especially since I heard today that Oil was approaching a Record $130 a barrel. As if us consumers weren't 'over a barrel' already...

I was at the Post Office today, when one old guy came into the lobby and he spotted a friend of his, and they began talking about fuel prices; one told the other a joke, which had something to do with cars running on alternate sources of energy. (Can't remember the joke...) I made the mistake of interjecting myself into the conversation, saying that Prezzident Bush wants us all to grind up CORN and fuel our cars with that...and one of the old guys said, "You must be one of those guys who thinks Bush is directly benefitting from rising gas prices", and I said, "well, yeah"...and he said, "name me one case where Bush has profited", and I said, "his whole Family has had interests in Big Oil for Years!"

And you know how he replied to that? He said, "you're just mad because you don't have any OIL STOCKS". I said, "well, those who have oil stocks must be doing really well right now", and he said, "well, yes they are; I know, because I Have Oil Stocks", and laughing, he headed out the door, got into his Unnecessarily Humonguous super-big gas-guzzling monolith of a pickup truck and headed down the road. Kinda ironic, ain't it? Old guys like him, who bought their oil stocks before Water Was Invented, can now Laugh All The Way To the bank. Personally, I kinda thot he was an old Smart-Ass. No wonder I can't stand people sometimes.

I'm seriously contemplating Not Driving 3 or 4 days a week. If we all could do that, who knows, we might then have surplus oil on hand which might lower gas prices. Either that, or all the Surplus would be directed into our country's Current Futile War Effort, with gas prices staying the same (or perhaps still rising) for us motorists. While it's true I've never been held up by someone with a GUN...I've had my wallet cleaned out a few times by folks who wielded the device pictured below...and it's just about as dangerous as a snub-nose .38...



So, how should I end this post? I shall offer the following lyric (with humble apologies to the Memory of George Harrison and The Beatles' song "Taxman"...)
-
Let me tell you how it will be...gas will rise to $4.03...
'Cos I'm the Gas-man...yeahhh, I'm the...Gas-maaaaan....
Should prices rise to $5.04...be glad it doesn't increase more...
'Cos I'm the Gas-man...yeahhh, I'm the...Gas-maaaaan...
-
If you drive a car, prepare to pay...
If you want cheap gas, please go away
If you get too poor, at home you'll sit
'Cos there's no way you can...budget....Gas-maaaaaan!!!!
-
Don't ask what the increase is for...(Taxman, Mr. Cheney...)
Or you will wind up paying more...(Taxman, Mr. Bush...)
'Cos I'm the Gas-Man...yeaaaaah, I'm the...Gas-maaaan..... ____________________

This post is humbly dedicated to the CEO and chief stockholders at Exxon...I wouldn't want them to have do do without their filet mignon and caviar, after all...

2 Comments:

Blogger MarmiteToasty said...

Hey you........ thought I would pop over whilst Im on the computer for 10 minutes....

You would die a the price of petrol over here, its almost $10 a gallon now and we have been told this week that it will be higher by next week.....

The only good thing is that Im not driving at the moment and havent now for 5-6 weeks.... and as I usually put in between 40-60 dollars worth of petrol a week (more if I drive not locally) then Ive saved bucket loads of dosh lol.....

What I would give to live in america and pay those tiny petrol prices ;)

X

9:01 AM  
Blogger Idaho Escapee said...

I see yer point, Mizz Marmie...Ten Dollars a gallon...I suppose everything in England is a little closer together? I recently spent $80 worth of gas to go to Portland, Oregon, to get my cute little PARROT. How did you like my revised Beatles lyrics? Hope your knees are doing better...thanks for stoppin' by...........DAVE

5:46 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home