Thursday, May 08, 2008

My semi-excellent adventure...
Or, "me on the interstate? RUN FOR COVER!"

It's a classic tale of our times...from the Information Superhiway to the Interstate Hiway. I've just done over 400 miles over the last two days...driving from Oregon's South Coast, up to Portland, and back, all in the name of picking up a little Pionus parrot at the Portland Airport. I planned out the journey by going to Mapquest.com, and was able to get street maps as well as terrain maps; I mean, I had names of places memorized that I'd never been to before. 'Twas my first time on an Interstate Highway in over a year; I was afraid I'd "lost my touch" (I am a very good driver if I do say so myself), but it's just like swimmin'; ya never forget how, and I found myself merging into traffic and lane-changing with the best of 'em.

My little feathered friend arrived at the airport's cargo building about 10 minutes after all the passengers disembarked (unembarked?), in one of those dark little shipping crates...he'd started from Fort Wayne, Indiana yesterday, flying southeast to Atlanta, and then criss-crossing over to Portland. I'm glad I don't have to zig-zag that much when I drive or fuel costs would REALLY get expensive. On the way back, I stopped outside Eugene to add $30 dollars MORE in gas to the $54 dollars worth I purchased before starting my "semi-excellent adventure"...I talked to the guy at the gas pump, and he told me that since gas rose above $3.50 a gallon, he's doing HALF the business he'd done previously, like perhaps $3.50 was some sort of 'cutoff' point. I predict that things are gonna get waaay tough for many folks pretty soon...rising fuel costs make everything ELSE go up, and if you think prices have already risen, you ain't seen nuthin' yet.

It's about 90 miles (or about $40 worth of gas) from this point to my humble abode...good ol' I-5.

So anyway, as far as my 'new arrival' is concerned, "it's a boy", although I'm not going to be passing out cigars anytime soon. I'm sure the bird (how could I Not name it "Ringo"?) was fatigued and scared, and the minute I let him out of the crate in the motel room, he raised a ruckus. He flew to the floor, trying to get away from me...and he would crouch down low and run along the rug in hopes I wouldn't detect him. Must be some sort of in-born evasive process...but what I wanted to do, you see, was put him in a cage I'd brought with me...and while the cage was small, it let in much more light than that old shipping crate, and that's how he rode with me today, from Portland back down to the South Coast. He was a good little passenger. He's home now, sitting in his new cage, it's the middle of the day, and he's catching up on much-needed bird ZZZZzzz's. And we're both in the process of getting used to each other. Both a little wary...and both just a wee bit fatigued. (You can see a picture of little Ringo in a couple of my more recent posts.)

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The Malaise of the M's: One of the Seattle P-I's columnists, who blogs about the Seattle Mariners, has said that the group is in a death spiral. That is, until the M's won the first game of this most recent series against the Texas Rangers. And everyone was excited that the M's had FINALLY WON A GAME. But put it in perspective! This is TEXAS, after all. Seattle is SUPPOSED to beat them. Except, Seattle lost the last two games of the series. The Mariners have scored an approximate total of 7 runs in the last 3 million games (well, it FEELS like 3-million games); the M's are just not hitting. But what can ya do? Even if Bat does strike Ball, the collision of two oppositely-rounded surfaces is gonna result in quite a few "dinks and doinks" anyway...I mean, what can you do or say to a hitter to MAKE HIM HIT? I don't know, and I don't think M's manager John McLaren knows either. And I'm not sure anyone knows. All I know is, some teams are hitting better than other teams. And just about every team is hitting better than the M's.


The M's ain't hitting. They lost last night, 2-0. They've lost all 14 games in which they didn't score at least four runs. Actually, the starting pitching's doing okay. Well, some of the starters are doing okay. But gosh, soon the average Mariners' player's hitting percentage will be worse than mine when I was a kid...I had two, count 'em, TWO, hits over 3 ENTIRE SEASONS. I have absolutely no sense of depth perception. I could just not SEE the ball. And I think Mariners' hitters are having the same problem. Watch for Moose defections in the near future. Maybe the M's next mascot should be a LAMB. Baaa. Maybe I should use Mariners' games for sleep therapy; a tape-delayed game broadcast is aired nightly at 11pm...that way I don't have to waste daylight listening to the M's blow it. That might just work! Just because I don't comment on the M's in each post don't mean I'm not watching or listening to their games. Although I'm beginning to wonder why I do.

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So I spent upwards of $80 in gas this last week. I'm so content to know I've done my part. Someone's gotta keep them Oil Company CEO's in the style to which they are accustomed. However, I'm glad I'm not traveling all the way up I-5 to watch the Mariners in person. Paying for over-inflated gas is bad enough without also paying to see a losing team. I'm not that masochistic...

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