I used to be halfway good at this, but now...

I Guess I'm ALL WASHED UP...

Waaay back when, I used to be able to predict which team would win the Super Bowl, and also the point spread. Most years, I'd be generally accurate predicting the point spread as well. Well, that 'taint the way 'tis anymore. I haven't really watched a lot of football the last couple of seasons, and my prognosticating, anymore, is just ALL WRONG. I think it all started when the Seattle Seahawks went to the Super Bowl back a coupla years ago...evidently the shock of a Seattle Team actually going to a championship game was too much for my poor ol' system to take, because ever since then, my game-prediction-equilibrium has basically disappeared. So does that mean I'll be ready for the boneyard if the Mariners actually go to the World Series someday? Well, I would be flabbergasted. But, anyway, back to football...

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This is a diagram of the average football fan's brain; overexposure to the National Football League causes one's brain to actually mutate and grow an extra lobe. It's been said that if any of the body's appendages ceases to be used, that over time, those appendages become vestigial in nature, and over the course of eons of time, "devolve" and just kinda wither away.

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I think that's what's happened to the 'football lobe' of my brain. Because I've only watched a handful of games over the last coupla seasons, I've lost it. I mean, I am no longer a peerless prognosticator. I mean, who'd have thought an unbeaten team (insert 'New England Patriots' here) would LOSE to a two-touchdown-underdog team (insert 'New York Giants' here)

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The New England Patriots' offensive struggles against the Giants looked even worse than the whippin' the football team of my old alma mater, The University Of Idaho, would take, were it to go up against any second-division high school team from any of the small wheat-field towns which surround Moscow, Idaho (the hometown of the Vandals, where the chief Tourist Attraction is 'Paradise Creek'...when it has water in it, that is). Of course, now that I've said that, the ol' Vandals will go undefeated next year, getting all kinds of lucrative Bowl offers. And half of the TV audience tuning in to an Idaho Vandal Bowl Game wouldn't even know where Idaho IS.

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So I'm a tired ol' has-been. I don't dare bet more than a wooden nickel on any kind of competitive thing anymore. I'm all washed up. Stick a fork in me, I'm done. Run me thru the wringer, I'm all wet. Tie me to the tracks, 'cos I'm derailed. As far as the Super Bowl (which, for me, is the Stupor bowl, especially with the outcome of this years' game), I should've taken into account that the Patriots had some really close calls late in the season, coming from behind, or only winning by a coupla points. But, no...I thot, "they're undefeated and shall remain so." That's about as risky a prediction as George Bush saying that we're gonna win the War on Terror. As soon as we can find out the one place in the world where Terror originates, yeah, we'll be right on top of that one. Maybe ol' Dubya oughta be a football coach instead of Prezzident; that way, his losses wouldn't result in fatalities. He kinda acts like he once played football...without a helmet.

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Okaaay, so now "Super Sunday" has pretty much come and gone. I would imagine that some lucky punters in Las Vegas won a heckuva lot of money by betting on the Giants. Okay, now "Super Tuesday", the Political Dog-and-Pony show involving all the Prezzidential candidates, will be happening in a couple of days. Am I going to try and predict THAT? Well, no, other than whoever wins will be a POLITICIAN, and you can Take That for all it's worth.