Wednesday, February 13, 2008

For an unlucky few baseball players...
Spring Training is a-startin' EARLY!

Usually around this time of year, it's still a while before we begin seeing those guys we love to watch play, yet hate 'em cos they make megabucks doing so, begin Spring Training and try to get themselves in condition, and hoping with all their might they don't pull groins, hamstrings, and tendons, or pop elbows, knees or shoulders before the Real Season begins after several more weeks have elapsed on down the line somewhere. But some of the 'boys of summer' are a-makin' earlier-than-usual appearances this year...

Used to be, athletes were known for eating Wheaties. Of course, what with the existing climate of judgmental Politicians Making Rulings On Baseball 'Cos They Have Nothing Else Better To Do In This Age Of Political Correctness (whew!), Wheaties themselves might be considered to be an illegal supplement. You never know. I don't know where I come down on this whole Steroids thing. To play at a Super Level, perhaps you need to turn yourself into Superman. I just don't know.

February ain't even half-over yet, and already baseball players are making appearances before the Joint Congressional Select Committee On Illegal, Dangerous, Immoral, Questionable and Dangerous Substances Designed To Turn A 150-lb. Weakling into a 250-lb. Hulkman (those congressional committees' names are gettin' longer all the time, it would seem), who, at his heavier, bulked-out, new-and-improved weight, has a much better chance of blowing out knees, ankles, feet, toes, hamstrings, groins and who knows what else, if the laws of stress and physics are to be taken seriously.

Last year's New York Yankees hired-gun pitcher Roger Clemens appeared today before the congressional committee I referred to above (don't make me repeat that name again!) and it seems that his appearance amounted to Verbal Hardball..."Mr. Clemens, did you take steroids?" "No." "Mr. Clemens, did you ingest any illegal substances?" "No." "Mr. Clemens, was it illegal steroids that have enabled you to maintain that muscular physique of yours long after you've basically lost any effectiveness out there on the mound?" "'m not washed up I? I don't know..." and so on and so forth...

But as we all know, A Picture is worth a thousand words...or two thousand words, if you're reading those words here. In a way, it's kinda Tragic to see a multi-Cy Young award winner grilled haplessly and mercilessly, but then again, you figure it's Roger Clemens that got grilled haplessly and mercilessly, and then you tell yourself, "hah, it couldn't happen to a nicer guy"...
"Oh no", the folks at must be thinking. That's where I got this foto.
I kinda wonder if Congress has something better to do than to pursue baseball players. If the Baseball Commissioner wants to kick players out of the game for steroids, then he should do it, and Congress should do some more important work somewhere else. Them committees ain't free, after all.


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