Sunday, January 27, 2008

POTHOLES on the Information Superhiway...'s getting to be quite a bumpy ride, going online!

Now, it could be that I'm spending waaay too much time online, but I've been noticing lately that it does almost no good to have a fast connection when there are so many divots and potholes out there in cyberspace that slow down the whole online experience, resulting in computer users (such as moi) ripping their hair out and swearing out loud at their desktops or laptops. Maybe Hollywood should make an updated version of "The Shining", in which Jack Nicholson would run into the room, madly out of control, axe in hand, and we watch in sheer abject horror as he chops a computer into smithereens. I bet it would be a hit! Golden Globe stuff, that...

I'm referring to programs installed within the computer as well as other annoying things on websites out there in cyber-wasteland. For instance, my firewall (which I pay for) is always throwing up little boxes on my screen, saying something to the effect of, "Such-and-such program is trying to take over your computer in its quest for world domination and to further mankind's endless suffering" or some such thing. Pop, pop, pop, these things keep popping up on my screen. Just when I get going with something (like this post), pop, pop, pop, I have to click "access" or "deny" whenever one of my firewall warning boxes pop up on the screen. I know the firewall's trying to do its job, but I wish it would DO it's job WITHOUT BOTHERING ME. I don't want my firewall to reject everything, but if I don't, I'm sentenced to a lifetime of computer cyber damnation, shooting down these firewall popup boxes.

Another really stupid thing my firewall does...periodically, it scans my computer for viruses, gremlins, bottom-feeding cyber scavengers and all kinds of mean, nasty, ugly things. But before it scans, a box pops up on the screen telling me it's going to scan. I shoot down that box, then compute for a while. Then another box pops up telling me that the "scan is in progress", so I have to shoot down THAT box. Then, another box pops up later on, telling me the "scan is complete"...and as I shoot down THAT box, I think to myself (and sometimes yell), "DAMMIT!!! JUST DO YOUR JOB AND QUIT POPPING STUFF UP ON MY SCREEN!!!" I really hate those kind of interruptions, but alas, I need a firewall to protect myself from all of the cyber-sharks out there. Now I need something to protect me from the FIREWALL, because every time it sends me a pop-up box, it freezes my computer until I shoot it down. I get really P.O.'ed about this. It gets my GOAT. Baaaaaaaaa........

And lately, just lately, whenever I visit Yahoo e-mail, if I roll my mouse across the ad at the top of the e-mail page, the ad DOUBLES in length, covering up my e-mails!!! I think that is a very inconsiderate and obtrusive way of advertising; in short it absolutely SUCKS and REEKS. And, sometimes, Yahoo or other websites feature animated ads which contain a whole lot of moving things, and those moving things clutter up and scatter files all over your hard drive, which means you have to sweep up and condense the mess on your disk by running a scandisk or defrag, to "compact" your files before you can visit websites again. In short, it's like a TV commercial that not only invades your mental space; it dumps garbage all over the floor that you have to clean up. I think, anymore, that computers aggravate me. Sometimes I wish I had never gone online. I am trying to wean myself off being hooked up to computers so much. I have a life to live, y'know. Honestly, sometimes my computer makes me feel like this...

The more we make things easier for ourselves, the more complicated things turn out to be. I wonder how much of my life I've wasted, waiting for something to download, waiting for the computer to re-boot, waiting for a computer-cleanup program to finish running so I can get back to what I was doing...heck, I spend enough time online without all of these cyber-complications being thrown my way. All I know is, computer usage is more and more like the picture I included above; it all seems to be getting more and more complicated, just to be able to do the same things you used to do without all those complications. But then again, on a rainy day like today, having online access is a fun thing. Or, it was until annoying little boxes began popping up on my screen. Bang! Shot down another one! I'm having more fun than Dick Cheney in a hunting party!

Another indication that I'm online too much: The silver-gray paint coating on my touchpad 'mouse' is wearing off. I've only had this laptop a year, and it's beginning to look pretty weatherbeaten. And no, that hasn't happened because I've been pounding on my computer. Not yet, anyway.


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