Wednesday, January 31, 2007

A Truly "imPECKable" Post...
...the dust is a-kickin' up at the Parakeet Ranch...

You have probably heard of weird old ladies who live with a whole bunch of cats, in a house where the interior is covered by spider webs and mousetraps...well, I'm not that bad (I hope!), but I have a couple of housemates. That's right, I GOT PARAKEETS! I don't want a dog; I don't want to have to pick up doggie-doo with my hands, and that's WITH a plastic glove on...I'm largely allergic to cats; something in the cat's fur...whenever I pet a cat, and then I touch my face, I break out and start sneezing, virtually gouging my eyeballs out because they're so red and irritated. So, I got Parakeets. A male and a female.

The male is just a cool little guy; he sings and chirps and flies around the cage. Whenever I'm playing a rock or a jazz record, he'll sing along; he won't move, but he sings his little heart out. If you think of a parakeet having the mentality of Red Skelton, well, that's my little male parakeet. The FEMALE parakeet is a whole different matter. She is bigger and fatter than the male, and she is possessive of EVERYTHING. If the male is eating out of a seed tray, she'll come over, peck at him, making him move. So the male goes to another seed tray, and she'll come over and peck him out of the way once again. She's actually knocked him off the perch a few times. The only time he gets a lot to eat is when she is GROOMING herself. I told a friend of mine about this situation, and he said, "you shoulda expected that. It's a FEMALE parakeet, after all." The Female parakeet basically has the mentality of your average Roller Derby Queen. BAM! PECK! SQUAWK!

I kinda think this is a case of parakeet 'tough love'. Because, the little male hangs in there, he survives, and all of a sudden the female will have a change of heart, and the parakeets get all lovey-dovey, grooming each other and cuddling. Awwwww.... But without warning, she'll change back into Rhoda, the homicidal monster parakeet. I'm probably spoiling 'em rotten, but I've bought them a lot of toys; little mirrors, little bell trees, things that dangle down from the top of the cage. Oh yeah, I've bought them those little seed-tree things. I buy two of everything, hoping that if the female chases him away from one of them, he can go peck away at the other, before she shoves him away from that one too. Then he'll go to where she was, and begin pecking again. The little male bird uses up a lot of calories in the process. The female bird? Well, she reminds me of women I've tried to have relationships with. I think I'll stay single.

In England, they refer to Parakeets as BUDGIES. And you might remember, back when singing groups were so popular, there were The Animals, The Critters, The Orioles, The Spaniels, The Byrds (well, that name comes close), and many other such bands whose names I can't remember right now. But, there was an unheard-of three-man rock band from England, and they called themselves, yes, you guessed it...BUDGIE! The thing that set Budgie apart was their use of really strange time signatures. The downbeat would always land in strange places, and it's music like that which really perks up my ears. I bought their music back when records were..."cheep" (sorry, I couldn't resist). I have several albums of theirs in my collection, one of which is titled "ImPECKable"...the front cover of the album is below...

You can see our fearless little bird-buddy here, flying straight into the path of danger, as the cat thinks, "LUNCH!" My little male parakeet is blue with dark wings; the female is blue with white wings. And you know, since I've had these dumb little birds, I've FELT better, mentally. Something about pets that makes you live in the present. I can watch them for hours and I have. They're ONLY birds. But it makes me think God knew what he was doing when he created creatures that can be domesticated. And it's nice to have some 'life' around me. I suppose cat ladies all feel the same way.

But, little parakeets (Budgies) are vulnerable creatures. Back when I was a kid, I felt sorry for the bird being in a cage, so I let him fly around the house. The neighbor's cat came in thru a front door I thot was closed, and, well let's just say, the bird didn't fly anymore that day. Or any other day. The 'keets cage is right near my living room window, and any day, I fully expect to see all the neighborhood cats standing themselves up by my window, licking their chops. But what if the tables were turned? And cats had to be afraid of parakeets in some weird "Wild Kingdom" parallel universe? It could happen...may I present, the BACK cover of the "ImPECKable" album...ta-daaaaa......
Hmmm...that would be a great idea for a horror movie..."Night of the Killer Parakeets"...in which imprisoned budgies from all over the world inhale something in the air which makes them grow and get stronger and they all bend apart the bars on their cages and exact revenge upon the human race.......

I've even named my parakeets. I wanted a couple of names that were "edgy", that would immediately convey a vivid image, and I think I made the right choice. Their names? BONNIE & CLYDE. Although, in this case, "Clyde" comes closer to resembling Jack Benny or Barney Rubble. I'm actually wondering if Bonnie will escape her cage, fly into my computer room and peck at me until I return to the bird cage. It could happen.

____________________

Something just hit me, as I was typing that last paragraph. Could it be? It's possible, it's possible...I have come upon one of the more important life's philosophies...for, I think I have found out where the term "HENpecked" comes from!

2 Comments:

Anonymous Kick Shoe said...

I love birds. I used to have parakeets and canaries. Then I got allergic to feathers. So sad.

6:00 PM  
Blogger little ol' me said...

Hey, Cathy...you know where I wrote in the Parakeet Post where cats would be standing themselves up at my window, drooling over the parakeets? That actually HAPPENED last night...a neighborhood cat was casing the joint, trying to figure out how to break in. And the old war between feline and bird continues!

3:27 AM  

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