Thursday, January 18, 2007

I've got a "BONIVA" to pick with you...
It's just gotta be one of the most LAZY-ASS commercials ever!

I saw a commercial that really irritated me. It runs along the lines of "In the year 2525, won't need no teeth, won't need no eyes...everything you think, do or say, is in the pill you took today"...and it points the way toward a future where we will never have to lift a finger to do anything. It is but the beginning of a new future, where human beings will be formless blobs with no muscle tissue; we'll all just sit around like flounders on the ocean's bottom...okay, let me tell you why I got so steamed over this...

"BONIVA" is a women's calcium supplement; it comes in pill form, and it's probably a really great thing. Women can take it and worry less about osteoporosis. That's a good thing. I applaud medical invention. I'm currently waiting for some kind of magic pill that provides 50 pounds of weight loss in the next half hour, and who knows, some pharmacy technician is researching that concept in his spare time.

The cute, petite, but obviously showing-her-age lady in the Boniva commercials is none other than Sally Field, the star of that long-forgotten, hopefully never-to-return '60's TV series, "The Singing Nun". In the commercial, she says she and her girlfriend were talking about medications which supply calcium. She said that her girlfriend has to make time ONCE A WEEK to take her calcium medication. (It only takes half a second to swallow a damn pill, right?)

Well, Sally told her friend that she, Sally, only has to take Boniva once a month. ONCE A MONTH! And her friend said, "Now that's something I can do!" Okay, let's take this apart...with the old medication, Sally's friend takes a pill once a week. HALF A SECOND A WEEK TO TAKE A PILL. Sally takes the new, improved medication. HALF A SECOND A MONTH TO TAKE A PILL.

I personally think BOTH of these ladies should take a pill...a SMART pill, if there's such a thing. Does anyone out there actually complain that they have to take ONE PILL, ONCE A WEEK? Hell, I'm not sick, nor seriously infirmed, but EACH NIGHT I take SIX pills! Three of those pills are for my gouty-arthritis, which I have to take THE REST OF MY LIFE. The other three pills are a very mild anti-depressant, which STILL WORKS after taking it DAILY for SIX YEARS!!!

That totals out to 2,190 pills I take in a 365 day year...add 6 pills for a leap year. Sally takes 12 Boniva pills a year. Sally's friend has been taking 52 pills a year, assuming she hasn't switched to Boniva yet. I am poking fun at this commercial, obviously, but I am somewhat alarmed and disgusted that people can be so damn LAZY. And do the people who write commercials think we're MORONS? You know, I am actually a bit STEAMED about this!

Whenever I've been a nuisance, or super-goofy or especially when I'm neurotic, in the past, people have told me to "take a pill". Well, I will. And when I do, then I'll only have to take 2,081 pills the rest of the year. How about I do a commercial and make serious cash? All the easier to afford PILLS with!


Blogger Steve said...

Hey Dave...Steve here...

Just FYI, those calcium suppliments like Boniva require you to sit still, not walk around, for 30 minutes after taking them!!

9:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi. There are some very good weight loss articles at They could be very useful, so if you have any spare time i recommend that you read them. Besides, Proactol will be soon launched, and we know that proactol is 1st clinically proven fat binder.

11:35 AM  
Blogger Jinx said...

I have a neigbhor lady who takes 11 pills in the morning, 4 in the afternoon and 6 or so at bedtime.
so I don't complain about the few vitamins I do take. Luckily so far need no prescription meds.

11:37 AM  
Blogger little ol' me said...

Steve, which 'Steve' are you? (I know several 'Steves'. Good point...the commercials don't tell you about that 30-minute pill incubation period!

Jinx, thanks for the input. I'm just thankful that the pills I do take aren't expensive.

And, "anonymous" (probably in a computer-generated message) took the time (or not) to inform me about proactol. But I'm suspicious of those fat-burning things; they speed up your metabolism so you can lose weight, and screw up your heart in the process. If I can be proven wrong here, I just might try proactol. But I won't risk my life doing it!

8:12 PM  
Blogger Steve said...

the KVNI one...AKA "Borah Triangle" on HBO, and living across the (non)alley from your old home!

2:46 PM  
Blogger little ol' me said...

Heya, Mr. Sibulsky...I always did like that "non-alley"...I always had to go out and mow it when I was a kid. I remember when your house was the "furthest east" house on Hattie Avenue. Ain't that way now!

7:42 PM  
Blogger Steve said...

If you're in the Coos Bay area...look for a seaffod store owned by som CDA refugees...Steve and Margaret Pounder!! I can't remeber the name of the store...but I think it's on the Coos Bay "strip"...

7:54 PM  
Blogger little ol' me said...

Well, Steve, there are a lotta strips here...the town is actually several smaller towns all grown together, so there's lots of "strips". Traffic can be crazy with all the one-way streets I just stay on my "strip". There are seafood places all over the place. (I don't know the Pounders)

8:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You miss the point, the big deal about once a month Boniva is the other pills in this chemical class (like Fosamax) make many people sick. The "SALE" is why not be sick only once a month instead of daily or weekly. Boniva, a bisphosphonate, can be poison to the wrong person. It can cause your esophagus to bleed, and the resulting plunge in blood pressure can cause CHF - congestive heart failure. Anyone advised to take Boniva had best do their resaeach first. Don't take Sally Fiend's or your doctor's word as final. Study up. Visit

12:26 PM  

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