Monday, January 15, 2007

Don't believe everything you read...
...ESPECIALLY if you read it in this here blog!

Wow, I bet you won't find many bloggers who actually SAY THAT in their blog...everyone wants to be taken so doggone seriously these days, that the idea of whimsy and, yes, I'll say it, FUN, is largely nonexistent. So, I don't care about the war, I don't care about the government, I don't care about very much of anything. There, that cleans the slate. One new development, though, that I really didn't need to know; I just learned Saddam Hussein's half-brother and someone else were hanged in Iraq today...and one of those executed, dropped thru the trap-door with such force, that, according to the eager and earnest news correspondent, "his head was severed." And call me crazy, but that John Anderson song is going thru my mind right now..."they were SWINGIN'...just a SWINGIN'..."

I think the most important, newsworthy topic these days is the feud between Donald Trump, the quadrazillionbillionaire speculator/developer/prognosticator, and oh, yeah, TV executive, and Rosie O'Donnell, who is basically the LOUDMOUTH of the "View" show. Rosie dominates almost every facet of that show with her BIG MOUTH, and for me, renders it unwatchable. I used to tune in to find out how women think. Hmmm...maybe THAT'S why I'm no good at relationships. Oh, by the way, Mr. Trump, if yer reading this, and you like what you've read, I'll take donations. So please e-mail me. I'm on YOUR SIDE, ol' buddy, ol' pal...speaking of which, I need to take a crash course in engineering so I can do that thing that "the Donald" does with his hair, because if my scalp gets much barer, I'll need to re-structure the positioning of precious random strands of scalp hair. Ah, heck, what the hey, that's what hats were invented for. Something tells me, that with this paragraph, I've pretty much nixed any chance of a Trump contribution anytime soon.

Speaking of which, the hat I always wear is falling apart; it unravels more every time I put it on. It is fragmenting, coming apart piece by piece. I have no idea why. I mean, I've only worn it virtually every day for the past 7 YEARS. Lucky for me that I found a backup hat long ago, but I never wore it, because I didn't like it then, and I'm not sure I do now. But it covers the bald spot. There is a reason for this, PEOPLE!!! Have you ever tried to use a comb or brush when your scalp is SUNBURNED??? Actually, I have ratty hair that flies all over the place, so the hat kinda holds it down a bit and makes me look more "together" than I actually am.

So I moved from North Idaho down here to Oregon. And the snow followed me down. The year I choose to live here is one of the coldest and snowiest down here in recent history. I must admit I had to be careful, walking through the ONE-QUARTER-INCH OF SNOW that's in my yard. I have to use the front door, because the deck where my back door is located is frozen with rain that drips off the roof and freezes. Yes, frozen rain usually freezes. After it drops. Don't believe everything you read, but you can believe THAT. Right about now, all the Idaho folks sliding around on frozen roads and unceremoniously falling on concrete-textured ice that lurks under a couple feet of snow probably hate me, I think to myself as I'm out driving on BARE ROADS...

But, I'm living on the edge, I tell ya. This is TSUNAMI country, after all. And all the TV stations down here were advising us to STAY TUNED IN because there was an earthquake way over there in Japan, which could send a rapidly-moving wall of water our way. Only, that didn't happen. Me, I'm trying to find out why clam chowder is so expensive on the coast. Isn't the coast where the clams ARE??? A bowl of "chowdah" (That's how you say it if you're a Kennedy) averages near the $5.00 level around here. Returning to the weather, I told a couple of people here that it's nowhere near as cold here as Idaho, and they said, "after you spend some here, you'll think like us."

One topic has got me kind-of wondering about things up there in North Idaho. I am wondering how the local radio station sounds now, with its new transfusion of semi-eminently qualified talking heads sitting around the mike in the mornings. And, I've heard that the afternoon shift up there has been taken over by a long-time employee who has all the personality of a small soap dish (I borrowed that term from a National Lampoon record)...I had long thought that doo-woppin' oldies format is illogical, stupid and bumbling. "Oh, give me an example", you say. Okay...that station regularly plays "Liar, Liar" by the Castaways, which is NOT a doo-wop song! Game, set, match. (I almost sound like I know what I'm talking about here)

Speaking of SPORTS (well, I wasn't, but I am now, I guess), there is a perfectly good reason to root for the Seattle Seahawks, and that is, we become accustomed to the heavy load of grief we all carry when our beloved 'Hawks lose out (as they did Sunday in the playoffs), that by the time baseball season gets here, we just kinda take a Mariners' losing season in stride. And, that, of course, prepares you for the next football season, and so on, and so forth. "And they are LOSIN...Just a LOSIN'......"

But the main reason I told you not to believe everything you read, especially if you read it here, is, and I'll paraphrase an earlier post here which reveals me to be a phony, an egregious internet fibber...earlier, I'd said something to the effect of "this blog will will have less pictures in" And then I was looking through all of the programs inside my new computer that aren't portrayed by icons on my desktop, and lo, and behold, there was PictureIt "7"...which is the tool de jour if you're gonna do photo satire. So, the question is, have I lost my touch? I think so...

and the folks at thot they were safe! HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

I have a little Beatles "news" thing on this blog that's "piqued" my curiosity; scroll down and it's on the left side of this page, down near the counter, which faithfully informs me how many people read this blog but probably don't believe everything they read...and they are wise. But there's a story about "Paul McCartney says he's done with women". Hey, his second wife, Heather, would've been enough to send me to the monastery. My Dad used to say..."a woman will scream at the sight of a mouse, but she'll tackle a man as big as a house." I didn't agree with him about much, but THAT is true. So now I'll quit while I'm ahead. (ahead of what?...)

Actually, all these years, I thot it was "peaked" my curiosity; my curiosity reached its peak. And then I saw it spelt "piqued" for the FIRST TIME recently. So I guess everything I know is wrong. I'm now beginning not to believe the stuff I write...


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