Politics, Schmolitics...yadda, yadda, yadda...
Tomorrow's the end of it all...until next time they want somethin'...

My TV remote gets a lot of use these days. The word "Mute" is just about worn-off. Well, what did you expect with all of the political ads out there? I've taken to having to use a different finger to press "mute". The print of my usual mute-button finger has just about worn off. I'm not kidding, I'd really confuse a crime lab if they had to fingerprint me for something. (Yeah, I know, too much 'Court TV' and 'CSI'...)

So if your index finger is feeling tired from "mute overuse", use your middle finger to press mute. This actually accomplishes two valuable objectives: you can "mute" the commercial and "flip it off" at the same time! (Aside: Why did the worm take Judo? It wanted to FLIP THE BIRD.) Or, you could tune into the "O" channel for "Sex Talk" with Sue Johnson, that gross old lady who talks about all kinds of things that I don't wanna hear about from someone who looks like someone's great- Great-GRANDMA! Ack, Ack, Ack, Aaaaaaaaaaaaaackthptf!!! I accidentally stumbled onto that program once when I was channel-surfing. She began demonstrating how to use some weird plastic invention, and I was runnin' for cover in no time! Her show has advertisers, but I don't think any politicians would go NEAR that channel. Hope not, anyway...although some probably secretly do...

Okay, back to my subject (sorry I go so easily off-topic)...I have stepped into the voters' booth in years past, and no matter how much I'd read up on the issues going in, I still felt like I didn't know everything I needed to know. And I thot, "gee, if I'm this ignorant, and I've read up on the issues, how many other voters are like ME? And, how fast can our country be going downhill?" Actually, fast enough that if our nation was a vehicle, an officer could write it a speeding ticket. That is, if the cop could catch up to a vehicle breaking the sound barrier...

If you have had thoughts about running for political office, though...well, there's a great commercial where an actor posing as a Politician is LITERALLY giving the voters a song and dance routine..."Vote for me", he purrs, as his winning smile blinds the ignorant masses. (It's a message saying, "don't be fooled by the image"). Still, I'm sure there's folks like me who are still ignorant AFTER reading up on the issues. So you gotta have the smile. I remember seeing former Idaho Governor Dirk Kempthorne at the University of Idaho back when I was a student. He had a moustache then, he was Prezz of the Student body, and even then he had that handshake and winning smile. Maybe Politicians are just BORN? Could that be?

Next, if you're thinking about running for office, another requirement is that you live in a bubble from day ONE. Since, one day you'll be open for all kinds of public scrutiny, you can't do anything wrong, ever. No interns! No "lust in your heart"! No bad 3rd-grade report cards. No sidestepping scholastic issues with "cliff notes"! No skipping school, not even one day. But you can't be too perfect, though. The media will think that "you're too good to be true" and will try to dig up dirt on you. They'll say you're some kinda freak 'cos your record is so GOOD! So make sure you have a couple of vices everyone can be comfortable with. You know, like playing the saxophone in nightclubs, or perhaps going on hunting excursions. If you do the latter, make sure you don't kill any baby seals or anyone in your hunting party, tho. A no-no!

FINALLY, as Andre Agassi, the tennis player, once said in a TV commercial back when he was a longhaired tennis bum, "Image is Everything". I think it was a Canon cameras commercial. Where do you go to really convey an image? TV, of course. We, who watch the tube while munching away on Potato Chips and Ding Dongs can see YOU in action, how you look, how you move, how you sound. Some of us even listen to what you SAY. Imagine that! So, here is a primer on how to make TV Commercials, positive OR negative...



(click on the picture to enlarge) An analysis was made once during the Super Bowl, and it was found that there was a heckuva lotta toilet-flushing going on during the commercials. So, make sure you air a 'TV spot' every 15 minutes, because sooner or later, someone will be too tired to get up offa the couch to use the "throne" or get more potato chips or Ding Dongs. Now, go out there and win one for the gipper!!! And, GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!