Sunday, October 15, 2006

November must be approaching...
Them political candidates are baaaack!
...be afraid...be very, VERY afraid...

Take a typical (but fictitious)(still, it could happen!) political contest between a male incumbent and his female challenger..the lady candidate says the incumbent voted for self-serving legislation during his last term. He responds by saying she isn't qualified to serve a volleyball, let alone hold public office. Then, she says the incumbent doesn't stand for womens' rights. He counters by saying his opponent is a militant feminist who lacks the judgment to adequately represent men and non-militant women.

She accuses the incumbent of using taxpayer-funded office computers in order to visit questionable websites, including www.nazimongers.com, www.runoversmallanimals.com, www.sexwithanythingthatbreathes.com, is known to have purchased rubber underwear on Ebay, and has obtained instructions on how to make a nuclear warhead out of a pencil eraser from www.blowuptheworldandeveryoneinit.com. The incumbent first refutes those charges, then rips all of the hard drives out of all his computers and has them run over with steamrollers.

He has dirty laundry. She has questionable tactics. She says if elected, she'd serve in dedicated fashion on several select committees. He responds by saying his lady opponent spends WAY too much on fashions. He says he'd get a real "kick" out of being re-elected, so he could again serve his public. In turn, she says he has more kickbacks than the last ten years' total amount of punt returns from the National Football League. He says he believes in advocating the swift sword of justice. She then says all her opponent will do is write propaganda with a poison pen. He then responds by saying he represents a "meat and potatoes" view of America, to which his lady opponent says the only "meat" his opponent deals in is PORK.

Yep, folks, the season of politix is upon us all, as is painfully shown here...


The fine feathered folks at www.spokesmanreview.com/blogs/hbo will tell you this satire is 'for the birds'.

Soon, I guess, we'll find out which candidates attain their "gilded cage" while the more unfortunate ones just lay an egg. SQUAWK! All of this makes me really glad that my TV remote has a "MUTE" button.
____________________

Sadly, I really cannot say this post is a satire. The sum total of cacophony generated by all of this political advertising warfare sounds a whole lot like what I've typed above. But there's one good thing about an election...all the political people will just GO AWAY for a while.

2 Comments:

Blogger Jinx said...

this time of year I am so glad for the mute button on the remote control.
for out of state ads of course. I always listen to local ads. or at least for the 1st time in any hour.

9:44 PM  
Blogger little ol' me said...

Ms. Jinx, I find it amazing that grown-up, mature candidates engage in slinging mud and throwing sand at each other like spoilt brats. Makes me wonder if issues are EVER used in politics! It all sounds more like 'tattling' to me.

11:42 PM  

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