Going out on the lake is a good way to...
KI$$ YOUR CA$H GOODBYE!

In my previous last coupla posts, I've railed on and on (and on) about how expensive everything seemed to be at a local downtown bazaar/artsy-fartsy-type craft event. OK, call me "Scrooge". But I just can't believe what people will pay for, and how much they'll pay for it. When it comes to rental rates for watercraft out on the lake, you'd think that someone was staging a floating bazaar/artsy-fartsy-craft event out there on the blue water...for instance, there's a rental outfit here in town; I won't mention their name, because I don't know if they're an independent business or if they operate in conjunction with the overpriced Coeur d'Alene Rezzort, which charges an arm and a leg (with other limbs optional) for all kinds of things, including powerboat rentals, which I understand can go for as much as $400 for a half-day.

You've seen those little personal watercrafts out there on the lake, zigzagging in back of bigger boats, while the FOOLS who operate them try to "jump" the boat's wake, taking the chance of killing themselves at a high rate of speed. Well, if you wanna be a thrillseeker on a little personal watercraft (which can hold 2-3 people), the going rate is $225.00 for a HALF-DAY; $350.00 for an ENTIRE DAY (look at how much you SAVE by keeping your watercraft for an entire day; hey, more opportunities to kill yourself that way!), and if you wanna rent the thing for a week, it costs just under $2,000. What I'm wondering is, can't you (almost) BUY a personal watercraft for that? The model number is VX-110, in case you want to search for costs. Me, I don't give a rat's (posterior).

If you REALLY wanna try to kill yourself, you can rent a little "Seadoo 3D", on which you stand while operating it. That makes you less stable on your watercraft, so when you jump that "boat's wake", you (and machine) could end up doing several end-over-end-flips in the air before crashing onto the lake's surface, you breaking your neck in the process. The rates for this little watercraft are: $325 a Day, $200 for Half a Day, and $1799 for a Week's worth of causing potential water-related disasters as you zip across the lake, causing the poor seaplanes up above to try and select a different landing route out there on the lake; unfortunately, when a seaplane 'commits' to landing in a particular spot, it can't really change direction all that fast. I firmly believe it's a wonder there haven't been any seaplane-related disasters out there on the lake because of idiots on buzzing watercrafts going in no "one" direction in particular for more than 25 seconds. It's gonna happen SOMEDAY, mark my words! And the Seaplane company will probably end up getting SUED for a seaplane-watercraft collision despite the fact that an IDIOT on a personal watercraft got in the seaplane's way!


This is the Seadoo 3D. Wanna get rid of your mother-in-law? Take her out for a ride on one of these!

Finally, I've seen a lot of those boxy, awkward-looking Pontoon boats out there; they look weird, but they cut the water pretty well, because of the pontoons. The brochure where I got all of these prices encourages the operators of these craft to "throw a party on the lake". Yep, that oughta keep the Kootenai County Water Cops busy. They will thank you for providing them with job security. Rentals for a pontoon boat are only $420.00 for a day, or $2275 for a week. Rumor has it that people who could afford these ATROCIOUS, MONEY-GRUBBING WATERCRAFT RENTAL RATES also bought overpriced footstools and metal sculptures at a craft booth in our fair city this past weekend. In other words, there's a LOTTA people out there on the lake, probably from somewhere else, with tons of disposable cash. And, these rental rates don't even cover the drop-off and pick-up DELIVERY FEES. If I was rich, I probably wouldn't rent a pontoon boat. Costs too much, after all. I'd opt for a smaller watercraft so I could afford a weekend in the Haggadone suite in the overpriced rezzort. And maybe play the overpriced rezzort golf course and see how many overpriced golf balls I could lose trying to hit the floating green.

I spent two hours in the Java place today (which was a lot cheaper than two hours of a watercraft rental!), and part of the reason I was there so long was the new Rolling Stone magazine on the coffee-shop's reading table. Inside the magazine was a great article on Led Zeppelin, "The heaviest band ever". Maybe "Zep" is an acquired taste for people who prefer things more on the "Englebert" side of things, but I've always loved 'em. Very creative music. And, there was also a nice article on the recently-departed Syd Barrett, the "Crazy Diamond" who "shone" when he was with Pink Floyd. I do hope, that in the next issue of Rolling Stone, they address the passing of one of rock's unsung heroes, Arthur Lee, who recorded some immortal music when he led the band "Love". If you want a really great piece of music, get the CD of their 1967 album, "Forever Changes". It is positively one of the best records EVER issued.

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Me, I like to sit and look at the lake. So far, no one's been able to charge me for that. Yet.