According to what I read today,
I must be an INTELLECTUAL!
(heaven forbid...)

Is "intellectual" the right word? Well, let's approach it another way. I'm not totally losing my mind. Not yet, anyway. You've seen those commercials for women's chemically-laden false-hair-coloring in which a lady with nicer hair than anyone has a right to have says, "I'm not getting older, I'm getting BETTER". I kinda think that the babes who appear in those commercials have great looking hair TO BEGIN WITH. If some lady out there had the kind of frizzed-out, going-in-all-directions hair that I've got, the only substance that would allow her hair to hang luxuriously like the ladies in the TV commercials would be 30-weight MOTOR OIL.

But there it was, right thar in the noozpaper...an article which said "After 60, the Crabbiest People are the Smartest People". In short, if yer over 60 and hate everything, and you've always been that way, you're not losing your mind. In other words, if you're over 60 and you smile and complacently accept everything and get along with your fellow man, you're on the fast track to senility. The logic in the article seemed to be, that if you reach a certain age, and you still have enough marbles to be mean and cratchety, then you're doing okay. So there you have it...if you're old, you have a RIGHT to be grouchy, crabby and intolerant; in fact, it's almost expected of you. (Did the person who wrote this article know my DAD? He only got meaner as time wore on.)

The article pretty much said that you can't change your personality in order to make yourself smarter, so you have to be an old grouch to begin with. In short, if you are a nice person and you're afraid you're gonna lose your mind as you age, you can't improve things by suddenly becoming grouchy. You have to be an old coot to begin with. I suppose there's research out there that indicates that if you're 'able' enough to form negative conclusions and pinpoint what's wrong with everything, you're using your brain, and your brain cells are in good shape, so therefore, you aren't senile. But you naturally have to be grouchy to begin with. Like me! So maybe there IS something to the old saying, "ignorance is bliss". Because I ain't got ANY bliss. But hopefully my brain will continue to function.
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Off the streets and into the alleys dept.: (That's an old advertising slogan for a bowling alley, hence, it's appearance here). Our fair (or not) city hasn't had a bowling alley for the last couple years. Strange, huh? Anyway, Sunset Bowling Center is going to open once again for business, so that means the pins are gonna be flyin' once again. Not for me; I haven't bowled in 30 years, but once again, area residents will be able to immerse themselves in myriad leagues, and instead of sitting around, drinking beer and doing nothing, they'll now be able to sit around, drink beer and get up once in a while to toss a ball down the lane, trying all the while to stay out of the gutter. Hmmm...that would be a great slogan for a bowling alley...picture this: "Sunset Bowl, the place where it's OKAY for your mind to be in the gutter." I once bowled for a team...those seasons are LONG!!! You think the NBA season is long? It doesn't compare to a bowling league!
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So crime doesn't pay? dept.: Don't tell that to Donald Paradis. He's getting $900,000 after getting out of prison for a murder that happened a long time ago. Is he guilty? I honestly don't know. It's safe to say he was "there at the time". He languished on Idaho's death row for many years. I suppose it's one of those "technical law things" that got him off death row and later freed him altogether. The officials quoted in today's newspaper article were careful to point out that Paradis never was found "not guilty". I guess all anyone can say now is, "Don, stay out of trouble, ok?"
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I never thot I'd see the day dept.: A rather strange-looking guy, John Mark Karr, has evidently confessed to killing little Jonbenet Ramsey; he was arrested in Thailand last night, and evidently the Boulder, Colorado, police department, had its collective eye on him for quite a while. I still haven't yet heard how Karr came to be in the Ramsey's house, where Jonbenet's body was found. I had seen Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey appear on various programs down thru the years; I could tell Mr. Ramsey had nothing to do with it, but I wondered about Mrs. Ramsey for a while, especially in the light of Susan Smith and other infamous moms I've heard about. What a society we have, all the things that happen that end up clouding judgment. And I guess my judgment was clouded.

So there's been "an arrest in the case." It's going to be interesting, hearing all of the details as this case progresses. Tonight, the "news bar" on the screen of Fox News says that Karr was "with Jonbenet when she died". He himself has been quoted as saying her death was an "accident". Ack. The doubletalk has started. Could it be that in 2006, we are already having a "trial of the century"? Oops... guess I forgot about Scott Peterson...Okay, are we already having a SECOND "Trial of the Century"? What I don't "get", is that crimes just keep HAPPENING. Is the human race really that STUPID? I've spent a lifetime learning from the mistakes of others, and yes, my own, too. So I don't rob, cheat, steal, lie or kill people. But it keeps happening. All this crime. It just amazes me sometimes.
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Oh, my aching back dept.: Assuming anyone gives a rip, I will update my medical condition. I went for a "followup" appointment at my back doctor. When I got there, a lady doctor who I don't remember seeing before fired off a bunch of questions from a sheet of paper she was holding. I had the impression they were "signing off" on me. I've been having steroid injections, but I can't have anymore for a while. The lady told me that one can only have so many steroids in their system in a given point of time. So I am trying to adjust to life without steroids, which would lessen the pain for about a month. It's tricky. I have good days, and days like yesterday, where I got up from a picnic table in the park, and while I tried to straighten into a standing position, my back went out and I almost lost my balance. I am looking into other things...and have considered acupuncture. I don't know if that would work for nerve pain, tho. Right now I'm trying "Doan's Pills". Better living thru chemistry, I guess. It is a case of "pain versus economics"...rather than fork out a cool 25K for a back operation (which might NOT make things better), I have to be really careful. I think we all take the ability to stand up and sit down for granted. With me, I have to figure out HOW I'm gonna do that. I do know that I wouldn't make it thru yer average Lutheran Church Service, with the amount of standing up and sitting down that goes on every Sunday morning! You can go to Church and get an aerobic workout at the same time.
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And it's 1,2,3 strikes YER OUT! At the old ball game dept.: If the Seattle Mariners had any chance to try and win the AL West Pennant, those chances flew out the window the other day when they were swept in a 4-game series, and starting a new series tonite, they LOST again. I can't even remember the names of the teams who beat the M's, but it really doesn't matter. Everyone's beating 'em. The M's are tanking fast. They could probably get beaten by an average Little League team these days. Seriously, though, one fact emerges: The Mariners have basically had the same core of pitchers for YEARS. Moyer, Meche and Piniero, and they continue to lose. If the M's don't get some decisive starting pitching, they're gonna KEEP tanking. Jared Washburn, their newest starting pitcher, has done fairly well this year. But he's had better years, too. I really admire Jamie Moyer; he can't throw hard, according to Major League standards, but he's done a lot with his limited pitching speed. But when he's having a bad day, it's batting practice. And with Meche and Piniero, they're consistently inconsistent. Meche, especially, has tremendous natural ability. On any other job, when an employee can't "get it done", that employee gets fired or laid off or whatever. These guys are making millions. And it's just NOT HAPPENING. Hey, look, I love baseball; I'll watch the M's until the next Ice Age, but the M's need to search far and wide for NEW PITCHERS who can WIN consistently...


I should be ashamed. But I have no scruples, other than to say www.spokesmanreview.com/blogs/hbo is where I got this pic.
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Of course I'm a hypocrite, complaining about a team's pitching...these days, I wouldn't be able to get a hit in a game of T-ball. I'd have to have someone swing the bat for me, and then run for me. Oh, my aching back!