Thursday, May 25, 2006

My glasses are making SPECTACLES of themselves!
My viewpoint's the same, but I'm seeing things a tad differently...

When I was young, I took for granted all the stuff my eyes could do. I could focus "near", and then zip my eyes over to look at something further away, and my eyes would respond every time. I like to watch TV and read at the same time, and a few years ago I noticed when I looked up from my book to see something on the screen, my eyes took longer to adjust. Just another little indicator that time is passing by and I'm aging. I used to have a pair of plastic-lens bifocals, and I never did get used to them. So I went back to single-vision lenses. And for the last coupla years, I've been removing and putting on my glasses, depending on what I was doing. Lately, I've been reading with my left eye only. My right eye doesn't focus up close, so it was taking a "siesta". (oops, I used a Spanish word I gonna be deported?)

Then, last summer, I began noticing something that EXTREMELY annoyed me. With my glasses on, I would look down at my guitar's neck, to make sure my fingers were in the right place, and the strings and frets were BLURRING. I was hitting more wrong notes than usual. So, I'd take my glasses off, and one eye would focus on the strings but the other wouldn't, and sometimes I'd see two guitar necks going off in different directions. I have no idea how someone who has no sight can play music; either on keyboards or guitar, because the musicians' hands are all over the place in search of the right notes. So I embarked upon another chapter in my seemingly never-ending medical saga, as I realized the time had come for me to get new glasses. And yes, I've had to go back to bifocals, and I went ahead and got all the bells and whistles: Ultra-Violet Light coating, photogray capabilities, and no-line lenses.

I am seeing things in a whole new light. Literally. When I walked out of the eyeglass place, all of a sudden I felt SHORTER; it seemed like I was "closer" to the ground somehow. A slight disadvantage of bifocals is that while you can see at virtually any distance, instead of your eyes automatically focusing like they used to, you've got to tilt your head down, up, up a little ways, down a little ways and so forth, so you can properly utilize each part of the lenses that you've paid so dearly for. In short, by adjusting the position of your head (and conceivably wearing out your neck in the process), you can accomplish what your eyes used to do by themselves...focus on any distance you choose. So, if I wear out my neck vertebrae re-positioning my skull so I can see properly, will I then have to have steroid shots in my neck, like I'm having to have in my lower back? I do know one thing for sure. The warranty on my body ran out LONG ago.

The dust has settled, at least for a while dept.: The elections are over. In one of today's newspaper editorials, the reason given for the losing efforts by two of our Kootenai County Commissioners in their quest to retain office was, "voters tired of unchecked growth, detached office-holders and business as usual". One of those commissioners has forbidden his employees to access the blogsite at that newspaper, the Spokesman-Review, and has in general remained incommunicado. Sort of a "tantric tantrum". What does this all mean? No one is immune from the possibility of getting voted out if the job ain't gettin' done. It doesn't MATTER whether or not you're a good ol' local boy. And there's no truth to the rumour that guard towers will be built outside the Kootenai County Courthouse to keep Spokesman-Review reporters outta there. As far as I know, anyway.

I bet this will happen around here a lot more dept.: Turns out Wiggett's Antiques, located in the old Wards Building at 4th and Lakeside, is moving south to that old theater building that's being renovated. They have to go somewhere, because the new owner of the old Wards building wants to use the building for different purposes. (Translation: He wants to generate more MONEY than the Wiggett's Antique Business is generating.) So Wiggett's is moving. The Penny Candy store, which was on the same block as Wiggett's, had to move out of its old building, and they may or may not re-open downtown. Something about "unaffordable rent". I thought when the CDA Rezzort was built, that businesses around here would thrive. Well, that's probably true if you're in business as a property owner or real-estate developer. Yep, soon, CDA will have 57 coffee shops in the downtown area, with every third storefront being a sidewalk cafe or bar. Gotta have enough places fer all them downtown-condo dwellers to hang out when they emerge from their lofty heights, after all.

Is this guy here legally dept.: I read today where Mexican President Vicente Fox was over in Yakima, Washington (not far from here), communicating with the many Mexican workers who harvest crops from the fields over there. What's he doing, trying to find out how much Mexican workers will be sending back across the border so he can plan out his country's budget? Could be, things have gotten so bad in his country, that he needed to "get out" for a while. So he came here. (a standard politician's trick) Some may observe, I among them, that maybe, just maybe, Fox should be back in his own country, trying to figure out how to make things better for Mexican citizens so they won't have to sneak across the border because they can't afford food or housing there. Meanwhile, President Bush has said that everyone who lives in America should speak English. I think there are resolutions under consideration which would make English the official language of the U.S. I thought we were already an English-speaking nation, so go figure. That would be like mandating a law that "all cars must have engines". Duh. Meantime, the more we focus on the U.S./Mexico border situation, the more our attentions are diverted away from the Iraq/Iran/Taliban/Al Qaeda/Afghanistan/Wacko Religious fanatics who hate us/etc.etc.etc. situation. Which is probably what this administration is counting on. Actually, as long as someone's not the Unabomber or a terrorist or a creepy career criminal, I don't care what language they speak. Comprende? Conversely, some of our best criminals speak English.

I don't think these guys are speaking English dept.: Lately, I have been wondering about car names. No, not the manufacturer's names, but the names of the "makes" of automobiles. And I'm wondering, what the heck do they mean? What is an "Acura"? What is a "Maxima"? Or a "Corolla"? Are any of these words in the dictionary? Can anyone with linguistical proficiency tell me what a "Tercel" is? Can any practical pontificator out there ponderously proffer the definition of a "Passat"? Now, there are "makes' names" that actually do have a sort of meaning. A "Stanza", being a verse in a poem or song, but how does it relate to the car? Does it have a musical engine? A "Civic" would probably be someone who knows what's going on, but I don't know how that word would be applied to an inanimate object such as a little underpowered excuse for an auto. I used to drive a Dodge "Omni"; but that little car is not all-encompassing in any way. (I'm thinking "omnibus" or "omnipresent", or "omnipotent" here.) I think the car manufacturers say, "well, it sounds good, it'll set us apart, so slap that name on there!"

The things that pass for entertainment dept.: You've gotta give Madonna credit; not for talent, not for any kind of personality, not for anything resembling originality or even the smallest smattering of artistic integrity. No, her biggest claim to fame is that she's got a lotta NERVE. She has to have something; she's not old enough yet to be a Diva, but risks being a has-been if she doesn't toss in a few surprises along the way. Her newest stage act is being CRUCIFIED. No, I don't mean the critics are giving her bad reviews (which they are), but that she is literally hanging from a CROSS. Gosh. I'll guarantee you right now, that St. Peter at the "Pearly Gates" is gonna jot this down in his ledger and will have it ready when Madonna comes a-callin'. What's she gonna do next, go to Rome and do a lap dance for the Pope?

You can be up the creek but still in the lake dept.: Coeur d'Alene Lake has one of the most unique wonders of the world, and I believe it's the only place where such a spectacle exists. (No, I'm not writing about my glasses again.) We have the only river in the world, I believe, that actually flows out into a lake, with its riverbanks being bordered by the lake the river flows into. And, I found a pretty spectacular shot of it here...

Here is where the "Shadowy" St. Joe River enters Coeur d'Alene Lake. You can see the banks of the river as they wind their way into the lake. A nice little visual for you all, after having read all the torturous statements I posted above. That's why I usually put the picture at the end. If I put it at the beginning of a post, people will think, "oh boy, the picture's right here, now I don't have to read what he wrote to get to the photo!"

Up above, I mentioned a business that was forced to relocate due to the whims of the building's owner. That reminds me of a joke I came across a few years ago: You know why the Pet Store had to close? Because it lost its LEASH! (don't everyone groan at once, now)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

For car names, I get a kick out of the Ex Terra ... an SUV called the "former Earth" ...


7:14 AM  
Blogger little ol' me said...

Hi, Kirsten. All I know is, you'll never see a "Dodge Decrepid" or a Chevy Lemona"! I like that "Ex Terra" thing. Maybe they'll come out with an S.U.V. called the "Guzzella" (guzzle, get it?)

11:13 PM  

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