Sunday, May 21, 2006

A good way to get "Steamed Up".
Lately, I've been getting 'steamed' about stuff, haven't I?

"It is what it is" find out what the 'limitations' are, either by having someone else tell you, or experiencing those limitations yourself. As did I the other night, being accosted by a hopped-up teenager in the park after dark, getting threatened, and me left there wondering what the hell happened. I received feedback on this from a few people, and one of the commenters said it only takes one bad apple to wreck your whole night. Yep, how true that is. The park is still a cool place to go. But after dark? Like Al Borland always said, "I don't think so, Tim". I left towards sunset this evening when a couple noisy gangs of kids showed up. And I'm fine. It is what it is, after all.

Anyway, I'm trying to channel my emotions in a positive manner. The most any of us can do is make our own little corner of the world a better, more harmonious place. I think one must take it for granted that there is going to be hostility in this world. There are always going to be people who don't like you, no matter how cool of a person you try to be. And, we are so negatively conditioned, that we remember the "one bad apple" we meet, rather than the many positive people we encounter out there. The last couple of days in the park, I have met some people who are involved in an alcohol-treatment at the "Port of Hope", a facility here in Cd'A. Evidently a group of those folks are transported to the park every now and then. as part of their treatment, I guess.

I've seen some of the "Port of Hopers" in the park while I'm playing guitar, and they're very nice folks. We all talk about 'ups' and 'downs' of depression; though I'm not alcoholic, I get depressed. I probably would've been an alcoholic, except that my body wouldn't let me drink without limitations. So I consider myself lucky in that regard, because I've been told I have an addictive personality. Yep, I must confess, I have been more of a food-aholic than anything else. I've eaten not because of need, but because of want for self-gratification. My life is screwed up, so I eat. I used to go out on the weekends, down a few pitchers of beer, do the "karaoke" thing, and what I think I was doing was using alcohol to 'release myself' after bottling up tension all week. In fact, I know that's what I was doing. And I haven't lived that way for YEARS now. Maybe now, I'm leading the kind of life that I was meant to lead. Low-key, alcohol-free, and as confrontationally-free as possible. Now I gotta work on that 'food thing'.

In the park yesterday, I talked to a guy who was taking his little grand-daughter out for some fresh air. He was involved in finances in Southern California, and we must have talked for over an hour about the war, the economy, what's happening in this area, and just 'stuff' in general. People just seem to come up and talk to me. Maybe I don't need to be so anti-social; I don't know. So, looking back, the "one bad apples" aren't nearly as numerous as the good folks that inhabit the planet. When negative things happen to me, such as the encounter I had in the park a few nights ago, it always takes me a while to put things in perspective. I wish I was one of those kind of people who can just 'laugh things off' but I've never been that way. And I do have to be careful with my emotions. I can't afford to walk around upset. Or, to 'not' do the things I like to do, or go where I like to go because I'm afraid. Charting the best possible course...that's tricky sometimes. I love the City Park. And it's a nice place in the daytime, mostly. It is what it is.

So, getting back to 'channeling the emotions'. I've been negatively steamed lately, but I am trying to turn things around. I have found a positive way to get 'steamed up' and here it is:

This isn't a very big picture; I'm hoping it enlarges when you click on it, but I'm not guaranteeing anything here...this is the Steamer "Idaho", pulling up to dockside in Coeur d'Alene, long about 1910, back when the park was a safer place (Now, STOP THAT!) (I am easily swayed 'off topic'.). I've seen some "painted postcards" of steamships from way back then, but I have never seen this photo. So that's kinda cool. And this picture is for all of you who waded through the limitless paragraphs of self-analyzation above. I hope I never turn into one of these people who think they're so important that everyone will hang onto every word they write. But it might be too late for that in my case. Oh is what it is?

Every now and then, I have to "defrag" my computer to get it to operate properly. With this post, I have hopefully "defragged" my brain, or what's left of it. It's either that, or I shut down and "reboot" myself.


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