Sunday, April 30, 2006

No one, I think, is in my TREE...
I mean, it must be high or low...
--John Lennon, "Strawberry Fields Forever", 1967

It seems like that rogueish scamp, Keith Richard, who by all rights should be DEAD right now, is trying his best to end up that way, according to a news article that a friend sent to me. (And I am highly grateful; without that, I'd have nothing to post today!) The Rolling Stones were evidently in New Zealand, goofing around as only rock stars can, when ol' Keith decided he needed to find a new way to get high. So he promptly climbed a coconut tree, and then proceeded to fall out of it. The big news was that he caused a huge dent in the ground. Did Keith feel any pain? That's a silly question; he fell on his HEAD; of COURSE he felt no pain!

Shortly after THAT incident, ol' Keith then had an accident on a Jet-Ski! I think maybe, this is Keith's Strategy: Since the Rolling Stones' total intake is roughly that of our Social Security System, Keith is trying to become disabled, so that he can get disability payments from the Stones. In short, he wouldn't have to get onstage and play guitar anymore, yet he'd make the same amount of money if his disability interefered with his work (if you can call what he does "work"). After all of this, Keith spent the night in a hospital, under "observation".

This was a new experience for the New Zealand doctors who observed him. After all the chemicals he's ingested over the years, he should be on an "astral plane" somewhere, not running around here on Earth. It could be, that Keith is bionic. Maybe he'll never die! My take on all of this? It could be that drugs are GOOD for you...if you can survive the amount that Keith's consumed over the years, you can fall out of coconut trees, stick your tongue in electrical sockets, and never come down with flu or colds. Yes, folks, it is my hypothesis that Keith's taken so many drugs over the years, that he's now immune to EVERYTHING.

I don't need to do a photo-satire here...any photo that Keith Richards is in is distorted somehow. Indeed, here, we are looking at the visage of a man who may outlive us all. Better living thru chemistry? There may be more to that phrase than we can possibly know.

To paraphrase an old Neil Young song:

Hey, Hey, My, looks like Keith will never die...
There's more in his system than meets the eye...Hey, Hey, My, My...
Out of the blue and into the black...he can O.D. and come right back...
He's done everything... from "grass" to "smack"...Hey, Hey, My, My.


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