Monday, April 24, 2006

I guess no one's safe anymore!
It's a case where someone takes your job and shoves YOU!

One of the easiest things to do in life is to LOSE A JOB. Some workers have quotas imposed upon them, along the lines of producing so many "widgets" per hour. If yew don't produce, yew are HISTORY. Many other employees are relentlessly scrutinized on the job during what is called the "probationary period", in which the worker's arrival times are duly noted, along with how much time they took for breaks, how many restroom breaks they took, how they got along with other workers, and how much they kissed up to management.

"Probationary periods" enable the employer to continually refresh their jobsite with new blood, whenever the old blood's production slows, or when workers' attitudes go downhill for some reason. Of course, the best way for you to keep your job is just to be PERFECT day in and day out. You're not a person, you're a workplace-production-machine. So, never have any problems or get sick, and you'll be able to hold your job for a long, long time.

Most every workplace will issue each worker an "employee handbook", which, if you cut through all of the political-correctness, is basically a document that lists all the things you can possibly do to LOSE your job. It's all written right there. The employer doesn't care if you read it. It's an "out" for them; this way they can fire you, and if you ask why, they'll say, "you violated something in the HANDBOOK." Their way of saying "I told you so" if the fired employee tries to take 'em to the Labor Board.

Still others find themselves in jobs which are well-insulated from the public; all they have to do is show up like good little drone worker-bees, do whatever it is they do, and keep their mouths shut. Mainly these are government jobs, like the ones you find at the White House...all kinds of advisors and advisor-advisors running around with access to sensitive information that they'd better not leak OR ELSE...THIS can happen...


This photo was "leaked" from www.huckleberriesonline.com/blogs/hbo. Not to worry, tho, because the folks who work there will have their jobs longer than the average Pope.

Maybe the White House should just fire everyone and host a JOB FAIR? There is one White House official who is secure in his job, though. He can't get laid off. He still has just over 1,000 days left in his TERM. (See "Bush Clock" in this blog's left margin)

2 Comments:

Anonymous Kick Shoe said...

I'm trying to get fired as we speak. That way I can collect unemployment before I go on food stamps while waiting for social security. I'm not going to be picky. All I need is a bowl of oatmeal a day and a roof over my head. Shouldn't cost too much. Well, as long as I don't buy any gas. Yoda!

8:14 PM  
Blogger little ol' me said...

Hey, Cathy...I got on medical disability, but I'm not eligible for medical assistance until SEPTEMBER of next year. I think they must be waiting for me to die. If I do, I'll come back and HAUNT 'em.

I can't EAT oatmeal. It has the texture of RAT BRAINS. (Not that I would know personally, of course) But how about oatmeal COOKIES and a roof? That sounds good to me! !aodY

10:31 PM  

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