I feel I'll do some damage one fine day...
But I would not be convicted by a jury of my peers,
Still Crazy after all these years...

That's kinda how I feel sometimes. And, that's why I love pop and rock music; there's a lot of philosophy in some of the songs I hold dear. I suppose even "Doo-Wah-diddy-diddy" can be philisophical to a point. Anyway, like Paul Simon, I'm the kind of man "who seems to lean on old familiar ways"...and it has always been hard for me to accept change. I've lost jobs because too many things messed with my sense of order. And, not only are there changes, but there are more and more changes happening, and they're happening faster and faster.

To wit: I wrote yesterday that a crew was starting to tear down the Social Security building. Starting to tear it down. Today it is GONE. Just like that. Each time I'm made aware that something has disappeared all of a sudden, I feel a sense of shock. The Social Security building, gone. So much for "security", I guess. The "social" structure is changing. Instead of down-and-out blue-collar Social Security seekers, there'll be fur-collared condo-dweller wives with their yuppie husbands who are eternally attached to their laptops, forever making deals. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong here anymore.

I can't help but think that we are at the mercy of every single fairly well-to-do up-and-comer who visits this area. They decide to relocate here, and when they do, they proceed to change everything in order to make the area more like what they are used to. In short, if they're going to convert this area to what they're accustomed to, WHY DON'T THEY JUST STAY WHERE THEY ARE? That bothers me a WHOLE LOT. But they don't care. They don't give a damn. And, that's basically the way the whole world is anymore. I try not to think about this too much, because it bums me out. So I'm going to change the subject now before I get further bummed.

I spent much of today outside. I went down to the Spokane River, again with loaves of bread for my feathered friends. I remember Dad used to take my sister and me swimming there, back in the days when you could actually DRIVE close to the riverbank. There's a steel gate that prevents any automotive beach-trekking now. Reminds me of another old song, "There's a Chain Around the Flowers; There's a Fence Around the Trees"...(old song by the Lewis and Clarke Expedition from 1969). And it was an absolutely gorgeous day. The blue sky was dotted with clouds; this was the most perfect day so far this year.

And you know what? As I headed home, I stopped off at the grocery store. I got out of the car easily, and walked smoothly into the store, and I came to a realization that shocked me: I ACTUALLY FEEL GOOD!!! Wait a minute, that's not me. I need agony, I need to suffer, I need pain, I need something to complain about...could it be that I'm recovering my HEALTH? As long as I don't make any sudden moves (my back is still a little touchy), I'M FINE! And I'm not USED to that. I may have to be careful with my back the rest of my life, and I have to take gout medication the rest of my life, but I felt GOOD today. Huh? What?

For those of you who were stuck inside a manufacturing plant or some oblique office cubicle all day (ala Dilbert), THIS was the kind of day it was in Coeur d'Alene...



When the weather's great, it amplifies the beauty of the area. That's what entices all o'them condo-building yuppies who are escaping their own personal hells to come up here and create brand new hells, right here in the middle of paradise. How much of the beauty of our environment is gonna get gobbled up before people come to their senses and limit the height of downtown buildings and regulate the amount of homes per acre? I have long loved this area, but I don't like what it's becoming, AT ALL. But...and this is important...as long as I can gaze out over the water...I'll be okay. Crazy, but okay.
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Here's a little bit o'trivia: What famous country-western performer was in the Lewis & Clarke Expedition, the group I mentioned above? Answer: Michael Martin Murphy, only then he didn't use the "Martin". He also did the really immortal song, "Wildfire". That song is three minutes of pure MAGIC.