I've got 'C-D'. Computerile Dysfunction. A really bad case of
BLOGGERUS INTERRUPTUS!!!

I think all of the employees at "Blogger.com" are a bunch of functional IDIOTS. I have already TYPED this posting ONCE. And, when I got done, a little line popped up at the bottom of the screen saying, "connection lost. Saving and Publishing may fail." In short, I spent the better part of an hour typing, only to have THE WHOLE DAMN BLOGPOST LOST!!! C'mon, guys, get it together!!! So I'm doing it over (muttering intelligible profanities all the while).

Diamonds in the snow are forever dept.: I saw a curious ad in the Coeur d'Alene De-Press today. In it was pictured the owner of Clark's Jewelry, with his hands in a praying position, hoping that the insurance company cuts him a check pretty soon. Every year, that jewelry store advertises it will refund all purchases in a given time period, if it snows "so much" on a "selected winter's day" at one of our local ski resorts. Well, this year, Mother Nature socked it to him, and the Jewelry Store became "Refund City". And evidently, if this happens, insurance will cover his losses. Assuming this guy is really sweating it out, as portrayed in the ad, I'm wondering, "why set yourself up for that?" Why not just give everyone a percentage-off during the Christmas buying season?

Anyway, after the owner says he hopes the insurance company pays up soon, then the ad says, "let's have more fun", assuming the jewelry store is gonna do that again. Huh? What? Well, okaay...maybe I'm the one getting snowed here; maybe all is actually well; maybe this was just good copy for an ad. Whatever the case, he doesn't look like he's having much fun in the photo. Still, the ad got noticed by me, which means his ad did work. I once knew of a restaurant that was part of one of these "coupon book" things; the owner paid for a coupon that gave a really good "2 for 1" deal on steak dinners, and in fulfilling that offer to everyone, he went out of BUSINESS! He was losing money on ALL of those coupons! My advice to this jewelry store? It's nice to have Christmas Spirit and all that, but don't give the store away, for cryin' out loud!

I'm fixing a hole where the rain gets in dept.: North Idaho may not be the most affluent place on planet Earth, but I know of two places here in Kootenai County that won't be "in the hole" much longer. One is the old pit that used to belong to Central Pre-mix; the other is the pit up on Ramsey Road which supplied road building materials to the Highway district. The proposed "Kroc" center would be located where the Ramsey Pit is now, and a park with a pond will occupy the Central Pre-mix pit. Putting a pond in a pit? We could re-write the song thusly: "I'm fixing a hole...with a smaller hole...to keep water from wandering...there I will...go!!!!!!" (Many apologies there to the Sgt. Pepper era Beatles!)

All we hear is...Radio Ga-Ga...Radio goo-goo...Radio Blah-Blah dept.: (from the 1986 Queen song, "Radio Ga-Ga"). The communications giant, Citadel Communications, is set to take over a whole bunch of nearby Spokane, Wash. radio stations, among them "oldies 101" and KEZE-AM, two of my favorite stations. The official line is that there are no format changes pending, should Citadel accomplish their megalomaniacal acquisition goals. Yeah, right. If there's a way to make more money, ALL of those formats will change faster than you can put on a new pair of socks.

We don't just play old songs, we play the songs you love dept.: Our CDA radio station, KVNI, needs a format overhaul. The station tells you over and over that it plays "the oldies you love", specializing in doo-wop and other forms of 50's music. So, why do I keep hearing Motown groups on KVNI? That's all '60s stuff. Why do I hear "Liar Liar" by the Castaways, which is mid-60s garage band rock and roll? Why do I hear "The Pied Piper" by Crispian St. Peters, a 1966 pop song that has no doo-wop elements in it? And, they also play "You're My World" by Cilla Black; so much for the all-American ingredient of their format. For, you see, Cilla...is ENGLISH. I don't hate KVNI's music; on that station, I've heard a lot of old obscure 50's songs I'd never hear anywhere else. But...there are "holes" in the format that need to be..."fixed".

We'll get there sooner or later dept.: Imagine a time when CDA Lake was actually PEACEFUL in the summer. No annoying personal watercraft zigzagging all over the place with motors that are more annoying than lawnmowers at 7am. Imagine no hot-rod powerboats zooming along the surface at Mach 10. In short, it's just you and the wind and the waves lapping against your boat...I shall take you back to such a time...

...the year was 1930; the location, Loff Bay, 'somewhere' on CDA Lake. I've only lived around here all my life, yet I don't know one bay from the other. I think there's a lot of us CDA residents who never get on the lake. We're too BROKE to buy boats, and I'm not ABOUT to pay $400 an hour, or whatever it is, to rent a boat from Haggadone Hostility Corporation! Also imagine a time when no one was in a HURRY. The ladies here sure aren't.

BLOG UPDATE dept.: A reader commented that Loff Bay is actually on the west side of CDA Lake, just north of Rockford Bay. So now I know. Also, a while back, someone sarcastically commented that "red print was used in the Bible to indicate what JESUS said", indicating I was being presumptious. To that individual I can only say, "while I may not be able to walk on water, I reserve the right to use RED TYPE any damn time I want!" Quote unquote.

I'm sure glad they invented Rock and Roll dept.: I do not pretend to be any kind of effete cultural snob who drinks champagne with my pinkie extended. I don't do socials, plays, exhibitions or any kind of event where "appearances" are required. And, I don't listen to classical music; it drives me NUTS. I was having coffee today, and over the speakers came classical stuff. Tricky violin parts. Intricate playing. Notes zipping up and down, all over the place. After listening to this stuff for about 45 minutes, I kept conjuring up a mental picture of mosquitoes hovering over me with that high little "whine" they make, and I had to ask the coffee guy to change the channel. I am sure classical musicians are highly skilled and well-trained. But, the music doesn't GROOVE. The music has no BOTTOM. No solidity, no weight, it's just "there". I like the occasional Strauss Waltz, and I love the "Nutcracker", but most of this stuff just doesn't inspire me AT ALL. Musical Ga-Ga. Musical Blah-Blah.

Who put the "dit" in the "dit-dit-dit" dept.: The year was 1961. Songwriter Barry Mann, made a record, and it was the only time he ever hit the Top-40; his "Who Put The Bomp" went all the way up to #7!!! It's a fun song, and I mean it from the depths of my "boogity-boogity-shoop".

1961 also brought about the 3rd annual Coeur d'Alene Diamond Cup, that long-gone but not-forgotten crazy time the Lake City experienced each summer. The closest thing we have to hydros now are those annoying personal watercraft. Sheesh. In 1961, President Kennedy was headed for the Bay of Pigs fiasco, and The Beatles were playing 8 hours a night, 6 days a week in Hamburg, Germany, while their manager Brian Epstein was trying to get them signed to a record company. Fame was not far away. I was in first grade by then. I attended St. Thomas School, but that was my only year in the parochial system; we were not a Catholic family, so subsequently I became a slave to good ol' district 271 here in CDA; superintendent of schools back then was S. Clay Coy. And Chubby Checker hit #1 with a tuneful little ditty called "The Twist".

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I wanted to get this post done in time so I could watch the Gonzaga game. But, Blogger.com "rejected" me. So I had to do it over, with the game on. Maybe, tho, it's better this way...otherwise, I'd be agonizing over what's happening in the game. As it is, the game is gliding by, I'm mildly aware of it, and the suspense isn't killing me. I'm no big basketball devotee, but "go Zags!"