Friday, November 25, 2005

"O BURY ME NOT...ON THE LONE PRAIRIE...
Where the coyotes howl...and the wind blows free..."
--old traditional cowboy song from the 1800's...

That old song was sung around campfires when cowboys had to rustle up them' ol' dogies and take 'em to the last roundup. Wide, open spaces. A place where you could breathe. Anyway, while reading the paper this morning, one of the news items made me think of that old song.

On our Rathdrum prairie, the wide open spaces are being consumed at the rate of about 1,000 acres a year, by greedy developers who build cheap vinyl-sided houses and surround them with fenced barriers. Pop! Pop! Pop! Every time you go out there, you see a new subdivision. The article stated that about 3,000 to 4,000 acres of open space remain on the Prairie, at this very moment.

If you do the math, that means, by 2009, we'll have lost the chance to preserve any green space out there. The only flat land left will be where cemeteries are! And I wouldn't put it past the developers to try and get THAT land someday. "Hey, how 'bout we dig up all these graves and stack the coffins one on top of the other, 'cos we're running outta land and people will pay SKYROCKETING prices to live here!" Scary thought!

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Baby, it's cold outside dept.: Gray skies. Drizzle. And cold. BRRRR! That's the way it's been lately. I went out for breakfast today, and I discovered yet another use for a hot cup of coffee. It makes one of the best HAND-WARMERS ever! Just the thing for the ol' arthritic wrists & knuckles. While I was in the restaurant, an elderly couple walked in and sat down. They were both "quite advanced" senior citizens. I heard the old guy talking to someone else, and he said he and his wife had been married 57 years. Wow. I can't stay in a relationship for 57 DAYS!

Blogger's disclaimer dept.: While proofreading this last item, I felt compelled to put in the following, for what it's worth: Regarding the hot cup of coffee being a good 'hand warmer', NO, DON'T POUR THE COFFEE ON YOUR HANDS! You merely wrap your hands around the cup, which is full of hot coffee! Whew! (Remember how McDonalds got in trouble over hot coffee?)

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Does nothing make sense in the world, or is it just me? dept.: You remember good ol' Michael Brown. He was the head of "FEMA", the agency that dropped the ball during the New Orleans Hurricane Disaster. He was criticized roundly for not being qualified to be in that position. Ok, that much we know. Now, here's where it gets interesting. He is now in charge of a DISASTER CONSULTATION FIRM that advises homes and businesses about what to do in, you guessed it, DISASTERS! I don't know about you, but putting him in charge of disaster consultation would be kinda like putting Pee Wee Herman in charge of a children's DAYCARE facility. Or, putting George Dubya Bush in the Presidency! (whoops, we already DID that...TWICE!)

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Isn't it just easier to tell the TRUTH, for crying out loud dept.: New Mexico Guv'nor Bill Richardson comes clean on a LIE he's been telling for almost 40 years? That he once was a draft pick of the Kansas City A's baseball team, when he actually WASN'T? What is the point of lying about that? It doesn't MEAN anything. Except, of course, that he's a LIAR. I think, if yer gonna LIE, lie about something that we actually CARE about so we can vote ya out of office, like the Washington State voters did in George Nethercutt's case. That way, we can all have a nice, juicy SCANDAL! Oh, what fun! Nethercutt LIED when he said he believed in term limits; that was the platform he defeated Tom Foley on. Ah, but the voters remembered. Nethercutt, unsuccessful in his senate bid, is now a lawyer. Which is where he belongs, the sleazeball.

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I'm not a "hunk", I'm a "chunk" dept.: I heard a radio commercial today, for one of the local fitness centers. They want you to spend all kindsa mega-bucks so they can train you, so that you'll be buffed, toned, sculptered, and egomaniacally inclined because you look so wonderful. The commercial said, "Come in NOW, start exercising at OUR FACILITY, and you'll be BUFF BY NEW YEARS!"...Hmmm! As I look at my calendar watch here, well, there's 5 days left in NOvember, and 31 days in DecemBRRRR, which means, as of today, you'll be "BUFF" in just 36 days!. What do they do, put you under anesthetic and slice the fat OFF you when you enroll? Because that's the only way I could be "BUFF" in under 40 days!

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It's A Gas, Tanks a Lot dept.: I'm kinda wond'rin what's the catch here...I went up to my favorite gas station, A & D mini-mart, and paid only $2.04 for unledded! Yet, at the convenience store at 15th and Sherman, it was $2.18. Quite a discrepancy there. I put in $20 each time, regardless of what the price is. Nice to see the ol' dollar being stretched a little bit here. Sure would be nice if the same thing happened with Natural Gas. How 'bout it, AVISTA???

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Okay, it's time now for some silly stuff dept.: I used to like all of that wacky Mad magazine-type humor, where some product or a movie, or TV show would be intelligently (or not) satirized. I seem to carry that humor with me today. It gets me thru this crazy life.

Here's a case in point. This is a sticker, and I used to see 'em around in various places, and they'd satirize a well-known product...in this case, "Hungry Jack" pancakes get victimized here. Yep, you can be one HEAVY DUDE if you eat "Hungry JERK" Extra-heavy pancakes! You can see here, that the guy on the front of the box is actually taking a bite out of the PLATE, which might just be more edible!

I remember another such sticker, which depicted "CRUST" Toothpaste..."CLEANS THE TEETH...RIGHT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!" I wonder if "Crust Toothpaste" featured that extra-special ingredient..."Flushistan!" After all, "Crest" was touted as having that cavity preventer, "Fluoristan."
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This is almost too "ugly" to blog dept.: Yeah, I know you can't wait for today's "Ugly Sticker" installment. It is truly what the world has been anticipating. So, without further adieu, may I present HARVEY...

Well, yeah, he's ugly, but he seems to be friendly, and quite easily amused. It is obvious that he has no trouble "watching what he's doing". He can just pop out an eye when he needs something to do. He is quite an astute individual; he is one of those who can "see the total picture."

Of course, one day he'll get old, just like all of us do, and if he ever has to go in for a vision examination, he'll be in a heap of trouble. He'll get quite a large bill, since the optometrist would have to examine all those eyes. Can't you just hear Harvey's Mom yell in exasperation: "Harvey, put that eye back in your head, it's dinnertime!"

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Well, fellow space cadets, this is where the voyage ends for now. I'd probably say that this edition went from the sublime to the ridiculous, but checking back, I couldn't find any sublime stuff at all. Guess I'm gonna have to work on that.

2 Comments:

Blogger Dogwalkmusings said...

Okay so we fans didn't check in everyday since turkey day. Wouldda yesterday except the computer was offline thanks to Adelphia all day. I'm here now reading you as usual.

10:28 AM  
Blogger little ol' me said...

Well, Ms. Dogwalker, you need to always maintain your "minimum daily requirement" of blog-reading. Even if it's the writings of a disturbed malcontent such as I. Hope ya had a good Thanksgiving. (I have "fans"? Maybe I should go on tour?)

5:31 PM  

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