Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Honorary retitlement dept.: I'm thinking, that in honor of wintertime, (not that I honor winter, I kinda despise it) maybe I should re-title this blog. Yeah, I think I'll do that. Only I won't do anything drastic. How about, just for today, I give this blog the honorary title of "COLD AIR"? Because, baby, it's co-o-o-old outside!

It's beginning to look like one o'them winters dept.: Coeur d'Alene, being on the west side of the continental divide, can have wildly inconsistent winters, depending on "El Nino", that warm-ocean condition) that brings warm temperatures and a lotta rain. But, it kinda looks like what's happening this year is "El Nadie" in other words, 'nothing' is going on in the ocean, which leaves Mother Nature to rub her hands together and think, "oh boy, THIS YEAR, I can make things MISERABLE for everyone". And then she dumps tons of snow on us all season long. That's my highly scientific explanation, anyway.

This is an actual picture of snow removal in Coeur d'Alene (I think it's on one of the city's websites). Not sure which neighborhood it is, though. I have two guesses: either it's the "Fruitland lane" area north of Appleway, or it's one of the side streets south of Mullan Avenue, down below 15th Street. Your guess is as good as mine.

So here's where you come in, dear reader. Give me your best guess as to the location pictured here. Please leave a comment down below.

I know these guys do their best to keep the streets clear, but I do wish there was a way they could "lift their blades" whenever they pass a driveway. I understand that in some cities, residents can actually stick a red flag or something by their driveway, and the snowplow drivers see it, and "don't plow there". Once, I went outside, only to find my Chevy Chevette literally BURIED by the snowplow. And, that plowed snow is packed, concentrated, and is far harder to shovel than the freshly fallen stuff. I was so mad at the city, I took my shovel, proceeded to liberate my car, throwing the snow BACK INTO the street. It's a good thing the cops didn't come by and catch me doing that. I woulda been cuffed, taken into custody, and my snow shovel woulda been used as evidence against me. Isn't life grand?

Keep it under lock and key department: During one of our more "abundant" snowfalls, I think it was in 1998, I actually heard that there was an epidemic of SNOW SHOVEL THIEVERY! I can just see it now, black-market snow shovels, surreptitiously distributed by the Mob. And, instead of selling "insurance", Mob guys can stalk the downtown streets, forcing merchants to pay extortional prices to keep their sidewalks clean. Sounds like a "Fox" TV series, don't it?

Honorary retitlement, Vol 2 dept.: Okay, okay, I'm screwing around with this blog a little bit today...we're rounding the corner pretty fast, so hang on...anyway, I saw a story on the news today that made me look at things a bit differently. Just when you think you've heard it all, right? It turns out some developers in New York City are paying $200 a square foot for AIR. What they actually pay for is the right to build an exceedingly tall building, which, of course, takes the place of the air that was there before the building was built. So, I can retitle THIS section of the blog, "Precious Air".

Giving this issue a local slant, it makes me think that maybe if high-rise developers around here have to "pay for the air", they'll keep their buildings low. Well, since Mr. Hagadone has been able to usurp all other regulations (building height, proximity to lake, etc.), he's probably found a way to get around this air issue. Unless he already OWNS the air. Which is a distinct possibility.

Grinding it into the ground dept.: I don't understand, sometimes, the logic (or ill-logic) involved in the scheduling of commercials on TV, Radio, whatever. It seems that, if it's a really big offer, or something totally new, the business, manufacturer, restaurant, vendor, or whatever wants to have their commercial aired at every FRIGGIN' commercial break in the show, and if it's a long commercial break, you'll see the same commercial TWICE in one break!

Dear Business People, there is such a thing as "Burnout Factor". After seeing a commercial TOO MUCH, it has the opposite effect! If I see that damn Arby's commercial where the construction guys are going "hubba-hubba!" over a guy carrying an Arby's Reuben Sandwich ONE MORE TIME, I'm gonna UPCHUCK! Actually, "too much of a commercial" would be really great for the retail TV business, because commercial overexposure makes me wanna throw a BRICK at my TV screen! Sheeeeeeeeeeesh!!!!! Actually, it's good for the battery industry too. Why? Because batteries in TV remotes don't last as long as they used to because I find myself hitting the "Mute" button time and time again to block out those annoying, manipulative commercial breaks.

Cover your eyes, this is really gross dept.: As you know, I've been featuring "Ugly Stickers" in my posts for a while now. A depiction of some sort of hideous, deformed monster, with someone's name on it, is the format of your average "Ugly Sticker". I've saved a bunch of 'em in my computer, alphabetically arranged, and after all this time, I'm only up to the "J's". If I play my cards right, I might have a different "Ugly Sticker" each day, from now thru Christmas! (I'm not sure if that's good news or not!)

This, folks, is JAMES. The thought that came to mind when I first saw this picture was pretty weird. Try to imagine, if you will, that you're sitting down to dinner. A great big glass dish of SPAGHETTI is in the center of the table, and boy, does it look good! (I'm making myself hungry here)...and then, imagine, all of a sudden, the spaghetti begins MOVING...and up out of the bowels of that hot dish, rises "JAMES!"

Hmmm...that might be great fodder for a horror movie: "REVENGE OF THE CASSEROLES". Hey, that's no dumber than a lot of Hollywood movie ideas out there!


Well, another one of these weird posts grinds mercifully to a halt. Actually, after the previous long post, I thot I'd run out of ideas. Which remains a possibility, after evaluating the content of THIS post. Hopefully, I won't have to re-title it "STALE AIR"!


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