Sunday, October 30, 2005


Murder, scandal, politics, debating, investigations, yadda yadda yadda. All these things are components of the news. Without bad news, there'd be no reason for newscasts. Yadda yadda yadda. But, in the news business, there's such a thing as "kickers". In short, a little off-the-wall news item that perhaps is designed to prove that even the scandal-mongering talking heads have a sense of humor, too.

At the end of the evening newscast tonight, there was a story about California's newest firefighters, who provide a unique service. In fact, they "fight nature with nature". I'm talking about GOATS...

In short, the goats roam the hillsides, eating almost everything in sight. Goats, of course, are known for eating plants almost down to the roots. Which is why goat farmers don't get along with sheep farmers. The goats leave virtually nothing behind. In fact, your typical goat consumes 5% of its body weight each day. A typical herd of goats can munch down an area equal to your typical golf course in nothing flat. And there are people who actually RENT OUT herds of goats! American capitalism in action!

This, of course, cuts down on the amount of foliage that can burn. Heck, the goats even eat POISON OAK! Maybe we oughta turn a herd loose on those annoying red ego-dendrums which mark the territory of a local hospitality magnate. That could be fun!

Halloween is upon us. BOO! Remember when kids used to say, "trick or treet, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!" Or perhaps you've heard the old joke: "What do you get when you grab a ghost from behind? A handful of SHEET!" When I became too old to trick or treat, I would take my little sister around to all the neighborhoods across the city I used to visit. She'd ride on the bar of my bicycle...she would take two sacks; first she would fill up her big sack, and then she'd fill up a little sack for me. She didn't mind. She got to trick-or-treat in neighborhoods she normally wouldn't get to go to. Halloween in CDA, way-back when.

I've heard ROD STEWART is releasing a FOURTH CD of "old" songs. Is this overkill? Who is buying these things? Sure, Rod's a great singer. To me, it feels like he's thumbing his nose at rock and roll. "Sell-out", I'm thinking. I remember back in the '70s...he was a really great SONGWRITER. Rod, what happened? Have you ever heard his song, "Mandolin Wind"? Absolutely masterful. Now he's doing "Making Whoopee" with ELTON JOHN. (In song, that is) (I felt I had to clarify that) I love Elton's music. But my image of him is tarnished. A recent "biography" program showed him sitting on the couch with his newest boyfriend. Sorry, I guess I'm just not that liberal.

Musical mis-match dept.: I heard that the macho-swaggering PAUL RODGERS, of Bad Company fame, is joining QUEEN? As with Elton, I loved Freddie Mercury's singing and writing, even if I didn't care for his lifestyle. And now Paul Rodgers is gonna take Freddie's place? Paul Rodgers in Queen would be sorta like HULK HOGAN guest-appearing with the New York Ballet Co. I just don't get it!

It must be Standard Time dept.: The shroud of darkness arrived a wee-bit early today. Gosh. I don't know; a day is a day is a day, I suppose. So now I've gotta cope with that, in addition to there being no more baseball on TV. I 'spose there's always football! In tonite's Buffalo-New England game, a young player who had a mild stroke earlier this season, is back in the lineup. I hope he does okay. With that, I'll close. Gonna watch the game now!

For those who don't come by here on the weekends, there are a couple of "new" posts below this one. I wouldn't want you to miss out on any of the excitement, after all! (ZZZZZzzzzzzzz)


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