Sunday, November 21, 2010

NEW & EXCITING HORIZONS IN MEDICINE...
...no, you won't find any of them here...
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There's an asthma remedy that's being touted in the TV commercials these days. I think it's a 60-second commercial, though I'm not sure. lt begins by bragging about how great this asthma medicine is so great at relieving the tendency to have sudden attacks, and since I've known folks with asthma, I'm glad that there's another additional something out there for them. As the commercial continues, a man and a woman alternate disclaimer after disclaimer..."This medicine can provoke asthma attacks"...this medicine increases the possibility of making the patient grow a third ear...this medicine should not be taken if you have symptoms of 'this', 'that', or 'something else'. What I'm getting at is, why would someone with asthma consider taking this stuff; you've gotta BREATHE, after all. Why would an asthmatic begin taking something that could make them have an attack? Maybe that's a worst-case scenario; let's hope so.
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I've never had asthma, but I've had symptoms of Gout. Lord, have mercy, those symptoms are awful. Everything they say is true; gout attacks can get so bad that sheets or blankets can cause pain. Just lately, I've been seeing commercials for a Gout Medicine. I think it's great that, after all these years, Gout is being widely regarded as something that is a severe issue, especially during flare-ups. The issue I have with this particular medicine (again, I can't recall the name of it) is more 'expense-related'. Anytime you see a prescribed-drug widely advertised, that's gonna be one mighty expensive drug (gotta pay those advertising costs!), and will be so unless, if ever, it becomes a Generic Drug. If you think you are suffering from Gout, what you do is have a blood test, which will reveal the amount of Uric Acid in your system. Then find a rheumatoligist who'll work with you, to determine how much "allo" you need to take each day.
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If you have gout symptoms, ask your doctor about ALLOPURINOL. It's a Generic, it's highly affordable (often $10-$15 for a month's worth), and it's the Real Deal. It is said that allopurinol can actually bring on Gout Symptoms for the first couple of weeks, but if you've ever had a severe Gout attack, it's a case of "Give me anything! Drop an Anvil on my head! Whatever!!!" Allopurinol has never caused me one iota of pain. I'm now taking 600mg of Allopurinol Daily and have had no trouble. It's a lifetime commitment; you have to keep Gout at bay by medicating every single day for the rest of your life. Good thing Allopurinol is cheap! Another weird thing about gout: One of the Royal Families in England or Europe had it, and that's the reason why gout was known as the "rich man's disease". All I can say to that is, "Where's The Money?"Actually, the Green Dragon (left) is indicative of how it feels when Gout is shooting your joints with Arrows of Uric Acid. Please, gout people, bypass the fancy and costly medication on the TV commercial, and set your sights on Allopurinol. It's one of the oldest drugs in existence; it's been manufactured in one way or another since before 1900. Time to stop all the medicine-stuff now; if I go much longer, the AMA will persecute me and prosecute me for practicing without a license.
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Recently, The World's Most Stupid-Ever Commercial has begun airing on the Telly...it's for something called the GYRO-BOWL. It consists of a bowl which is somehow mounted into a swivel device which Makes Snacking So Much More Fun! If you've got, say, a Gyro-bowl full of Oatmeal (which tastes like reptile brains), you can tip the bowl any way you want to and the glop you're eating Won't Fall Out. It's basically a bowl over a bowl from what I can see, and it's obvious the inventor had waay too much time on his hands. Who's gonna take a bowl-full of peaches, oatmeal, reptile brains or whatever and EAT IT IN THE CAR while Mommy drives the Brat with the bowl to Daycare so she can get some relief from all the trouble her kid is causing her. Or Maybe instead she's driving a Piglet home from school and the little Pig cries, "Wheeeeee...Wheeeeeeeee....WHEEEEEEE.....!!!" All The Way Home. (oops, excuse me, I think I've accidentally bumped into a Geico commercial...) This is where Oatmeal comes in handy...since it has the texture of wet cement, you can STUFF a bunch of it into the little pig's yap. There's always a solution, huh? I wanna see a commercial featuring a guy standing on his head, eating from this contraption.

Another difference between Costly Drugs and Generics: I pay $30 a month for Generic "Ambien". Before that, I was taking "Lunesta", Not available as a generic; a little bottle cost me $100. That would be ironic; taking a sleep med that costs so much that you lose sleep over it! Lunesta also leaves an odd rain-gutter taste in your mouth. Ackthptf.

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