FOOTBALL, LATE-NITE SHOWS, SCORPIONS & THE INTERNET...

...I've tried to cover it all within the confines of this posting...

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Today, the New Orleans Saints beat Green Bay 31-28 in overtime, and I'd say that fans who sprung for high-in-the-sky-priced tickets got their moneys' worth. The Saints were just downright Brutal. Brett Favre is going to be the most sore player in history this time around, 'cos the Saints' defense absolutely Creamed him all afternoon long. During the regular season, there are lots of 'turkey' games where one team is leading 27-0 at halftime, and the game is basically over, 'cos the winning team put in the whole second-string on offense and defense in the second half and the score ends up being something like 43-0. So this game was something very real and very special. Sure, Favre was intercepted, and he had some awkward-looking throws, but again, New Orleans, today, reminded me of the Pittsburgh Steelers of the '70s, in the way they Mauled the opposing team. And especially in the way they mauled Favre. I'd say that New Orleans has a lock on winning the Super Bowl. Their opponents need not show up. I wouldn't be surprised this time around, if Brett Favre just Retired. I know he's said he would do that, but he changed his mind. Personally, I'll continue rooting for Favre as long as he is playing the game. But the beating he took today was Absolutely Merciless. It was kinda sad to watch, really. The Indianapolis Colts, with QB Peyton Manning leading the way, are the Saints' opponents in the upcoming Super Bowl. And those who predict such things are siding with the Colts, giving them a just-over-three-point edge.

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Something else which has gotten a lotta attention is the situation with the Late Night TV shows; you know the gang; Jay, Conan, and whoever else hosts the type of show in which Hollywood Stars appear to glorify themselves, spouting forth gibberish that we wouldn't listen to, had there been an Average Person Instead as Jay's or Conan's or whoever's Guest. I haven't watched late-nite TV since the time back in the '90s when David Letterman switched networks. His show was a whole-lot more fresh before he made the switch from NBC; it's either that or his semi-bitter personality had just gotten on my NERVE. That said, Conan O'Brien, who carved out a name for himself doing the post-'Tonight Show' program ('Late Night'?) actually did a fairly good job; he's humorous, a tad geeky, and unpredictable in a not-too-forbidding way. Conan somehow was easier to take than Jay Leno or David Letterman. Perhaps it's Conan's built-in goofiness; a nerd hosting a late-night talk show. Well, NBC moved Jay Leno's program to 10PM, and after years of sweating it out, Conan achieved his Dream of Dreams; finding himself in, ta-da, the Host Position for "The Tonight Show". Hometown Boy Made Good! For a talk-show host, "The Tonight Show" is As Far As One Can Go. Conan was King! Three Months Later, NBC Changed its Mind, sending Jay back to "The Tonight Show, while Conan was forced to resume again, his "Late Night" duties. Only, Conan didn't accept the offer. I don't blame him. That was NBC's way of saying, "hey Conan, we like you, but not enough for you to continue hosting "The Tonight Show" since Jay's still out there". Stick it to 'em, Conan. NBC, can you say 'buyout'? I knew ya could...

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Music News (or at least 'news to me'): I've just recently found out that The German Rock Band, The Scorpions, are going to disband. But they're evidently going on a world tour which could take who-knows-how-long 'till to complete. The Scorpions are one of the Heavier Bands that I used to listen to (and still do occasionally). Their music is/was unique in that, while the band stomps and pounds, their songs retained a sense of melodicism. In my collection are several of their albums, along with a couple of cassettes I found second-hand that I've never seen on vinyl. The group was founded by Rudy Schenker, rhythm guitarist, who is also Michael Schenker's brother (a quite formidable guitarist who got his start in the band "UFO", another group that could rock). Their singer, Klaus Meine, had to have nodules on his vocal cords removed, and he's sounding better than ever. Most of all, The Scorpions Really Rock. And They Rock Ultra-Hard. Back in the 1980's, I went to a concert featuring the band Cheap Trick, and starring as The Support Band was the then-relatively-unknown Scorpions. Of course, by that date I had a couple of their albums in my collection. And, boy, was it Loud. I'll never forget it.

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Finally, I have a question which hopefully someone out there can answer. It's been on my mind for a while. That question is, "Where's The Internet?" Is it owned by anybody? When you want to open up a website and you've gotta pay to do that, who gets the money? And when the Internet gets money, who does The Internet have to pay its bills to? Is there an address where you can send The Internet, and whoever's in charge of it, a Letter? Is there some big goombah somewhere who controls the Internet, supervising his employees' activities and making sure the money keeps rolling in? Is that how Al Gore continues to make post-political-career money? Is there some sort of Grand Building that Houses the Internet? Can you go and personally visit The Internet, wherever it might be located? Can you visit The Internet in the same way you can visit the Sears Tower? In other words, Who Owns The Internet that we all visit day after day? Or is it just something else that's out there, such as The Ocean. Ships sail on The Ocean. We surf on The Internet. Same thing, maybe? I don't know. You have all of these Internet Providers all over the world, but Where Does The Internet that we all visit have ITS headquarters? Whose Internet Is It? Whoever that person is, he/she would dwarf the Importance of Bill Gates and his cronies. It's just something that I've been wondering for a while.

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I realize that trying to contemplate The Internet here is probably as fruitless and exasperating as posing the question, "Does Deep Space come to an end, and if so, What's beyond it?". Hopefully someone can tell me, in such a way that a non-technical drone like I can understand...

BLIND-SIDED BY A THOMAS ORGAN...
...strange, sometimes, the things that seize one's mind...
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I was in the local Goodwill Store last week; hardly a week goes by that I don't go into some type of thrift store somewhere; it's a good rainy-day activity when I feel like I'm being cooped up by the Fairly Eternal Rains of Southwest Oregon. Sometimes it feels like it's raining all over the world. But, I keep telling myself, "hey, it's fairly warm and you don't have to shovel rain." Eternally thankful am I for that. So much for the present; let's delve into the past as I take you upon yet another Psychic Journey...
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One really big childhood memory I have is of Organ Music; my Mom being the spiritual lady that she was, whenever her fancy dictated, she'd be playing Hymns on her Thomas "color-glo" Organ in the Living Room. She could also play a bit of boogie-woogie. The "Color-Glo" feature was operated by an on-button underneath the keyboard, on the underside, and when it displayed, it actually illuminated the lower keyboard with various colors along with names of the notes, and somehow this made it easier to play chord patterns in songs. I'm a total klutz when it comes to keyboards, and those who know their way around a piano or organ absolutely fascinate me. I can't make my hands jump around like that. Mom never had to use the color-glo function. She didn't need to. She could think of a song, and just play it. How'd she do that? With guitar, there's only one hand to finger the notes, but keyboards, well, they're another story altogether...
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When I was a kid, Mom & Dad had me take piano lessons, which was absolutely excruciating. I couldn't do finger-patterns for both hands at the same time. It was just too hard. These were the same parents who forced Violin Lessons on me. I took a lot of crap from other kids because I had to lug a violin to school. I was fairly good at it, although I topped out in 7th grade. Like everything else in life, I reached an average degree of competency and then could rise no further. That's me, all right. It's the same on guitar. My fingers are too clumsy to play a lot of single-notes; I've seen really great guitarists, and I'm just not that talented. So I've taken instead, to learning as many songs as possible, and I put my own 'spin' on them. I can bash out guitar chords, sing halfway decently, but if I was gonna be filthy rich by playing guitar, I'd be filthy rich by now. So what comes forth from my guitar is a whole-lot of rhythm, plus various 'shadings' of chords so I'll sound more proficient than I actually am.
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I don't understand at all, how someone can Play Keyboards by Ear. I just don't get it. There are so many keys, and I've tried over and over to play keyboards, but I just don't have the feel for it. When a person plays by ear, how do they know where the right notes are? There are, after all, 88 keys on a keyboard, and in the case of a double-tiered organ, there's two sets of keyboards, or 178 keys total. Plus on a keyboard, while your hands are busy jumping around independently of each other there are the Bass Pedals under yer feet that ya gotta operate, independently of both independent hands. I hated organist Bob Ralston on the old Lawrence Welk shows; he made it look so easy and he'd smile right into the camera, probably thinking, "I can do this and you CAN'T." Well, Duh...
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As I was browsing through the Goodwill Store's contents last week, I went into the furniture section of the store, where amongst the various chairs, sofas, CD storage racks, and TVs, I came upon a Thomas Organ. And even though it wasn't the same model as my Mom played, it stopped me dead in my tracks. Wow, a Thomas Organ. I must have stood there for a good 10 or 15 minutes as memories of organ music she played long ago began to swirl around inside my head. I could almost see Mom, in her satin-frilled housecoat, swaying back and forth as she played, with her feet doing hopscotch patterns on the bass pedals. She could play anything by ear, mostly in the key of B-flat. This wasn't just a memory; it cut to the core of the Very Person I Am today. It was difficult to continue my day; I was literally frozen in my footsteps, not wanting to leave the Thomas Organ, with memories of Mom, my early life, and the house we lived in, inundating my consciousness. In the end, I gently touched the top of the organ, and then slowly walked away.
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I miss you so much, Mom...


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This is the model of Thomas Organ she played. This March 27th, she will have been gone nine years. Almost a decade. And time just keeps on marching forward. She made a tape herself singing and playing organ or ukelele for me in 1988. I haven't heard it in a while. But I remember.

RAH-RAH-ZISS-BOOM-BAH...

...the wonders of shopping Wally-World in This Corporate Age...

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On PBS tonite, a program about Wal-Mart aired. And it showed clips of a shareholders' meeting that looked like a cross between a rock concert and "Let's Make A Deal". I learned that there are 250 Wal-Marts (and counting) in China, would you believe. And how the bosses of Wal-Mart suppliers in China are trained to "fudge" overtime stats and employee numbers, should someone actually come in and Check Up on How things Are Going. Also shown on the program were the "rah-rah" sessions with employees..."Wal-Mart is good...Wal-Mart is good..." Well, not exactly like that, but store managers lead cheers and the ever-faithful ground-level clerks are encouraged to yell back and wave their arms in blind devotion to The Company. (Which is why I could never work in such an environment; I'm not a "rah-rah" type of person.) By the way, they're actually not "clerks", they're 'sales associates'. Other stores call 'em "team members".

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There's just something strange about when a company refers to its employees as 'Associates' or 'Team Members'. Both terms, in my view, imply that Employees not only work, but adopt the corporate mentality, selling a piece of themselves to The Company. I'm sure that Wal-Mart, like every other 'team-oriented' business in the country has provided their workers with Employee Handbooks. An 'Employee Handbook' is actually a multi-page document that lists all the ways you can possibly lose your job. So if one commits an on-the-job infraction, and they didn't know they'd violated policy, they can be told, "Well, it's listed in the Employee Handbook. You did read it, didn't you?" Read it or not, you're Out The Door, bounced out like a rubber ball made in China for Wal-Mart. There are so many issues with Wal-Mart; forcing suppliers to almost go out of business if they, the suppliers, don't cut their prices in order to meet Wal-Mart's needs, plus all the low-wage issues with employees, er, their 'sales associates'. Rah-Rah-Ziss-Boom-Bah...

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I go into the local Wal-Mart several times a year, although the times I visit Wally-World
can safely be tallied on One Hand. There are those who will never go into a Wal-Mart for various reasons, and I used to be one of them. Largely, I still am. I do 90% of my grocery shopping at a McKay's market which has several franchises around my area in Southwest Oregon. Occasionally I go into the local Albertson's, which, while being a larger regional retailer, isn't as imposing or mega-megalomanic as Wal-Mart, which is everywhere. I get all of my prescriptions at the local Bi-Mart, a southern-Oregon chain, and I'm paying about what I'd pay at Wal-Mart. I do feel really good about buying at local businesses. So I make a conscious effort to do that.

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When I end up going to a Wal-Mart, I try to rationalize my behavior, and with Wal-Mart, well, I look at it this way: Local People Work There, so my buying there will contribute (in a very meager way) to local wages. That's what I tell myself. So I'm going to be needing new bi-focals in this year. What if Wal-Mart's prices are lower than everyone else's? I mean, it's my Vision Health, after all. There are Vision-Care Specialists at Wal-Mart. Someday they'll probably have Brain-Surgeons too (scary!). And, yeah, I've bought some CD's there, and it's not like Chinese workers making 10 cents an hour are packing those, right? (Maybe the CD companies have their own slave labor somewhere else, who knows?) So sometimes I'll go there to find that One CD I've always wanted, or to check their prices on Blank Music-CD prices. (Yep, there's a difference between blank Music CD's and regular blank CD's.) But I usually hold off; every now and then Bi-Mart marks down a pack of 50 to $9.99. And dare I say that's lower than I've ever seen in a Wal-Mart.

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I bought a $9.99 wrist-watch at Wal-Mart a couple of years ago. I really like the color of Gold, and it was just a nice-looking watch, so I got it. It had a ten-year battery, after all. Plus Gold Numbers, a gold casing, and a silver-and-gold watchband. Not Real Gold, obviously. If I ever go shopping for a Real Gold watch, it might as well have the name "Rolex" on the dial. Anyway, the gold on the watchband of the Wal-Mart watch wore out after a year. And the wrist-band only lasted two years. I'd inverted the watch band so I could read the fine print on the watch casing, and, "SNAP"!!! It's like having a broken shoelace. It renders the entire shoe (and its mate) useless until you get new shoestrings. And if you only install one shoelace, you've got an extra shoelace laying around that you'll probably never use. (Damn, it's easy for me to get "off topic", huh?)

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So I bought a replacement watchband for my Wal-Mart watch, assuming it would fit. I was in another store which had cheap watchbands for sale; I found a gold-tinted band, and took it home. I didn't have the watch with me...I didn't know I'd find watchbands on sale either. And guess what: it didn't fit! Well, it turns out that my Wal-Mart watch has a smaller area in which to insert the pins, and as a result, the "end"clasp of each band WOULDN'T FIT in the watch! I thot all these things were universal; guess not. Obviously, Wal-Mart would prefer I bought another watch from them. Sheesh. Can't you see me walking into a jewelry store, spending big bucks on a wristband to fit my $9.99 watch? So now I'm stuck with this nice-looking watch that I can't find a band for. And there are still 8 years left on my ten-year-battery. I'd hate to have to throw away a good watch! In the meantime, I went to Bi-Mart, looking for a reasonably-priced watch which possessed some quality, and laid down $40 for a Timex Watch with the Indiglo feature which lets me tell time in the dark. And it's a handsome watch. Gold numbers, and even a gold Second-Hand. Cool!

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The thought just struck me...here's what I can do...I can wait for the ten-year-battery to expire, and if that happens before a decade has passed, I can take my watch back to Wal-Mart for an exchange! New watch AND a new band. I'll have to think about this...

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One of the few other times I go to Wal-Mart is to visit their Automotive Center to get my oil changed, although there are plenty of other places down here to get that done, and I'm tempted to go elsewhere, just because Wal-Mart is Wal-Mart. But you know how Wal-Mart Super-Centers have so many other businesses located in the stores' confines? Our Wal-Mart down here has a McDonald's located On Premises. And what all of those other business are hoping, is that because someone is shopping for 'Whatever' in Wal-Mart, Joe Customer will also drop some of his hard-earned $$$ at Their Business Too. So yeah, I went to McDonald's, while waiting for my car to get serviced. I got an ice cream cone and a root-beer. Nope, not a float. I eat the cone, then drink the root beer. "That's one ice-cream cone with a root-beer chaser!!!" So McDonald's tagged me for about 3 bucks and change. Me, the big spender.

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You can tell that the "Bi-Mart" chain chose that name YEARS ago. It's obvious that the "Bi" was a pun on the word "BUY". And all I'll say about that is, wow, some word meanings sure change over the years, don't they?

HOW DO YOU LOSE TEN POUNDS OF UGLY FAT?
...Chop Off Yer Head...

That's an old joke I heard back in grade school. Of course, I have a size 8 and one-half skull, so maybe I'd lose 15 pounds? But...I have lost 10 pounds in the last 3 months, and I've hardly exercised at all. And far as I know, my head's still attached to the rest of me. Honestly, I was shocked to find out I'd lost weight. How did I do that? Well, first of all, I'm trying to ignore everything in the grocery store that is Sweet. And I'll tell ya, it's hard to bypass those Chocolate Stix with Orange Filling or store-brand cookies in those huge 48 Cookie Packs. I've been known to eat an entire one of those in a sitting. And that leads me to point #2; If I don't bring it home, I can't eat it. And, point #3 is, leave the 'non-diet pop' at the Grocery Store. I can go through 4 or 5 cans of Western Family brand Creme Soda, Cola, or their many other flavors. Instead, I've looked for a diet soda with a strong-enough flavor which will cover up the artificial sweetener contained therein, and after trying a few flavors, I think Western Family's Diet Cola does the best job of (almost) concealing the sweetener chemical, which by itself probably tastes like Battery Acid. Is my stomach corroding yet? As far as 'what do I eat instead of all the junk foodstuffs?', I eat Bananas. Loads and loads of them. I've eaten so many bananas lately, I'm sure to break out in a hearty rendition of "Day-O" anytime now.

Every few months, I get to go to the doctor. Y'know, the checkup thing. My doctor and I have embarked upon treatment for various things; I'm taking Niacin because my cholesterol has been somewhat on the High Side. My Uric Acid Level (the root of all things Gout) has been maintaining at about 4.5, which puts me right in there with everyone else; I believe a normal uric acid level is somewhere between 3 and 6 on the Uric Scale. The gout which has troubled me in the past (if you go waaay back into my archives, you'll find old posts where I was obviously trying to chase the pain away by blogging 'til I almost collapsed) is being kept at bay, which I'm really thankful for. The best anti-gout drug, Allopurinol (which I'll take the rest of my life) is thankfully about as Cheap as prescription medicines go, which is fine with me. I'm not easy, but I'm cheap.

Preceding each doctor appointment, the vampires down in the Medical Lab take their Fill of My Blood for analysis of all kinds of mean and nasty things. This time around, the lab guy tried to find a vein in my right arm. Three times he did try, and three times, he did fail. I told him I was left-handed and he'd find a better vein if he switched arms. Eureka! He struck gold (or should I say corpuscles) the Very First Time he mercilessly stabbed my Left Arm. So things could be worse, and I guess I'm either blessed or lucky, or perhaps a combination of both. My cholesterol level is down, my Uric Acid levels are now normal, I'm ten pounds lighter and the Doc says I've gotten into a nice little groove these last few months. Well how about that; I'm actually doing things right here and there. I can live with that.

My doctor is a really cool physician; he's working 7 days a week; two days a week he consults his regular patients, another couple days a week he's installing/adjusting or otherwise maintaining pacemakers (hopefully I'll never have to see him for that), plus he makes daily rounds at the hospital, and in spite of the fact he keeps an exhausting pace, for the 15 or 20 minutes that an appointment takes, he comes across as being genuinely concerned about my health, and does his best to maximize the quality of the brief time span my appointment takes. I help him along by listing any concerns I have, writing them down so I don't forget anything, and that seems to work really well, because there is a shortage of doctors down here and the more efficiently I can present my concerns, the better off he and I are. An appointment with him is almost like "Reader's Digest Condensed Medicine", but that's the name of the game, get in/get out, Hup Hup, Cram it all in there somehow. The world needs more people like My Doctor.

So he was concerned and greatly so when I told him I had a little 'growth' in one of my armpits (is that too much information?); he had me go get an 'ultrasound', and it was quite fascinating, actually watching my Tissues in motion. The nurse who operated the ultrasound machinery said there's no evidence of blood going thru the 'mass', and it's a good sign the 'mass' showed up as Totally Dark on the ultrasound screen. Tumors are nourished by the blood, and are generally lightly 'opaque' on the ultrasound monitor. After screening me, she took the results to the head nurse, and they both concurred that the 'mass' is nothing more than a benign calcium deposit, and that folks who are Old (like Me) tend to get things like that. He'll call to consult me about that next week, but it looks like I'm doing okay.

So I'm old. And Crusty. And I get the '55 and over' discount at Goodwill. Visiting the medical community is actually fairly interesting, and it's amazing, the technology that's available. In addition, so far I've found the medical community down here to be Very Professional. I live in a rather remote area of Oregon, and I marvel at the Medical Community and how great everyone's been. One more story and then I'll go: I know that Doctors have to know a lot, learn a lot, and they've spared no expense to become trained, doing residencies, consultations, amidst all the other stuff they do. So I found it rather amusing when The Doctor said that I am iron-deficient and I need to counteract that somehow. This educated, highly regarded professional told me to take a Childrens' multi-vitamin With Iron, because Children's Vitamins get into the system quicker. And he told me to try and find "Flintstones' Chewable" vitamins; I asked him why he referred to that brand...and he told me, "because they TASTE the best!!!" Is that cool or what? Yabba-Dabba-Doo!!!

Finally, one more Old And Tired Joke: Did you hear about the Doctor who went out of Business? It happened 'cos he lost his patients. Ergh...

FIVE DAYS INTO THE NEW YEAR...

...is THIS the kinda New Year it's gonna be? Ack!

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I was driving the long road home since I had to go to the other side of town to get some stuff. On my way home, the main road, a 2-lane road, goes straight uphill and then turns into a 4-lane road at the point where it takes a hard right curve. I've been driving that road for ages. Today, I saw a cop car behind me; I checked my speed as I was going 'round the bend, and my car drifted a bit, onto the paint, but didn't go into the other lane. Helpful hint: It's not wise to check your speedometer when taking a hard right turn especially when the State Police is on revenue-raising mode (emphasis patrols, I think they're called). And sure enough, several hundred feet up that street, I was pulled over. Let's see...I followed the speed limit, my insurance is all caught up, and I have an absolutely spotless record. So what's the trouble, Officer?

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I gave Mr. Policeman my drivers' license, insurance cards, registration, etc. Then he had to go back to his car to radio in all the details of my extremely unexciting life for everyone with police-band radio access to hear. When he came back to my car, he explained why he pulled me over. The Main Road, that I was following, becomes another road just past that hard right curve. I thought it was all the same road, since I was on a road that is heavily used. And, I was wrong. Road "A", which I embarked upon, continues straight into a residential area after crossing oncoming traffic lanes, and promptly dead-ends a few hundred feet down the line. Road "B", which continued the Main Road around that hard right curve, is a separate road, which happens to be attached to Road "A". Confused yet?

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Imagine the intersection resembling the letter "y". Now imagine that letter backwards. Road "A" begins at the bottom, and the hard turn is where both diagonal lines meet. According to the shape of the "y", that's where the main road, "A", becomes road "B". "A". In short, the main traffic, all of it, switches from Road "A" to Road "B". To continue straight past that intersection on road "A", you don't have to stop, signal, or anything, even though you would cross two lanes of oncoming traffic to get to the dead-end portion of Road "A". I wonder how many drivers have died in crashes relating to reaching that dead-end road... There's irony in there someplace, huh? And it would make a good-sounding Algebraic theorem, something along the lines of A=B>y/P<(sb)<I2(m). Explanation: Road 'A' becomes road 'B' at the 'y' intersection (><) in which "P" (Policeman) with 'sirens blazing" (sb) pulls over (<) Innocent or Ignorant Motorist ('I squared) (m). Although in this case, I'm Not Innocent. As Paul McCartney sang on "Beware My Love" (the flip side of 'Silly Love Songs'), "if you insist, I must be wrong." Hoop-dee-do...

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I got pulled over because I didn't SIGNAL. I found out that every time I negotiate that curve on Road "B", even though the main road bends sharply to the right, and there's no stop signal, I must signal when following the main road because technically, I went from one street to the other. BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THE SAME DAMN ROAD TO ME!!! Obviously, that last sentence wasn't part of my repartee' with the Man In Blue, who was protecting and serving, I think. But yeah, Mr. Cop-guy was right. It's gotta be great pressure to be right all the time, which they seemingly are. I hate it when they're right. Add to that the fact I'm still pretty new to this area, so I was operating with a certain amount of Basic Ignorance. But I didn't dare plead ignorance, or I might've gotten fined for being Ignorant. Which is all I would've needed...

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The Mighty State of Oregon also uses a 'Stop Optional' type of road sign; a basic stop sign with a small sign underneath it saying that if you follow the road around the corner, you don't have to stop. As far as I know, this option is only used at 3-way intersections; y'know, where one road doesn't go through. But Mr. Cop told me that You've Still Gotta Signal, even if you're just following the road around the corner like the sign TELLS you to do. Again, the corner you negotiate lands you on (technically) another street! It's almost as if the Sign Itself is enticing you to break the law. A lot of motorists think, 'well, If I don't hafta stop, then I don't have to signal 'cos the sign tells me to keep going'...What's up with that? Well, lemme tell mah fellow Oregonians, no matter what kind of sign you encounter, SIGNAL! Just Signal!

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Mr. "Blue Meanie" knew I'd be heading down that road and it was nice, I 'spose, for him to give me that heads-up. I've driven that road thousands of times and have never heard of this law. But now I know. And to prove his point, Mr. Cop, after dictating the Letter Of The Law to me, took off ahead of me and drove the same road that I use to get home. When I caught up to him, sho'nuff, he had someone pulled over for going 'round that corner without signaling. Gosh. In one way, I look forward to getting too old to drive someday. Cops give me the Absolute Creeps (explained another way: "C" (Any and all cops)=!!!!!!!!!! (me freaking out). I don't know what all happens in Police Academy, but it's as if Every Cop I've Ever Met is a huge, inflexible, impossible-to-reason-with cariacature of a human being. I respect them for the job they do, but don't expect me to ever socialize with people like that. Creepy, Indeed.

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Perhaps this traffic stop did accomplish something positive: Now that I am Officially Paranoid, I'll be signaling for no reason at all everywhere I go, flip, flip, flip...I'll be signaling so often, my car will look like a Pinball Machine with Wheels. I'll signal left; I'll signal right; I'll keep on signaling 'til I'm Out of sight. I'll signal here; I'll signal there; I'll be signaling everywhere. I'll be a traffic signaling fool; I'll signal on dirt roads where no one lives for miles around; heck, I'll come up with some sort of signal which informs motorists that I'm planning to stay in the same lane. A sort of signal that says I don't need to signal. I'll signal even when I think I might be turning, but am not sure...a signal that says I might turn, but I just don't know yet. Oregon is a seatbelt-mandatory state; I wear my seatbelt Religiously, even tho Bill Cosby once said (on a comedy album) that "The only reason for seat belts is that the ambulance driver's too lazy to look for the body". And if I'm ever in a horrendously hazardous Traffic Incident, I'll try to devise a way to signal, "quick, someone call an ambulance before I bleed out!"

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I suppose it was a slow day and Mr. Policeguy needed to keep busy. He's just doin' his job. In fact, overdoing it, which oughta make someone happy (but not me). Sighhhhh...in this quest to get older and wiser, I think I'm just getting older, and that's it. Look, I am a Very Safe Driver. If all people drove like me, this world would be safer. So why do I feel like a Criminal tonite? At least I didn't get fined. He let me off with a warning. So that's something...

STARTING OUT THE NEW YEAR POSITIVELY!

...well, it ain't much, but it's something...

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Hey, Hey! In previous postings, I belabored the fact that I'd lost a bunch of upper-case characters, on the 'number' keys. But, it may have been more like something Attacking my computer...because I did a couple of 'maintenance' things (defrags, virus scans, etc.), guess what! My Characters returned. So I can send all kinds of underhanded e-mails to unsuspecting surfers once again, 'cos I've got my "@" back! And! I've got my exclamation point back!!!!!!!!! I can also (and this is miraculous) parenthesize something, cos I've got my ( ) back! And I can brag about how much money I've saved on something or other, because my "$" is once again back in the rotation. Plus, my asterisk* has returned. How great is that? What, are you saying I've lost 90% of my mind? If that's indeed happened, at least it looks like I've got my percentage key back, too. So did my computer have some weird virus that only affected certain computer keys? Is there such a thing? Who knows?

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So today, I rambled over to the Ocean to see what kind of trouble I could stir up there. Actually not too many people were out today...probably had something to do with the rain and the gray skies, and the stiff breezes out there. So why not take pictures on a particularly awful day? While countless thousands in my town were esconced safely in the living room in front of the TV, why not go out and take some pictures? That was the question I was asking myself, and since there's no real answer for that one, I did go and shoot thusly...each photo expands if U click it. Here we go...

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Initially, photo prospects were not good today. Here's a view of the beach and ocean beyond through my drizzle-covered drivers' side window, upper left. Then, at upper right, a view taken through the windshield of people just as nuts as me who decided to go out on a day like this...

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Above left, Chicken Point, where ocean waves can go no further. At right, one of the friendly warning signs which are posted in state parks, telling the reader of the many laws they can violate, advising them to avoid violating any of them. I don't pay much attention to them...it takes too much energy to break the law; no thanks...at the end of this post, you'll find out how Chicken Point got its name. I always wondered...
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Above left, the ocean is obviously in turmoil. I can relate to that. Anyway, the ocean had transmogrified itself into a whipping froth of salt water; at right, as things cleared up a little bit before evening, the landscape turned purple and black. It's nice to get one nice photo. That's why I love digital cameras...it'll take thousands of pictures, the worst of which can get deleted in an instant. No longer must I spend gobs on Polaroid film. So that's another antique...my old flip-flash camera...

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According to local folklore, "Chicken Point", seen in this posting, got its name from old-time fishermen in the area. They would go there and scan the ocean from the top of the point, which is close to 75 feet above see level, checking if the water was too turbulent to get out there and catch fish. And if they feared that the turbulence would capsize their vessels, they would "Chicken Out". Hence, the name, Chicken Point. So now we know.